unschooling: mythological creatures park

Posted in advantageous adventures, it's cool to school by ElaineMarie

if you follow this blog religiously, like you all do, then you know that we { read that as I } have a soft spot for the mythological creatures fountain near the santa maria. it has some official name but i don’t know it. we packed a picnic lunch and spent some time reading, relaxing and building houses for ants.

first, i must tell you: i made the most bomb ass peanut butter sandwiches. they were fresh honey roasted peanut butter with some of our fresh strawberry preserves. i took that picture to commemorate it here forever.

darla ran around the park for a while, then ate and ignored me while I was all crazy and trying to read books to her. she was too busy making “creations” of paper dolls and building houses for ants. i eventually scrapped the books and helped her build her ant homes. it was a smart move to flow where her natural interests were at the moment. i showed her how to make a cube and we had a nice discussion about that. we spent some time looking at the santa maria, talking about boats and portugal and chistopher columbus.

i’ll always remember this unschooling outing as it was the last we’ll have on RuJu. we also learned a valuable lesson about bike thievery while downtown. this is one of those moments that i wish this blog was famous and some bike company would swoop in with a sponsorship opportunity and give me a new one…but no. we’ll get it worked out somehow on our own.

but really that bike sponsorship thing would be handy. can someone work on that?

anyway, thanks for checking in on our unschooling adventures.

12Jul2013

daily moment

Posted in daily moment by ElaineMarie

is this more stand by me or moonrise kingdom?

12Jul2013

doula spotlight

Posted in doula spotlight, doula work by ElaineMarie

hi good peoples!

this post is part of an {hopefully} ongoing series called the doula spotlight. my goal is to interview doulas around the country to highlight some of the good things birth workers are doing for our birthing mothers. each week we’ll be answering 3 different questions about doula life. i’m really excited to start this series and share the wisdom of these women with you.

i’m very excited to host this next lovely woman on the doula spotlight. She’s been an invaluable resource, support, and friend to me since i just showed up in columbus and knew i wanted to do this but didn’t know quite how i was going to get there. Jenna Wojdacz has been supporting Columbus parents for 12 years and she’s been supporting me as a doula mentor for 3. She also serves as a reproductive health educator for Columbus area schools. She’s a pro at hosting get-togethers and makes a mean curry. I give you Jenna’s doula wisdom:

1. how long have you been a doula and what led you down this path?

When I was pregnant in 1996, I made the decision to have a homebirth, with no knowledge of how that might happen, not knowing anyone who had ever birthed at home. It just seemed right to me – the approach at the midwifery practice was so different from an OB. That experience planted a seed of awareness in me, about the way birth is treated in our society, and about how different that could be. In 2001 I attended a doula training class and began attending births immediately.

2. in which different settings have you supported births? how does your role change in different birth settings?

I have had the privilege of attending births in both hospitals and homes. I have been there as a baby surprised us by being born with startling rapidity in a backyard; I have been there, behind scrubs and a surgical mask, for a planned surgical delivery. My fundamental role does not change – to serve this woman, and by extension, the other people she has chosen to include in her birthing – but how I am able to execute that service is definitely impacted by the location. More medical interventions = more restrictions on a woman’s actions and behaviors. it’s just a fact. That does not make doula support less important in interventive situations, just different, in some ways more challenging.

3. do you help mommas/couples prepare for labor?

Honestly, it is the preparation that is my favorite part. Though there is no way to know exactly what sort of cards a birth is going to deal, so much good work can be done in hours and hours of conversation about a woman’s (and her partner’s, if applicable) thoughts and hopes and concerns. I love the process of watching people settle in to the idea of parenting, which starts before birth. Watching the growing awareness that they are the experts, that this is their own work, that only they can do. There is specific preparation about hospital policies and labor management techniques and pushing strategies and newborn triage, but it is the mental settling in that is, to me, the really important, transformative work.

I’d like to thank Jenna for sharing on the doula spotlight and for supporting me over the years. Both mean a lot to me.

HEY YOU! are you a doula? would you like to contribute to the doula spotlight? send an info request to heymomjeanz {at} gmail {dot} com. thanks!

11Jul2013

daily moment

Posted in daily moment by ElaineMarie

crazy kook.

11Jul2013

unschooling: the north market

Posted in it's cool to school by ElaineMarie

this is one of those times that i turn my craving for a bredzel pretzel into an unschooling opportunity but you all have been humoring me for this long so why stop now? let’s just keep going with this fancy charade, shall we?

we went to north market this weekend for said bakery item and turned the experience into a mini-unschooling outing. darla and i learned about the principles of a market when we picked strawberries so i felt we did some good work building on those principles as we looked at the different stalls of items brought in from surrounding farms. or maybe she was just doing whatever it took to get me to buy an icing cup to go along with the pretzel but as long as she pretends to be learning from me i’m ok with it.

we’ve also been working on the concept of money and math and the market is the perfect place to do some practical application. having her help me figure out how much money we should give and how much we should receive in change has been fun for her. she likes to be the money handler.

thanks for checking in on our unschooling. i hope this is providing some inspiration for some unschooling in your life. you can just refer to it as it’s more common term of “parenting” but me thinks myself more free-wheeling when i apply an unconventional term to it.

rib jab. wink wink.

10Jul2013

momshortz

Posted in Momma Needs a minute... by ElaineMarie

can i wear these?

i broke out my cut-offs today and immediately after putting them on went into questioning “i’m a mom and i’m 30. can i still wear these?”

i’ve had them since college and even though cut-offs have a certain connotation i feel this is underplayed by the prarie lace i sewed on the pockets about 10 years ago. this means when i put them on i look 10 years younger, yes?

no.

the thing is, i don’t think i’m fat. i don’t feel fat. i’ve got a few extra pounds on me like everyone else but when i look at myself i don’t think it’s an obscene sight for me to be in them. but i have that gut feeling that says i’m too old and too fat and too mom to wear them.

but then again maybe it’s more of a reaction to the fact that i often look at pictures of myself years later and think “who let me wear that?”

am i making this more complicated than need be? is it really ok for me to wear my cutoffs even in my 30s? what does being a mom have to do with it? why is that in there in my brain? why is there societal mom guilt that I should dress different now that I’m a mom? should i dress different? would it really be better if i did dress different b/c…am i kidding myself here?

i don’t have the answer yet. i wore them today and it felt alright. so i do know that. maybe i should just enjoy one last year in them because wearing cutoffs at 31 would really be pushing it…

but seriously someone tell me if i can still wear these. thanks.

10Jul2013

daily moment

Posted in daily moment, Momma Needs a minute..., parenting apparently? by ElaineMarie

i love that my little girl grabs a bumbershoot and galloshes {can you tell i’m feeling very retro at the moment?} and heads out for a good time during a rainstorm. i dislike that my first reaction is to try and control it and think how this activity will interfere with my routine. she lives life in the moment and each moment to the fullest. please, universe remind me not to squash this out of her.

10Jul2013

new doula t-shirt and homebirth onesie!

Posted in doula work by ElaineMarie

hey y’all.

so what i do when i stay up late at night is write blog posts and design birth t-shirts. here’s a blog post about new t-shirts! {i’m really good at multi-tasking}

so, what we have here is a nice little organic homebirth inspired onesie for your lovely little lassie. she would look darling in this number at your monthly birth circle meeting, dontcha think? {there’s also one in blue if you have a homebirth homeboy}

and next we have a Need a Doula? t-shirt in athletic grey, inspired by how athletic the last birth i supported turned out. i got a full upper body work out. you try doing a hip-squeeze on a momma for a couple hours and tell me it’s not a phenomenal feat of upper body strength ;-)

and of course there are lots of other styles over on the website. i’m favoring tanks during these warm days when walking through farmer’s markets and festivals are sparking some good birthcentric conversations.

9Jul2013

supported

Posted in Momma Needs a minute... by ElaineMarie

given that my chosen profession is one based entirely in support, i know the impact good support can make in someone’s life.

when i think back critically on my personal timeline i can see that the most successful times in my life were those times of abundant support. and i’m not talking dollar signs success, i’m talking about feeling fulfilled. i’m talking about those times when you look in the mirror and say “you know what i’m really good at? LIFE.”

you have done that before right? someone? yes?

ahem.

well, i want to divert from the usual positive place that this blogspace resides in. explanation: this blog is my collection of happy. it really serves as a tool to remind me of the things i’m being successful at in my current life because i need it. i need the reminders or i will feel like a total failure in so many areas. i have those moments of self-doubt like whoa.

while it may not look like it on this blog, the truth is this past year of life has been pretty dang hard. actually, quite a number of years have been rough. i’ve determined that one of the reasons i’ve not been as successful in my current life is that i’m still not letting myself build a strong support network. and also, maybe i need to change my attitude about what success in my life will look like from here on out but mainly it’s because i just feel a lack of support.

and i feel that i’ve been lacking in supporting those around me. in short, i still don’t have a tribe. well, the tribe i have right now are busy individuals with families, just like me, and it can be really hard to squeeze in quality friend time. but then i see that other families have created their tribe so i don’t know that i really have that excuse. i think i put barriers up. i think i give myself excuses as to why i can’t do this or that and create an unsupportive frame of mind.

what does support mean to you?

i’ll tell you what it means to me: someone genuinely inquiring about your life and the things you’re going through. someone who tells you that your thoughts and feelings are valid, even if your support person does not see things the same way as you. someone who is there to listen and share even when times are rough, not just when life is peachy. someone who can show you empathy. someone who makes you feel you are worth their time. someone who lets you know by their simple actions that they like you as a person and think you’re worthwhile.

i’m working on becoming more self-supporting. i am finding, little by little, that in order for me to become more supportive of myself i have to extend it to others. if i focus only on meeting my own needs i become a self-centered, ego-driven mess. during the times of success in my life, i was not only receiving support but i was abundantly giving it away as well.

giving away your support is tricky. you have to find the right people to be your receivers, otherwise you’ll done-dry up. i’ve been in that space before. my successful times were those in which i had found {or in the early part of my life was simply blessed with the universe placing them in my life} relationships that were truly reciprocal. you also have to be a good receiver. and that’s where i’m struggling, i think.

support is clearly a big deal in my life. it’s my profession. it’s my savior. it’s my lifeline. it’s an area of life i spend a lot of time in and one that i know i need to do continuous work to maintain a healthy balance.

9Jul2013

daily moment

Posted in daily moment, doula work by ElaineMarie

gosh, i wish there would have been a bit of info about how you’re going to receive awesome the gifts from your clients for being their doula in my training. i wish i had taken a pic of getting to snuggle with a handsome little dude b/c that would have been my daily moment for sure but receiving this special gift is right up there. love it.

thank you universe!