dear DONA, can i be a doula please?

Posted in doula work, pregnancy by ElaineMarie

yesterday marked somewhat of an achievement for me. it also happened to be the day we received 2o dollars in the mail from my mother. this could only lead to one thing in our household: achievement + $20 = celebratory tacos.

baby belly, meet tacos. tacos, meet baby belly. oh that’s right! you’ve met before.

yesterday, after almost 2 years of working on my certification materials, i sent off my application to become a certified doula by DONA International.

i have been working towards this for a long time. little by little i got it done and honestly it shouldn’t have taken me this long because i had the actual work part of it done a long time ago. i just had to find time to sit down and compile it all into papers and lists and what not. one of my problems is that i put the things that i need to do for myself last.

but i’m not going to dwell on it because the bottom line is, i done put that sucker in the mail yesterday. and now i just wait to hear if i fulfilled all the requirements in a satisfactory manner.

which is going to be a bit nerve-wracking.

i’m already waiting to hear if i passed one certification and now i’ll be waiting on this one. oh yeah, and i’m starting two new certifications in about 2 weeks. i’ve put a lot of myself into this for the past 3 years and i’m investing a lot of my future in it too. what if i get my packet back and stamped on the outside says “probably the worst doula candidate we’ve ever seen. please don’t do this anymore” ?

there’s a lot of fear wrapped up in this for me.

i have fear surrounding my ability to do birth work after the birth of my own amazing little second human. will there be enough space for me? everybody wants to be a doula now! there will probably be 50 newly trained doulas running around my town by the time i’m ready to take births again. and by the way both those last two sentences are written from a positive spot. i think it’s awesome and right that so many women want to be doulas. it’s my hope for female culture that we reclaim the knowledge of childbirth as a collective. and doulas do run around town. it’s what we do for our clients. we go to them, to their houses, to their hospitals, to their doctor’s appointments. we’re a group on the go. but will there be a space for me when i’m back on the scene?

will there be space in my own life for birth work? i worry about finding time to support clients in a way they deserve while basking in babydom and being present in my own life.

well, the answer is i don’t know what i don’t know. i can only have faith. i can only have faith in myself and in whatever future is out there for me. and i can voice these fears because i know they are not realities. they are just fears of things that have not yet come to pass. one of the main things i do as a doula is hold space for others. i’m going to have to learn to hold space for myself. i will have to hold space in my life and in my thoughts.

this will need to be mantra: my life and my world are big enough to accommodate me and my dreams.

sooooo this is all a really long-winded way of saying wish me luck with this approval and with navigating this area of life in an unknown future.

ALSO, this was a really long-winded way of telling you that those tacos were damn good and thanks to my momma for the taco funds!

15Mar2014

matching buns

Posted in Shopping by ElaineMarie

i don’t know if the person coming out of me later this summer is going to be a boy or a girl. but what i do know is that i want him/her to have matching hotpants buns with darla.

if only they had them in my size too…

from mag+pie

14Mar2014

you’re so lovely, california

Posted in Kiddie Hangouts, love and happiness, Travels by ElaineMarie

^^ this trip might have been us two {ahem, three} ^^

^^ and i might have had a whole lot of fun watching that one ^^

^^ but it really was all about these two ^^

i can’t even begin to describe how thankful i am that we were able to take these past two weeks to be with our friends. who knows if we’ll be able to do an extended visit like this again any time soon, since both girls will be in school and the new baby on the way might shift life for a while. we coined the term “european visit” last time around b/c europeans always seem to do the extended-length visit. i think they’re on to something. it was a long enough visit to settle into a rhythm of everyday life with just a bit of adventure spice added. i just hope these girls will remember these days.

california is soooo warm and sunny and pretty! i’ve had a bit of a weather shock coming back to below freezing temps this week. and i miss my friends. i want to thank them for making it such a memorable time for us. looove you!

but i am glad to be back in the way that i feel recharged and energized to take on life again. i feel revived by travel and new experiences. in actuality, it might just be the healthy dose of vitamin d. at any rate, i’m ready to take on spring. nesting urges may now commence.

and i’m ready to see all my columbus friends again. it’s time to come out from your hiber-holes, friendlies!

13Mar2014

bump day

Posted in love and happiness, pregnancy by ElaineMarie

how’s that for an angle? and is it just me or does it look like that little human is sitting slightly more to my right?

in other bump news, the baby is now kicking hard enough for darla and mike to feel from the outside. darla was pretty stoked to feel the baby kick her hand. i simply adore going through this pregnancy with her by my side.

12Mar2014

pregnancy eats

Posted in pregnancy, yum yum eat good by ElaineMarie

our house is going through a bag of apples by week’s end. partly because darla believes herself to be part of the my little pony clan and is consuming two or more apples a day and partly because i’m craving them on an almost daily basis as well.

for months now i’ve been rotating apple slices paired with either peanut butter or cheese slices but lately i’ve had a why-choose-just-one! mentality.

but i just recently learned that you should eat fruit first and separate from other food items so i don’t know how this is going to effect my snack habits. do any of you out there know if this is true? should i be having my fruit separately? should i be pairing my peanut butter and cheese with something else? i’m sure if we really got down to it we are more biologically programmed to consume one kind of food at a time rather than several together.

6Mar2014

Bump Day

Posted in pregnancy by ElaineMarie

i tried to take a bump picture this morning but it just wasn’t working. so i’m using this pic from a few days ago because it’s a pretty badass photo of this lovely bump. probs gonna frame it when i get home.

and, yes, i’ll be wearing this fringe everywhere i go from now on.

*UPDATE*

pic of the bump taken today at the beach. i’m no longer cheating on bump day.

5Mar2014

pregnancy eats

Posted in pregnancy, yum yum eat good by ElaineMarie

this pregnancy, i’m trying to average between 80-100 grams of protein a day. once you start counting protein it’s like “whoa, i’m going to have to eat a lot of food today to get my protein requirements AND all the other good things into my body.” especially if you don’t eat meat everyday like myself. i use cottage cheese as my secret weapon. the brands i get have 14-15 grams of protein in a half cup serving. i usually top it with a fresh or frozen fruit for a lovely little breakfast item or a snack. this works for me because i’m the only cottage cheese lover in my house. all the cottage cheese is mine!

what were your non-meat protein secrets during pregnancy?

3Mar2014

life{dot}next V

Posted in advantageous adventures, Travels by ElaineMarie

i wrote last year about the life{dot}next retreat i attend annually. well we just wrapped up another successful extended weekend and are all now working on our re-entry to the real world. it can be hard to come away from a weekend of feeling propped up and full of hope and ambition to then re-enter the everyday landscape of obstacles, schedules and valid constraints.

i feel this last weekend was very sacred to me. last year i wrote a pretty gushy post and even though i still feel that way, i feel like keeping this last experience closer and intimate. i had an absolutely wonderful time. i know i owe a good deal of my growth to these retreats. i would like to share a few pictures from the retreat to highlight some very good times with some incredible women:

^^^ a goddess welcome to Anahata Spa & Resort in Desert Hot Springs ^^^

^^^ and rainbow blessings, too ^^^

^^^ set up for a calligraphy exercise ^^^

^^^ calligraphy invocation ^^^

^^^ stereotypical southwestern karaoke bar, complete with fried food and champagne bucket ^^^

^^^ the lovely lady-blur of 25 females enjoying themselves at dinner ^^^

^^^ our only sunny opening circle of the retreat ^^^

^^^ saying good-bye to a view that left me feeling majestic and charged all weekend ^^^

27Feb2014

Bump day

Posted in pregnancy by ElaineMarie

Can you see my bump peeking out of this beautiful robe gifted to me by some awesome humans? Please expect to see more of this robe. And more of this bump.

26Feb2014

pregnancy eats

Posted in pregnancy, yum yum eat good by ElaineMarie

i’m sure it’s no surprise that raw veggies are showing up in my pregnancy eats. i try to get a healthy amount of raw veggies on most days. broccoli has been a big go to for me during this pregnancy because it’s naturally high in folic acid and vitamin c, both of which are important to pregnancy health. but also because i find broccoli easy to just snap off a few florets, rinse and munch.

i like to pair veggies with a hummus that is prepared with a healthy oil. this adds protein and a bit of fat to the snack.

and up there in the cup is kefir. kefir is a new addition to my diet thanks to this pregnancy. i was looking for a way to get more probiotics in my diet. kefir has probiotic benefits as well as protein, calcium and fat. i compare a few different ones in the dairy aisle to check sugar content and healthy bacteria amounts.

by pairing a healthy dairy fat food and a healthy oil fat food with my raw veggies, i hope to increase the absorption rate of the foods for my system. i’ve read that consuming them this way is actually better for my body than eating the raw veggies on their own. i’ll take the professionals for their word, but mostly i have noticed with the addition of healthy protein and fat i stay satisfied longer.

and also, there’s this: