sunshiny week

Posted in doula work, kiddie-do by ElaineMarie

we had a very sunshiny week, which was nice for a change. we’re just itching for more of the great outdoors.

and we spent a few days with our burkeybuns friends. it can get pretty hectic with 3 kids but moments like these are more frequent than one might think.

darla and adam were so excited when joni woke up from her nap they decided to climb right in her bed with her. it was so sweet.

i love seeing all three kids able to share toys and activities now.

some other fun. look at all those conjoined darlas! it makes me happy and nervous. this photo was created with a real kaleidoscope. no iphone apps were harmed in the making of this photo.

what else about our week? hmmm.

i gave darla her first haircut. i never thought i’d be one of those moms, but i saved her hair. i just couldn’t throw it away right after. it now looks like i have a little shrew hibernating in my jewelry box. i’m sure i’ll throw it away in a couple of weeks, or sprinkle it on our garden when we start the process in march. jeez, these softy sides sneak up on me every now and again.

i’ve remembered why i stopped participating in lenten activities: BECAUSE GIVING UP THINGS IS STUPID! i’ve had a much harder time than i thought avoiding the sweets. i hadn’t realized how much i was indulging until now. i ate TWO gummy vitamins the other day because that is the closest i can get to real candy. i feel like a crack addict trying to figure out how i’m going to secretly score. is that what crack addicts call it? scoring? i don’t know yet. breaking bad is my next tv series on netflix, so i’ll find out then. not surprisingly, my body is already feeling healthier. from the lack of candy, not the crack. oh geez.

the last exciting thing is that darla and i came over for a nice long weekend visit with my family and also for me to consult with one of my lifelong friends about being her doula! i’m so excited to be back on track and a step closer to my certification. i love talking to couples about their birth choices. my friend and her husband are going to be great parents and it seems like they also have a great outlook heading into their labor and delivery. i’m just happy to be a part of these events and so thankful. the next seven weeks will consist of a lot of review of my birthing materials and prep. I REALLY CAN’T WAIT UNTIL MORE OF YOU LET ME BE YOUR DOULA.

it was a good week for us. now we’re just enjoying our weekending. hope you are too.

24Feb2012

why do you have a blog?

Posted in parenting apparently? by ElaineMarie

many of you are asking “your momness, why do you blog?”

we don’t lead extraordinary, interesting lives. i don’t have any skills or expertise i can divulge. heck, i don’t really even write that well and i surely don’t remember my 10th grade grammar skills AT ALL. Sorry Mr. Bebe.

what am i doing?

well, i can tell you that i DIDN’T start this blog to tell you that i’m the best parent out there, that i love my life as a full-time-mom and that i would never, ever, ever in a trillion years change it. i didn’t start writing to brag about darla’s beauty, brains and brawn – well, actually i did a little bit – and i’m not going to tell you she’s perfect or a little bundle of blessings all the time. because none of that is true.

i like to think i paint a pretty accurate picture of how parenting and life goes around here – it’s mostly good but sometimes can be harrowing and frustrating and lonely. sometimes i can’t believe how fortunate i am to be living this life and then other times i’m screaming into the own insides of my brain that there has to be more than this, there has to be another way.

i think that most of the time i’m a good parent. i have moments of being a terrible parent, really just sucky, but then i also have days when i am an excellent mother. days where I am a mothering superhero. and i think the same goes for darla. she’s a little girl with a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. when she is good she is very, very good and when she is bad she is horrid.

aren’t most of us experiencing our parenting like this? why would i want to paint it in a light that would make others feel like they must be doing something wrong? i’m not trying to perpetuate the parenting guilt that flows freely through our society. i like to say that i love being a mom but i dislike parenting. that’s just how it is. it’s never-ending. and i’m not going to delude myself that i love it just to get through it. i’m just going to get through it by never loosing the humor of it all and having a few cocktails along the way.

but i didn’t start writing to be a crusader for truth or for “keeping it real.”

the truth is simple: the blog makes me feel better about myself. it’s a very shallow reason if you think about it shallowly. but since i’ve started blogging i’ve started looking at my life in a new way. i think i “see” my life a little more. i pay extra attention to detail. i’m more focused on the good times and serene moments.

i want to create a beautiful existence for my family. i want accomplishments. i want quiet, subdued peace. i want adventure and barbaric yawping! i think the simple act of getting the creative juices flowing helps to permeate all other areas of my life. it’s given me focus. it makes me feel accomplished and connected in a way that full-time momming just doesn’t. maybe i’m terrible or broken for saying that but as a semi-intelligent adult i don’t get all my my needs and desires fulfilled by being a mom.

it’s about me. it always comes down to that. what can i say. i’ve told you 100 times that i’m self-centered….

the bigger question is why are you reading it?

and thanks by the way. for reading. i’ve always like you, ya know. you’ve got that certain spark :)

disclaimer: actually no one has asked me why i’m blogging. i just made that up.

22Feb2012

Mardi Gras Pardi

Posted in parenting apparently?, Run Da House by ElaineMarie

in the spirit of “yes parenting” i threw a small mardi gras party here last night for darla and our burkeybuns clan. it was an all-you-can-eat-junkfood night. the kiddos were in heaven. adam’s first words when he came through the door were “we came over to your house to eat just junkfood.”

just look how excited those kids are to stuff their faces!

and it didn’t seem to affect a little girl who wanted to fall asleep in her kitty cat bed.

i’ve decided we’ll give up sweets and sodas (for mom, darla doesn’t have sodas except rare occasions like fat tuesday) for lent. i think the practice of denying oneself some indulgences would be a good thing for our household to get back to. darla seems pretty ok with concept of no sweets until easter. as of now. she asked me this morning about some candy sitting on a shelf: “mommy, can i have some of that candy in my easter basket?”

wish us luck. so good so far but i know it’s only the first day. there’s still 39 days to give in and just shove chocolate in my single-parenting face.

22Feb2012

how do i compete with this?

Posted in love and happiness by ElaineMarie

mike and i oftentimes get into a long distance love-off when he’s away. ya know, that absence makes the heart grow fonder kinda thing. but he sends the best love letters and emails. yes, letters. he still finds time to send me postcards and letters from around the globe. i’ve saved every one. but how am i supposed to compete with something like this:

i love you a whole hugabunch bunch, wife o’ mine. i wish i were there to chat you up and love you down, but this phase of our extraordinary life together has temporarily taken us on opposite sides of the earth. joke all you want, but i was dead serious about waking up with that en vogue song in my head, and if nothing else is true, this is: it was because you were singing it. we might be separated by hemispheres and oceans and miles, but we’re very much together. i love you more than anything

your husband

just as good as a shakespearean sonnet to me. it makes me feel bad that what he gets in response goes mostly like this:

i luuuuv you. i miiiiisss you. mwah mwah mwah. i’m so tired. love. miss. bye.

21Feb2012

it was something she said

Posted in Momma Needs a minute... by ElaineMarie

my very good friend meg, whom i might as well start referring to as my life sensei, emailed a quote this week that really got my old wheels turning:

“I think if women put some more of the time and money they put on their heads in their heads, they’d be better off. I mean, nobody’s going to think you’re thirty-two, so what’s the point?” – Iris Apfel

she was speaking specifically about plastic surgery but it struck a chord with me because i am a very vain person and i kinda spend a bit of money on the upkeep of this aging body, face and hair.

but i always shy away from spending money on a class i want to take. i have had a dream of always being enrolled in a college course just to learn and not necessarily to finish another degree. i never do it because i see it as a waste of money. how come i don’t view my highlights, manicures, endless stream of make-ups and moisturizers as wastes of money?

well to a point i do and i am pretty conservative on how many products i buy and i go to the aveda institute to be serviced by students and get a better deal, but i still feel that’s money well spent. hmmm. how do i reconcile this with my woman power thoughts?

well, i’m not going to rake myself over the coals for feeling that it’s ok because as previously stated i’m very vain and i don’t think that’s going to change. but if i’m going to talk the talk of being all feminista about my life then i need to walk the walk and maybe start putting a little bit of money into further educating myself.

but i just wanted to pose the question out there: am i the only woman who finds it completely acceptable to spend money on appearance but somehow convinces herself spending money on extra classes is a waste? do you think this is societal?

well, i’m sure that 93% of that answer is that i am, as previously stated, vain. the other 7% might be coming from outside societal pressure.

go here for more of this thought provoking article about ms. iris apfel

21Feb2012

V week

Posted in it's cool to school by ElaineMarie

darla originally picked last week as a T week but i switched it to V because of valentines. ’cause, seriously, V needs all the help it can get. here’s our V learning.

so i leaned on the valentine thing quite hard the first part of the week. i cheated by chalking out weekly library trip as a “visit” but i wanted to include it in here for the sheer chance of bragging that my child now insists we visit the art gallery of the main library every time we go. oooohhh i love the columbus library. lots of other people do, too. guess that’s why it’s number one in the nation.

we did a lot with vegetables. darla helped me with the veggie portion of meals all week. and we drew up her dream garden. well, i drew the veggies and she scribbled some yellow on it and said it was corn but then she set to work on a scarecrow with the black.

we talked about venus, the planet and the roman goddess. i pulled up the birth of venus and the venus de milo and she was very concerned about where venus de milo’s arms were and why the fairies were so big in boticelli’s painting.

and since we were into art that day i broke out van gogh and velazquez because that’s what we had around the house.

it wasn’t a great week for learning because i was feeling uninspired but i think it will suffice.

20Feb2012

weekending 3.0

Posted in kiddie-do, let me let me update ya, love and happiness by ElaineMarie

we had a really good weekend here despite someone throwing up in her carseat and having a bit of a bug. not too many pictures because i was too busy running a house and cuddling a girl.

1. lots of fun things in the saturday post

2. you wanna take your umbrella in the shower? sure thang. let’s do this.

lots of other good goings-on this weekend. girlfriend dinner dates, mommy + daughter movie morning to see The Secret World of Arietty, vidyo skype from salty sailor man, kids-eat-free night with family – although this one resulted in a pretty nice shiner for darla when she ran into a table cause she wasn’t looking where she was going – ladyfriend scoring a pair of tix for us to go see the Black Keys in a coupla weekends, darla requesting to watch The Triplets of Belleville umpteen times.

yes, there is a lot in life to be happy about.

19Feb2012

dear salty sailor,

Posted in Uncategorized by ElaineMarie

i don’t really know where to begin. so i guess we’ll start with the basics:

you are gone. i am here. i am lonely. i’m missing you. darla is here. she makes me happy. she also makes me want to stick my head under water. she misses you. she doesn’t miss you. she’s fickle. she’s three.

that about covers it.

bye!

i kid. i kid.

i’m sitting here next to a little girl who fell asleep watching The Triplets of Belleville. I’m happy to say she adores the movie and it’s gotten me a’thaynkin’: we should keep The Illusionist in mind as a present for some occasion. i’d love to have it in the library for her since it was the first movie she saw in the theater. we’re still pretending we didn’t take her to see Bruno, right?

life threw me some curveballs this week but i’m happy to say things are all working out. all is continuing to be very steady and even keel. i know this should be a good thing but you know me; i’m getting antsy.

luckily i have all our summer travel planning to keep me busy. it is going to be great. this summer just ain’t gonna stop. i have high hopes for some memory making with Darla. it’s amazing to me some of the stuff she pulls out of her memory now that she can convey it to me. i’m afraid the girl remembers more than we counted on. you’re going to have to re-hide your candyland stash of money.

we received our valentine’s from you yesterday in the mail and it made my heartache. i think one of the really good things about you being gone is we get to connect through our writing again. i think it’s one of the reasons we fell in love. i certainly was floored by your way with words and still am. i’m very thankful you are able to email this work tour. i’m hoping it will keep us close this time around.

also, i’m sorry about that michael landon thing. you’re right. he did have big ears.

you have perfect ears and i love you,

wife

19Feb2012

best appreciate

Posted in love and happiness, Momma Needs a minute... by ElaineMarie

just a short list of some good things going on in life:

-friends who live in sunny places

-feeling like we have roots

-well written emails from hubster

-downton abbey

-sunny days

-lunch dates with my littlest ladyfriend. our outings to restaurants are evolving into what every woman and mother hopes to achieve out of the “lunch date.” it’s a sacred time where we can share secrets, talk deeply about our feelings. darla shares “my booty scares dirt away” with me and i impart the wisdom of not dangling her feet through the railing because her boot may fall off and clunk someone in the head. you know. the foundational conversations of life.

-crossing things off the to do list

-making travel plans

-giving myself a break. realizing i don’t have to be it all.

-concerts!!!! lots of them on the horizon.

-the many kisses frequently bestowed on me. even if they happen to usually be on a weird place like my knee, thigh, elbow, or most frequently: my butt. it’s at eye level for her.

-bossypants

17Feb2012

some things happened this week over which i had no control

Posted in kiddie-do, parenting apparently? by ElaineMarie

ok, a lot of things happened that i had no control over but most of the time i like to keep myself in denial. fun with packing peanuts and markers created a little more work for me this week but it was worth it. clearly. also, being the mom of the kid who wouldn’t climb out of the washing machine in the library was pretty awesome. sometimes it’s just whatever gets us through the day.

i think letting go of the control has been the pardest hart (reverse that) of parenting for me. it’s something i have to work on everyday in my parenting and other areas of life. it’s all a work in progress, right? RIGHT?

also, i definitely was NOT in control when that whole bag of doritos disappeared into my belly.