30th birthday: dirtieth and flirtieth

the past couple days have been filled with love from near and far. it’s been pretty magical and wonderful and little tiring because, hey, i’m 30 now and i get tired easily. a friend said “welcome to your 30s. every birthday from here on out is celebrated with thin soup and early bedtimes.” i can get used to that.

but 30 was GREAT. partly because i got tacos and buckeye cheesecake. partly because of the amazingly thoughtful gifts and cards i received. partly because i finished up the night with some really tasty margaritas and a great friend that understands my need to google amanda bynes, who coincidently shares my birthday.

mostly, it was great because i spent the day with two special little ladies. best buddies reunited. it makes me a little weepy to see how much they love each other. i’m lucky i got to spend my birthday with them, again.

 photo 821F8B63-360A-49F1-8848-E534DD08E211-33744-000022AD19184104_zps7481f058.jpg photo 7EC4AFD8-39B5-4F87-9AC1-CF7FAF8FA2A7-33744-000022AD240D44DC_zps2aaae40f.jpg photo CB747EF3-665D-49A8-97BD-9C15096BAB11-33744-000022AD2E8139D6_zps9d7bd538.jpg

^^^1. they switched coats and had a great time telling strangers about it.  2. special VIP treatment at the french loaf bakery. 3. playground doings. ^^^

thanks to all of you who made my 30th such a great one. sending love vibes out in all directions!!! a special thank you to my husbeau and mother. you both made my day filled with lovely surprises. i love you both dearly.

spring chicken (or hey, i’m 30 now)

 photo 06CEE9BA-BB36-40FF-A32A-44C8C5E28584-32340-000021D9A3CC48B3_zpsf0556ff9.jpg

 

Happy Birthday to me!

Sometimes, when you’re feeling a little down because you’re turning 30, life says ‘hush, babychild. here are a pair of cute, inexpensive slip-ons in your size in the girls’ section. it’s all gonna be ok.’

So, this is a sign that 30 can’t be all that bad, right? right?

photo essay catch-up

that was a nice little respite, huh? full schedules, sickness and family togetherness prompted me to tone it down for a bit over here. it was nice. we had lots of regular moments that make me happy to look back upon.

i don’t know if the break from technology and social medianess accounts for my newfound feeling of personal growth but for whatever reason it’s there and it feels DAMN GOOD. things feel hopeful and promising around here. A good friend shared this mantra with me and i’ve been living it these past few days: “i acknowledge progress in any amount, at any time.”

here’s a few everyday details that have comprised life around here:

 photo 44A9E685-2A9F-44DB-BBBD-C745B2424868-23918-00001B633A85FA04_zps60256588.jpg photo 688CA5CC-48F5-472E-A9FA-FAE3122130F8-23918-00001B631F68C40C_zps74fd2c31.jpg photo A7AB8F8B-86B0-40C2-85B1-794492B1865A-23918-00001B6388BD24BB_zps95bddc82.jpg photo 44C61782-343C-4DA9-A358-FAA5C8363089-23918-00001B63D13792BB_zps0150cd39.jpg photo AA1EC1B1-BA26-40A3-9FBB-78BAB43AC4BC-23918-00001B63E32403D8_zps86284760.jpg photo ACDBE421-74F6-40B5-9DEB-18FD37345455-23918-00001B640B9526B9_zps51f97531.jpg photo 819E3286-114F-4129-AE8D-36B3F3225D99-23918-00001B6595053C1C_zps3d5a7fe6.jpg photo FA04FF65-D208-48A5-B32A-256C3031E421-23918-00001B6485710F56_zpsc2ef2894.jpg photo 3222734F-6E22-4B0E-9CC7-D28AC5FDCE8E-23918-00001B64AD62CE7B_zps6156465e.jpg photo EB1A1A04-BE2D-4C96-95E0-7331135897B7-23918-00001B651022ACCB_zps7c47675a.jpg photo F6BDA7D5-3ADF-424E-8047-4DB807CBEE01-23918-00001B64FD2D9D7B_zps7ee08590.jpg photo 86D8B952-F0AB-49D0-9384-BEF1976A1B39-23918-00001B658417E467_zps1fc54a6f.jpg photo AFFF21DA-B285-4E40-963E-BE08CCFD43B1-23918-00001B65662A64B5_zps52f2e15f.jpg photo 7FFC3C6B-048B-4686-802A-F8A943CBCC03-23918-00001B65AC95D7F8_zps2742e70b.jpg photo 9389A298-1600-4D09-AF47-C0C7983C0982-23918-00001B65BFA45AA1_zps69777703.jpg photo EF0E57D9-39E7-4A2A-9633-FDAD022F3D84-23918-00001B65E51B0258_zpsf68057ce.jpg photo 1C3A239C-F706-4840-8D6A-A659660F6ED1-23918-00001B65D0D242F8_zps6013c848.jpg

filling out calendars — husbeau and daughter’s savory monkey bread — solo coffee shop dates — collecting pallets for garden planting — spending time next to my parents’ fire — building forts — secret sweet snacks inside said fort — a little girl who is determined to dress herself in her own style — and learning to wink — mother + daughter movie date — documenting the times the girl insists she can only eat her dinner underneath this umbrella — and happily {read exasperated but willing to indulge the creative whim} obliging — lots of food projects in which the girl exclaims “this is going to messy and fun!” — treats that are not pinterest worthy but this is real life — darla’s visit from the root children for the 1st day of spring. they brought her sweet plums, flower seed packets and some glow in the dark bubbles — HDT and moving confidently in the direction of our dreams.

other thoughts,

we’re all looking forward to movement forward and new challenges around here. spring feels promising, huh? i haven’t felt this free and unafraid in a long time. this feeling is reminding me that sometimes the worst events in our lives are really our salvation.

speaking of bad events turned good: i’ve wanted to jump on the internet and rant somewhere about the disgustingness going around the country in response to the steubenville case. i’m glad i held back and waited for a perspective moment. A friend shared this link yesterday and after viewing it i felt so hopeful. while things have been disgusting this week, the future of women looks pretty damn good. With our gender turning out promising young ladies such as Lena Dunham and Tavi Gevinson we ARE getting some things, lots of things, right for these young ladies. This vid is about a year old but it blows my mind that any organic thoughts on feminism i’ve ever had pale next to the ideas of this high school student.

It’s time we all just admitted that the evolution of women is what is going to take us to the next level as a global society and a species.

and lastly,

there’s been a death in my family. i’m lucky enough to be involved in a spiritual program at this point in my life, without which i would probably be a guilt-ridden mess at the moment. fortunately, i’ve been focusing a part of myself on the connectedness of the universe for months now and i can feel how much it makes a difference during difficult times like these. i can’t say i subscribe to the idea that bad things happen to bring us closer to our higher power but i think that through that being we grow from difficult times. i think of my own relationship with my daughter in comparison. I don’t push her down on the ground so she will get hurt and therefore run to my arms for care and soothing. but when the eventuality of life trips her up or she takes a risk and falls then I am there with arms outstretched ready to receive her if she should need me. if she asks it of me. sometimes she needs a hug, kiss and a minute protected in my arms. sometimes she just needs a reassuring voice saying “i am here” and she dusts herself off and moves on. i feel this relationship deeply with my spirit of the universe at the moment. i will probably need a little of both levels of reassurance in the coming days and i’m happy to know it’s there if i ask of it.

that’s what happens when i go away for a few days. thanks for reading friends. sending love and positivity out to you all.

goddess knowledge

hi friends.

i hope you are having a wonderful day full of love. it’s a pretty grand day, yes?

cousin and i recently gave a talk about the Greco-Roman goddesses at the Life(dot)next retreat. I thought I would provide a little history lesson: February 14th was the Roman feast day for Hera/Juno, Zeus/Jupiter’s wife. she was the goddess of commitment and marriage. well, the catholic church did this thing of placing all our current major holidays on the pagan feast days so the pagans wouldn’t have to give up their partying. pretty cool, huh? makes the transition a whole lot easier…slick even.

so in addition to celebrating st. valentine, consider invoking Hera into your day of love festivities. she probably feels a little left out…no wonder the divorce rate is rising. for those of you hoping for a valentine’s filled with not just love but making love, you might want to invoke Aphrodite, the goddess of love, as well.

fun stuff, huh? as far as love & commitment go we could all use a little more of it. let’s celebrate all the gods/goddesses/patron saints of love. anybody know some from other cultures before we got all homogenized and what not?

paying tribute to the ohioan goddess of icecream:

 photo 87DAA17B-8E90-4DD2-8663-BC04369E1DA3-5627-0000056CD9789742_zps89d3f3b3.jpg

^^^happy valentine’s day^^^

party

yesterday was a reminder of how lucky we are to have such great friends and family. a small group helped us celebrate darla’s birthday. a large group helped us celebrate from afar by sending messages and well wishes, gifts & cards. thanks to you all.

here’s just a bit of our donut + coffee + cupcake decorating party. it took hardly any time to set up, even less to clean up and we listened to the first lady of country while we tore down. i’m never doing another veggie tray again. it’s coffee and donut birthday parties from here on out. until darla’s old enough to roller skate, that is. then….ohhhh then…let’s just say there will be some roller rink parties in our future. candy kiss photo candykiss_zpse930d69a.jpg

 photo 4CB71870-9B74-43D5-9F56-08E726F49619-3758-0000031F5040C8F7.jpg

 photo 6A9B19C6-2E70-40F5-A7D7-1F62C6325209-3758-0000031F2063887A.jpg

tammy photo tammy_zpsaa8bb726.jpg

baby shower

and the nostalgia keeps rolling out. today i’m filing through pics from our baby shower, back before we knew she was a darla and we called her Sprout. it was a very happy, wonderful evening and i’m missing every single person who was there RIGHT THIS MOMENT.

2056_546400921407_349_n2056_546400886477_5705_n

2056_546401081087_472_nbelly art photo bellyart_zps88dd05ee.jpgbelly drag queen photo bellydragqueen_zpse5db6b25.jpg

friends, do you remember this night? i still crack up looking through these belly art pics. i forgot that the more people drank the more “drag queen” my belly baby became. i’m ok with it. i think these belly drawings helped ensure darla was born a girl. or maybe we all just knew. or maybe all my girlfriends, myself included, were really hoping we’d have a little girl.  also, i’m just now remembering someone drew cat whiskers on her. this explains why darla pretends to be a cat ALL THE TIME. this belly art magic is powerful stuff.

just wanted to say, thank you again to everyone for being there for us 4 years ago!

now can some of you start having babies so i can be there and draw on your belly?

less

a year of less:

less attention to the things that don’t matter. less expectations. less plastic. less time spent with people i find to be unsupportive, judgemental, and uninspiring. less laundry. less time in stores buying things i don’t need. less things i don’t need. less { fewer, i know, but we have a theme going on } lights left on. less hurried walks. less worry over things out of my control. less doubt. less time stuck in traffic. less red meat. less naysaying. less comparisons. less yelling. less time spent in my future and past mental lifescapes. less sugar {artificial sweetners included}. less time spent on my hair…which will be big for me. less frustration about where I THINK my path should take me. less facebook rabbit hole. less frustration, period. less mental re-hash. less alcohol. less caffeine, maybe.  less pinching of that fat around my stomach wishing it would go away. less procrastination. less freak out over turning 30. less fear.

a lot less fear.

more

a year of more:

more attention to the things that truly matter to me. more sleep. more books. more picnics on sunny days. more cleansing breaths. more crying when i feel like it. more gratitude. more naps. more nourishment. more hikes. more traveling. more music. more quiet spaces. more time alone. more time with friends. more bike rides. more lemonade. more laughing till it hurts. more phone calls. more love. more hugs. more support. more babies being born. more growing families. more dirt. more work. more cheese, of all types. more cartwheels. more push-ups. more baking. more snuggling. more frozen yogurt. more note cards. more family gatherings. more movie nights. more money struggles. more reading. more listening. more self-care. more yeses. more sympathy. more nights under a starry sky. more singing. more visits. more shiny, LOTS more. more dreaming. more scheming. more bedtime stories. more butter.

yes, more butter.