better to see you with

3rd eye

i know i’m supposed to be showing you pictures of all the festive holiday stuff we’ve been doing but the truth is i’m kinda over it. this photo is the one i really wanted to share because i think it speaks more about our life than any holiday projects or baking we’ve been doing. darla asked to have a third eye drawn on her head before we went out to see the hobbit and well, you can see i obliged.  for the record, she does know the significance of the third eye and fell asleep many nights listening to the story of shiva and his third eye read from the children’s bedtime storybook from India i picked up a couple of months back. she is a real kook and i love her and i will draw a third eye on her forehead and let her wear it in public any day if that is how she wants to interact with her world!!!

well, ok i’ll show you just a few of our winteryness pics, too:

graham cottagecottagesnow walksnow icee

graham cracker cottage with dad, first stomp in the snow, and maple syrup snow slushie.

everyday

it’s an ongoing discussion in our house about the proper use of the furniture. most objects in life become darla’s personal trampoline.

i just put on a movie for her after lunch and removed myself to the kitchen because for the love of zeus i need to get some stuff done. i heard her jumping but decided to just let it go for today. shortly thereafter she came running into the kitchen visibly excited and exclaimed “i wish everyday could be just like today!”

“what do you mean?”

“i wish i could jump on the cushions everyday! it makes life so wonderful!”

oh geez. is it really that big of a deal if i let her jump on the couch. it’s old and busted up anyway. why do i make such a big deal about it on a regular basis? do i need to continue to set the boundary of no jumping on the furniture or do i need to give it up as one less thing i need to control?

if anyone has any ideas let me know.

ps. she kinda regulated herself after a couple minutes and moved the cushions onto the floor and jumped on those. maybe the universe is trying to remind me that things work themselves out when i just let go.

free will walking

walk home

is the twin of good will hunting.

just kidding.

stopping to snap this pic helped me bring myself back to focus yesterday. i realize that a lot of times i don’t let my girl just have a “find what we can find” walk about. she’s independent and wants to be in charge of her own locomotion but that means i’m stopping about every 4 feet to urge her further on, most of the time.

it’s gotten to be somewhat of a bad habit of mine. i have forgotten that sometimes we don’t have anywhere to be. we can just be right here, on the sidewalk looking at rocks, sticks, snails and leaf piles. often times we do have some where else to go so i need to let her have advantage of the times we can just take it all in.

so, stepping back and taking this pic yesterday brought me back. we took our time, darla was bilbo baggins with a stick and then 3 mins later she was all walked out and wanted a shoulder ride.

see, elaine, if you just let go of your control issues everything works itself out.

wearing awareness

it’s international babywearing week and while i no longer have a baby to wear around – don’t even get me started – i thought i would still share some info and experience from our almost 2 years of babywearing.

my two favorite photos from our babywearing days speak for themselves as to why i loved toting darla around

i can still connect myself to the feeling of carrying her, snuggled up next to me, for so many months. i’m hoping i’ll be able to tap into that as the years go on, as time turns me into an old lady.

we used the maya wrap ring sling most of her first year and our ergo thereafter until it was stolen. you can tell how wounded i am about this incident by the number of times i’ve brought it up on here.

i found wearing darla to be so much easier than dealing with a stroller. this may be because we were dealing with mostly cityscapes i.e. cracked and crowded sidewalks, tight spaced restaurants and stores, mass transportation. don’t misunderstand, we relied on both but it was so nice to have a comfortable alternative.

the Maya Wrap Baby Sling aided my breastfeeding relationship as well. darla was close to breast and i didn’t have to worry about carrying around a separate nursing cloth to cover up. the wrap has ample fabric at the end that could easily be pulled over to cover any exposure.

one of my favorite accomplishments with the sling was laundry time. yes, i know. lamesville. but when mike is out to sea chores fall solely on momma. laundry posed the biggest problem in our 7 floor building. i tried all combinations of shoving laundry in various places in the stroller and wheeling it all down, none of it working out very well. that is until it donned on me to just wear darla down and i could carry everything just as i had before. our laundry bag even had enough slack in the pull tie that i could hang it over the opened laundry door to transfer clothes. once a woman who had been in and out of the laundry room at the same time as i came over and commented that she was marveled by my system, that i seemed to be more efficient than she was and i had another human strapped to me to boot.

in short, babywearing helped me tackle the tasks that can sometimes seem so daunting when you have a little one. especially during times when kiddos are feeling under the weather but chores and errands still have to be accomplished.

once darla was older we switched to the ERGObaby Baby Carrier because it seemed a little more comfortable with her new, larger frame. we attended a 3 day music festival when darla was 16 mos old and she spent hours on end nestled on my back or front, napping, eating, enjoying the music while we danced together.

aaaand when i look back through our pics of babywearing days i notice that it oftentimes left my hands free for holding a nice frosty beverage. soooo, there’s that benefit.

i guess it’s time to wrap it up now that i’ve gone and opened up the drinking and momming can-o’-worms but i just want to express how much i love babywearing. i think it offers families the opportunity to bring their little ones along in their lives in a more involved way. baby is close and a part of the action. i know there are trips, ball games, concerts, parties and many various other activities we wouldn’t have been able to enjoy without that option. i’ve also done my fair share of babywearing while nannying. there are many benefits to being able to chase after kiddo number one while kiddo number two rides along for the chase.

if you’re interested in babywearing shop around. collect your info. all carriers are different. if something doesn’t work, try something else. lots of shops let you try carriers on in store so you can find which one is most comfortable for you.

the thing about acorns is…

Photobucket

yeah, this patience thing is one i’m meditating on A LOT lately. this illustration spoke to me from one of darla’s library books, Outside Your Window: A First Book of Nature, so i thought i would share it. i’m constantly reminding myself that it takes time for our seeds to come to fruition.

i’m always eager to see the results of work and effort and have a hard time remembering that everything happens in its own time. i can get disproportionately discouraged by minor setbacks.

what do you do when you need to conjure up a little more patience? please fill me in. i need all the help i can get!

the wonderful story of how you were born

IMG_4277

last weekend i was perusing in a used bookstore and i came across the most amazing vintage book geared toward explaining procreation. it’s everything i’ve been looking for in an appropriate explanation of sex, procreation, birth and nursing….and it was written in 1952.

The Wonderful Story of How You Were Born is a pretty fantastic resource by Sidonie Matsner Gruenberg. Besides the fact that it’s a lovely little vintage book with great illustrations and fun to look at, it’s very matter of fact about procreation for all life on earth. Gruenberg doesn’t shy away from using medical terms- seeing the word vagina in a 50s children’s book is pretty cool- but explains them in tangible terms. i feel the book is very respectful to the Creator without being overtly religious. it even explains genes in a way a small child could understand.

i’ve started reading some parts of it to darla but mostly i’ve been reading and re-reading as a way of internalizing the way the author explains the birds and the bees so i have some good material for when the off the cuff conversations come about.

if any of you parents are looking for a good resource i suggest getting a copy of The Wonderful Story of How You Were Born. an updated version from 1971 is also available but the 50s version is much prettier.

oh and i also found a book about Gnomes that i’ve been coveting for a long time. it actually does cover gnome procreation…and a little book of western songs. it was a good day at the bookstore.

IMG_4276

IMG_4278

school dayz

we tackled our convergence with traditional education in these past weeks.

while other parents snapped cute photos of their little ones posed neatly in front of signs THIS is what i had to work with

IMG_4280

let’s take a closer look at those facial expressions

IMG_4281

ha ha. yeah, well she’s really going to regret it when i make her come back to this sign EVERY YEAR on the first day of school and reenact these photos. i mean it.

despite what these pictures portray, her first week of school went off without a hitch. in fact, these pics are taken from orientation day, at which she tried to keep us from coming in the room with her. she just held up her hands and said “bye, guys. bye.”  right after these shots she wanted to clarify “soooo….the next time we come to school you’re just going to drop me off and then leave, right?”

it seems we’ve both been looking forward to a little time apart. i’m happy to have a little girl who is well adjusted and ready to be independent.

we had time the following school day, the first official day of school, to snap a few nice ones:

IMG_4283

IMG_4282

IMG_4284

i tried to honor her wishes with a quick goodbye on the first day but i did snap this shot of her right before she strapped all three baby dolls on herself. she’s a tiny, baby-wearing enthusiast.

for the record, i prefer those shots of darla next to the sign over any first-day-of-school conventional poses.

renewal

i haven’t been posting lately, but guess what folks – i just renewed the domain name for momjeanz so i’m recommitting myself to the project.

i know. i’ve just given your lives new meaning.

in true elaine fashion, this is about me not you. self-centered, as always.

we’ve been going through some things lately and i’ve found it difficult to muster the energy to do the blog and to feel authentic about what i’m putting out there. i say this because when i look back at the blog it makes it seem like life is so happy and carefree when in reality it’s been a bit rougher than that.

but then i remembered that these rough parts have always been here. as long as this blog has been around they’ve been here. and maybe that’s why i started doing it in the first place – to remind myself of the good parts of the day, of the bright spots.

these are my bright spots. with a few pity parties and emotional outbursts sprinkled here and there. but mostly these are the good moments when i look back and am filled with such gratefulness for all of life’s spots, dark and bright.

and i want to continue to share my brightest spot:

IMG_4291

well, order a stickygram of that and slap it on my fridge. if that isn’t a summary of my child in one frame then i don’t know what is. if i could conjure one image of her as a 3-year-old it would be this. leaping. LEAPING. she’s forever leaping. fearlessly. in a way that puts anxiety straight into my heart while at the same time comforting me and saying “that one, she gonna be ok. she gonna take on de world.” (for some reason this voice is that of sebastian the crab.)

this year has been about us taking the leap from baby to big kid. and she is ready for all the big kid challenges. she basically wants me to hand her a stack o’papes and a cap and let her raise herself on the street.  i’m almost tempted to because i love (LOVE) the movie newsies so much. alas, she is a girl and not a young christian bale so i’ve decided to keep her and raise her myself.

why?

because it’s so much fun. everything turns into an adventure. trips to the nursery and apple orchard turn into teachable adventures. and also, there’s the snacks. obviously. when you’re raising a child there’s an endless stream of snacks and i, for one, benefit from that. so does my gym.

anyway, a few more snaps from our nursery/orchard visit with a girl who wants to be dorothy:

IMG_4287

IMG_4286IMG_4285

IMG_4290

acceptance

my life lesson as of late has been acceptance. it’s been a hard one for me, let me tell ya.

i’m learning that there are things about myself and my loved ones that can’t and shouldn’t be changed. it may come to pass that i discover i’m a completely different person than i thought i was. i feel as though a lot of my life has been focused on exacting the type of life i think i should have instead of focusing on the life i want.

maybe i need to accept that my personality is such that i would prefer seclusion in a quiet cabin by a fire instead of traipsing off around the globe. maybe i need to accept that i would ACTUALLY prefer to spend winter in hibernation in a cabin in the woods and then the remaining three quarters driving around the country in a mid-size recreational vehicle. yeah….that sound just about perfect.

maybe i need to accept that i will always desire polar opposites. i need to accept my inconsistency. after all, inconsistency isn’t really all that bad.

i’m ready to accept the good and the bad instead of feeling like life has to be one big quest of self-improvement. yes, i do want to improve and continue to grow but maybe it could do with a little less self-imposed pressure.

and i’m due for an outward push of acceptance. like…maybe i need to accept that my daughter may never, ever learn to sit in a chair correctly:

IMG_4051IMG_4050

and that’s ok.