Category Archives: parenting apparently?

it was three years ago…on this very night…

Posted in Momma Needs a minute..., parenting apparently? by

it’s 12:54 am and i’m up, because this is the only time of the day i can get for myself. and because i have been working on preparing for darla’s birthday. technically, it is her birthday because three years ago, down to the minute, she came into the world.

oh how a mother never forgets that first minute.

she’s three now. it’s so cliche, but i can’t believe it. i think i’m lucky because i don’t sit back and think “where did the time go?” I have felt every minute of these three years roll past. i think what happens for most of us parents is we spend so much time looking forward and preparing for what is next in our childrens’ lives that these moments, birthdays and other monumental occasions, stop us in our tracks and make us be present.

i think about how happy i’ll be to see her become an older child and put her inborn independence to good use.

but i never stopped to think that she’d actually be three. then four. then five. and then her running away from me will mean more than just me chasing her down in a mall. it will mean her not wanting my kiss good bye in front of her friends. it will mean her wanting to spend more time with others and less time with me. it will mean i will have to chase her down for attention instead of the other way around.

so, now she’s three. and darla is going to be GREAT at being three. and i’m going to try my hardest to remind myself to be present for these next 8 months because she’ll be starting school in the fall and the great migration away from me will officially begin.

and that’s why i’ll have to just get me another one…

last day as a 2 year old

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today is darla’s last day as a two year old. ( i double checked. sometimes the days can get lost around here.) this morning i asked her to draw two pictures. The first is of all the things she did as a two year old. The second is of all the things she’s going to do as a three year old. here is her artistic interpretation with some commentary:

IMG_1701

My Life as a Two Year Old by Darla Marie Wright

“i runned away a lot. then i ran in circles. small ones first. then i bumped my head on the table and all my hair fell off. then i joined the circus!!!!!”

IMG_1702

What I Will Do When I Am Three by Darla Marie Wright

“I will walk down the street by myself. and run in circles.”

well, now we know what to expect.

busted…almost

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a few days ago darla had a nice little streak of being a very good girl so i got some red, white, and green gummi bears, filled our glass christmas tree, and left a note for her from santa. he told her he was proud of her and had one of his elves come leave her a treat and she should continue to be good so he could bring her more toys and treats on christmas day.

she was over the moon. and since then she talks about all the presents she’s going to get at least once an hour. i think my plan worked though and the old jolly man has carried a little more clout with her when i say things like “santa’s watching and he wants you to eat your delicious curry.” we had to pretend it was radish curry, by the way, because she’s been insisting she’s boober fraggle.

well today she found my grocery list scribbled on the same stationary as her note left from “santa.” she called me out on it. she really gave me the third degree and kept asking “are you sure this isn’t another note from santa because it looks just like my other one?”

away to my excuses i flew like a flash. i can’t tell if she bought it or not but i’m still in disbelief that my not-yet-three year old almost broke the santa code right open. she’s sleuthy.

flashlight self-revelations

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i guess it’s only natural to become introspective in the dark.

the video quality during this flashlight disco dance session wasn’t the best but the punchline is in the audio anyway. these sessions are therapeutic and entertaining all at once.

*in case you all can’t translate my child as well as i can she says “why do i have to be this way?”

Attached Adventures: Keeping Calm & Connected During Holiday Travel – Word of Mom – What To Expect Blogs

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my friend, mary catherine, was invited to guest post on whattoexpect.com and her post was revealed yesterday.

the funny thing is the whattoexpect people linked her pro co-sleeping advice to an anti co-sleeping article they had previously written instead of using the links and information she provided for them. hmmm. wish i could say this surprises me but i should start a book called What to Expect from the What to Expect Franchise.

her writing and advice are both noteworthy. please read if you’re expecting, new parents or seasoned parents that wish you could get back into your go-get ’em lifestyle. we practiced babywearing, co-sleeping and on demand feeding with darla. the end result = a child who knows her way around an airport and is familiar with road trip protocol. 10 roundtrip flights before age 3 ain’t to shabby.

if i can say anything about us wruckers, it’s that we’re flexible. even down to our littlest wrucker. all these practices helped us maintain a flexible household. here’s mary catherine’s article:

Attached Adventures: Keeping Calm & Connected During Holiday Travel – Word of Mom – What To Expect Blogs.

also, here’s a link to safe tips for co-sleeping.

cincinnati or bust???

Posted in it's cool to school, kiddie-do, parenting apparently? by

here’s our day:

all three key players loaded into car. only one of us has egg on her face: success!

arrive at beautiful cincinnati museum center: success!

take in some architectural elements: success!

explored exhibits: success!

deliciousness at our lunch spot discovery servatii: success!

and, as always, a little silliness: success!

i’m reminding myself of the successes of the day b/c a good portion of the second half was a total bust. no rest for the weary girl. no rest for the weary parents. behavior issues from toddler caused behavior issues from parents. okay, just from me. and why does she insist on having a full force surge of independence show down every single time we’re in a parking lot? it’s all trivial stuff in the long run but by the end of the day i wanted to bang my head against the backseat window. oh yeah, did i mention i had to ride smushed in the backseat with wild child while the ikea purchase took up most of the room in the car? i’m sorry to complain but i’m trying to poke fun at the chaos more than anything. also it’s my writing so ICanDoWhatIWant!

despite the pitfalls, we discussed with jubilant enthusiasm (jubilant i tell you!) returning another day and time. we only scratched the surface of all that the cincinnati children’s museum has to offer. and with our reciprocal museum membership we have no excuses.

dear salty internet friends,

oh yeah. i know you’re salty, too. mike’s back but the weekly updates won’t stop. smiles!

somethings that need to be said about life now that mike is back:

i spend my more self righteous moments making claims that i hold my family together by taking darla on single-handedly while mike is away. the reality that i love and abhor to admit is that i’m barely half the equation. the things mike does for this family are amazing. AND he does it without a thought of recognition. i, on the other hand, always want to hear my praises sung from the castle tops. reminder: i’m self centered. he’s gone for 3 months, works 12+ hour days when he is on tour and then comes back home to us and ALWAYS jumps back in without missing a step, like he’s never been gone.

if we switched places i would probably get a divan from rent-a-center for my first week home and place it right in the center of our most used room. i’d then commence with a big theatrical performance of how hard a transition it is. i’d repose on that divan all week sighing and squinting a lot. and my hand would probably be draped across my forehead 93% of the time. i’d also be wearing a hoop skirt just because… anyways, that’s the difference between us and that’s why we’re best suited for our current roles.

with that being said, i have to do the public acknowledgement thing again and say thank you to my husband for his help around the house. you have no idea how much it means to me to have a partner running this house.

i recently used the analogy of the wizard of oz to describe how mike being home revolutionizes my world. it can not even be described as a 180. he picks me up and sets me down in a completely different land when he returns. his twister blows in and stirs things up, carries us away, and then we eventually settle into a life routine that is really beautiful, vivid and full of adventures. yes, he is a storm. i mean, having a third body and mind in the house is a lot to recalibrate. more ideas and thoughts to be listened to. another body to be danced around. and oh the syncopation of the bathroom schedules. ladies, you understand? sharing a bathroom with a boy….ewwwww! but i’ll take it!!!!!

i’ll leave you with a few pics and then one last thought. more pics from our week will be added later. running a busy life means less time to blog about busy life.

some of my favorite pics of the week

i feel like sharing this thought:

there’s a big focus and push to continuously make life easier in our culture. i’ve learned that it’s the times when life is hard, so difficult that you don’t know if you can go on any longer, when your life has spun so far out of control that all you can do is dance in the eye of the storm – those times are the most important. those are the times you can’t afford to miss. those times are the living, breathing, oozing, pulsating elements. because even if you fuck it all up today the sun will still rise tomorrow. live for the hard times.

the last mother + daughter day

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today is our last mother + daughter day. hero worship is riding high in this household and darla has been talking about her daddy non-stop. that’s the way it should be. for about 2 weeks i’ve heard over and over all the things daddy is going to do for her when he gets home and if i say no to a particular request i get a “my daddy always lets me….” in return. well, well.

i’m very excited about mike’s return this time because this is the first display of anticipation darla has shown towards our nonconventional lifestyle. in the past she’s always been excited when she sees mike again but this is the first time there is cognitive eagerness for his return. i’m happy to have a companion in my pining for mr. mike.

except there’s another feeling in there, too.

all the things darla says daddy is going to do for her are the things i’m currently doing for her. have been doing for her these past three months. solo. i do want her to have a glimmering view of the times mike is included in daily life, but what about when he’s not? can’t those memories be as bright for her too? i try very hard to make all times magical around here and i guess, what i’m saying is, i want some freaking credit. is that selfish? probably yes, since it’s me after all.

i just hope that someday, down the road, darla will realize how every-ounce-of-energy hard this all is.  i hope the next time that mike is departing darla will be just as excited for she and i to be a twosome again. not that i don’t want her to miss her dad but i want to make sure her life is even and not full of pitfalls and disappointment when he leaves. i want some mommy worship too!

but today i’m trying to enjoy the last few hours to ourselves. for my own sake. even if darla never gets it. these days are infinitely special to me. no matter how much i pout and complain on day 36 of mike’s rocket 88 day tour.

to quote darla’s favorite book recently, Eloise (thank you frauntie amanda!!!): “she is my mostly companion.”

“you gotta napkin on your head, napkinhead!” – girls dinner out. mohawk restaurant.

baking cupcakes for daddy’s surprise

ready and waiting for his arrival. in the meantime…

mother + daughter tutu party!!!!!!!!!!!!

stranger danger

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is it bad that this video has been my main visual for teaching stranger danger?

i was shown a coupla years ago by my friend jeff. he warned me that it would forever ruin modest mouse for me. he was right. i don’t think Brak and Brock are a coincidence either.

*post update: i actually compiled this post over last weekend and set the publishing forward but since then i’ve seen a rather disturbing youtube video of an attempted kidnapping and the latest football scandal has really amped the need for some stranger education in our household. tried to hold the important convo with miss d today and at then end, when i asked what she would do if a stranger offered her a sucker to get in his/her car she said “mom, i would be very careful and take the lollipop and get in the car.” oy vey. work in progress.