this is my postpartum

since taking my postpartum doula training i’ve been contemplating how my own postpartum period would shake down. i’m going to be honest and state that i’ve had high hopes for this time period. this is probably my last baby and i feel i didn’t treat my postpartum with darla with the sacredness of which it was worthy. i did the typical first-time-mom thing of trying to prove that i would be good at motherhood by getting up on my feet and back in the game.

well, that didn’t work out so well.

so this time around we’re doing things differently. i’d like to document it for these next 6 weeks, maybe longer, in hopes that it’ll give others some insight i didn’t have for my first go-around. and if no one is in need of insight these posts will just be here for the internet to entomb for-ev-er.

get ready for some cute overload and postpartum tips:

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^^^ life! let’s do this ^^^

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^^^ herbal bath for momma and baby ^^^

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^^^ with big sis’ help ^^^

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^^^ i spend almost the entirety of the day reclining w/ some part of baby daphne all up in my face ^^^

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^^^ sometimes it’s toes ^^^

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^^^ sometimes it’s nose ^^^

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^^^ but more often those toes are peeking out from under a blanket during a nursing ^^^

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^^^ and everyone is tryingt to focus on rest and relaxation…except maybe darla ^^^

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^^^ she keeps herself busy helping to hold and snuggle daphne ^^^

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^^^ and helping the midwife with measurements ^^^

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^^^ and beautifying our space. “one is for you and one is for daphne, mom.” ^^^

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^^^ we’ve been lucky enough to have tons of help in the food department ^^^

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^^^ and both daphne and i are taking most of our meals in bed ^^^

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^^^ along with my placenta capsules! ^^^

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^^^ but most of my time is spent just staring at this lovely little human and snuggling up close…and changing her bountiful diapers. seriously, this girl can poop. ^^^

so, what else do i want to say about this first week of my second daughter’s life? i want to say that this experience feels right. i wanted to be kinder to myself this time around because i wanted to then in turn be able to be kinder to my family. i wanted to sit around and do nothing but mother my new little one. to be able to do that means i had to welcome in the help. i had to welcome in the care. this was something i was not good at the first time around. with darla we had a great network of friends but i think i was still trying to prove that i could do this on my own.

but doing it with help is sooooo much better!!! and we’ve been really blessed to have help coming from many, many directions. really an overabundance of help that leaves me feeling quite unworthy. but i’ll take it. and i hope i’ll let it grow within me and beside me and my family so that i can pass it on in the future.

so the theme of this first week of life was rest and recuperation. and that would be my advice for families desiring a nice start to their postpartum.  just stay in bed. just rest with your babies. gather your tribe around you and welcome in the help, welcome in the care {with appropriate boundaries, of course} and just be. everything else can wait.

and i have to send out thanks to everyone who has dropped off food, my parents, my doula, our midwives, neighbors, family near and far who have helped us out in this first week. and a thank you to my husband and first born. it’s really astounding how much love and generosity we’ve received from you all and i want to tell you you’ve made all the difference in the world to my family and my second experience with motherhood.

sincere thanks and love vibes. wish us well with week two!

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pregnancy and body image

pregnant pool lady

dear baby,

i wrote this post a year ago, roughly.  and now i want to write a quite different post.

i want to write a post in gratitude, rejoicing in the confidence being pregnant has brought back to me about my body. i don’t really recognize that person, or that voice from that post a year ago. who wrote that? certainly not this lady! because this lady says: i can wear whatever the hell i want and i look good while i’m at it.

being pregnant makes me feel so feminine and powerful and in control of my body. i know that is not the case for some but fortunately it is for me.

we’ve spent much of these last weeks of pregnancy poolside and i’ve drawn upon that confidence about my body in a way that i’m sure i wouldn’t have last year.  my legs aren’t shaved. who cares?  my suits don’t fit quite right. whatevs!  i’m huge and have fatty thighs and spider veins. not a big deal!

if anyone has had a problem with it, it really has been no cause for concern of mine. i’m guessing that if anyone has been unsettled by my appearance they’ve just kept their opinion to themselves which is exactly where negative thoughts can be kept: to their owner, poisoning his/her own mind.

which brings up another positive for me; now that i am back in a mental place where i love and revere my body, i look more favorably upon others as well. i see a beauty there that was lost to me for a while. and really, i mostly don’t find it any of my business to have an opinion about another person’s body and physique.

it is so freeing and nice. the world is a much nicer place when you love yourself and feel positive about the person you are. it’s just nice.

and i’m thankful to you, baby, and this pregnancy for bringing me back to this place. it’s regrettable that i drifted away from here for some time but i’m glad to be back now.

{universe, please help me hold on to it this time.}

because i’m sure i will have you soon, {right?} and drop some weight and become able to reach my legs again for shaving and what not but from here on out those personal appearance things will be for me and will not be about avoiding negative thoughts from others.

avoiding maternity clothes

friends, romans, countrymen,

i think it may be time to put Avoiding Maternity Clothes to rest. at this point, i’m avoiding all clothes not just maternity items. and i think it’s safe to say i’m not going to run out and purchase my first pair of maternity jeans here in the final days.

sooooo…I DID IT!!

2 pregnancies. 0 maternity pants purchased. 1,000,000,000 awesome pregnancy points earned!

just kidding. in the end it doesn’t really matter but i think i’ll get a post out sometime in the future as to why exactly i am against the maternity clothes.

what i have to share today was actually purchased with postpartum in mind, specifically night-time nursing. i’ve been getting back into visiting our local thrift store and found a couple cheap, vintage options that i love and feel are working just fine here at the end of pregnancy as well:

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^^^ this is NOT a maternity nightgown, just a muumuu some dear, large lady left behind. to me it feels like the perfect, roomy nightgown ^^^

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^^^ and this caught my eye because there may be a slight chance my grandmother had this exact same sleep set. look at that sleeve detailing and those fabric buttons!  when mike saw this on me he was like “what the actual hell is going on with you.” ^^^

and he’s right. i’ve entered into this phase of my life where i look at silk sleep sets and think “hey, that would look great on me.”  and i don’t think i’m wrong. it does look great on me. and it is not my fault that there is a lack of front buttons on reasonably priced women’s sleepwear for my age demographic!

so, that’s a wrap on avoiding maternity clothes. thanks for following along! soon we will be back to our regularly scheduled bad fashion choices. soon. i hope.

bump day

that bump. how that bump made us jump.

here’s some advice. do not write a post jokingly calling your unborn child a jerk-baby because your unborn jerk-baby will get on the internet and read it and then give you the in utero what for.

we had a last-minute ultra sound last night after this little person gave us all a scare of a 40-week breech flip.

the good news: baby is not, in fact, breech but in lovely position.

more good news: we got to see him/her as a family which was nice since mike and darla weren’t present for my last ultrasound.

the ambiguous news: u/s info shows i may have a little more time growing this person than previously thought. maybe not. it’s all devil-science-magic anyway! but i’m wrapping my head around the fact that we may be hanging tight for a while. maybe not. ooh the excitement…the thrill of the wait…the anticipation…the stretching skin!!!!

the bad news: i’ve now called my jerk-baby a jerk-baby 3 {er…4} more times so i’m sure to experience some additional wild times from this kiddo here at the end in retribution.  it’s ok, i deserve it.

baby bump

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pregnancy eats

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pregnancy eats this week consists of spicy chorizo tacos because you’ve heard that spicy things kick-start labor, right?

it was worth a shot.

so this taco dinner was in celebration of two things: my due date and my momma sending us taco funds.

see….

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^^^ look at how cute she is labeling it and all ^^^

well, the due date came and went and baby and i are still a We. but i’m ok with that. i’ve chilled out a little bit about getting this person here. the smudging session helped change my energy towards the process both emotionally and mentally. plus, once it became apparent that little one wasn’t going to make an entrance on July 7th, the most sacred day of the year, then i kinda relaxed.

you see, July 7th is Fred Savage’s birthday. i have to confess i did not treat fred’s birthday with the respect it deserves this year. i was so caught up in my own disappointment of having a non-savage baby that i didn’t feel like celebrating the greatest american that has ever lived. and that was selfish and wrong.

dear fred,
i’m sorry i missed your birthday this year. fred fest WILL happen for 2015. promises, promises. and i’m sorry my jerk-baby wouldn’t come out of me on your birthday. 
love,
elaine

so since we rolled on past the 7th it didn’t seem like such a big deal to keep on going past the 8th. but mike and i decided it was nice to celebrate the due date anyway, just because. it’s an accomplishment to grow a human for this long, friends.  my hope is more ladies will start seeing it that way instead of an affliction to carry your little person past dates.  even though, i get it. i’m much more physically miserable with this pregnancy than my previous, and i’m one of the lucky ones with very little complications. so i understand the ladies that have 9 mos of misery and are ready to be done. but the hardships of an older body kinda make me even more proud to carry this person onwards until the universe sees fit to bring him/her this side of my pelvis. it just felt like something to be celebrated instead of bemoaning.

plus, these dates are so fluid. it’s a window. and honestly, i am NOT a charter so my dates for calculating were ballpark figures anyway. so this person will truly be here when they are supposed to. i’m relaxed. i’m cool. i burn incense and wear fringe shirts now so i can handle this…

and also, it was an excuse for tacos.

BUT i would like to make an announcement that two things will be happening from now on:

1}  i will be watching episodes of the wonder years nightly until this babe arrives in repentance for my treatment of fred’s day.

2}  i will not be answering any questions/texts/emails/fb messages about whether or not i’ve had this baby. this blog revolves almost completely around my over sharing and need for attention. once i have this baby, trust me, you’ll all know about it!!!

preparing a space for baby

one of the fun things we did this past weekend was cleanse our room and labor space. darla helped me sage our bedroom and fill the space with good energy for labor. when i asked her about what she thought of during her turns to hold the smudge stick she said “how much i’m going to love my baby brother or sister.”

that’ll do, sis.

like i said in this post, it’s not really about whether or not it works, it’s the ceremony of it. it was one more thing i could do to let the universe know i’m ready. it was something to do to feel spiritually connected to this space. it was another way to bring my daughter into the folds of this process. one more way to feel connected and welcoming to this new being.

so, space has now been cleared and cleansed for this new person.

back to waiting…

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