weekending 42

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it’s boot weather. this weekend was very much out and about. friday is looking to be our family day this fall. we braved the homecoming crowd to take in the blues for smoke exhibit in the afternoon. this was a precursor to our friend’s performance there friday evening with Lonnie Holley. Both performances blew my mind but Lonnie gave me a new catch phrase that’s been stuck in my head: thumbs up to mother universe.

between the two wexner events we walked past a new little donut spot {literally named the little donut shop} and had to stop in for some tasty maple bacon goodness. mike got a samoa and darla got her standard sprinkles special. those last two pics are us as cheerleaders for the columbus marathon. this was my first time as a spectator at a marathon and it was more inspiring and entertaining than i thought it would be. that might be due to the pair of sideliners dressed up in the horse mask, followed by his friend clapping cups behind him up and down the road. it was fun to cheer on the runners.

i guess this is the only time of year we visit the wexner center since the last time we went was about a year ago. it’s a great way for me to make observations about darla’s cognitive progress, though. last year she didn’t really want anything to do with looking at the exhibit. this year she was just really motivated to look at only the things she wanted to take in, which is pretty wonderful in my book. no standardized tests needed here!

but it does make it a bit hard for mike and i to have a personal experience. luckily, the wexner offers free tours on thursdays so we can return again at a later date.

but what i mainly want to say about life thoughts from the weekend is how thankful i am to have this little family that runs around getting involved in so much life. i can let myself get pretty stressed out at times about the fact that laundry piles up, dishes don’t get done and there never seems to be enough time to clean up all the messes. and then i remember that’s a sign that i’m living my life. i’m not simply maintaining it. a clean house is life management, not life. we get out there. that may be our strongest area as parents up until this point, we get darla out for experiences. she’s done a lot in these short years. she’s learned to be the master of her own universe. she’s learned to seek out life. and for that i’m thankful.

daily moment

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taking a walk with my family on campus yesterday on our way to the blues for smoke exhibit at the wexner center. activities all together only happen about once a week so it was nice to look over and see all three of our shadows squished together as one.

week 42

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don’t you just love it when the week gets all it’s business out of the way by tuesday? our monday was a full, non-stop day of unschooling and then tuesday brought the first water birth i’ve supported. after that i was ready to take the rest of the week off.

this week has been entirely amazing. i don’t know what it is but fall brings about such a sense of peace for me. or maybe it is the acceptance that i’m really finding my groove in life. listen y’all, i’m really good at exploring the world with my little girl and i’m really good at supporting people while they have their babies. this is it for me. i’m finding a way to make this work. done deal. my life doesn’t look that great on paper right now { believe me. i just had to write it out on paper } but i’m really happy and fulfilled. i am so grateful.

unschooling: yay! learning is everywhere!! cards at the coffee shop, stopping at the neighborhood gardens to investigate what happens in the fall, and heading on a christopher columbus scavenger hunt were all a part of monday. we’re fortunate to have easy access to columbus themed learning activities. it’s kinda an annual thing for us. but this was the first time we took the tour of the santa maria. we did it on a whim and i’m glad we did b/c we learned on the tour that it’s going to be shut down for 2-3 years while the park gets renovated.

we also made an art project out of painting rocks for gilbert. i’m actually really impressed with darla and her care for gilbert thus far. she’s into it.

so that’s it from us for the week. we have lots of great things on the horizon that i’m looking forward to sharing in the right time. i’ll be bringing you word of a really great opportunity for the lovely females that read this here blog and some bits of personal news.

wishing you all a wonderful weekend! thanks for catching up on our week.

weekending 41

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this past weekend was kinda like we just lived this weekend over again. we traversed back to mike’s home town for this annual event, the last county fair in ohio for the year.

so let’s talk about the fish darla got at the fair. no, first let’s talk about the fair. ummmm it was fun and darla got a fish.

there, now we can talk about the fish.

you can see in that pic how happy she is to have her first pet. she’s really, really happy. i trusted darla to hold the fish on the way home. we made it to about 35 min in, less than 10 min from home, when i heard a pop from the back. i used jedi-like reflexes to scoop up the burst bag with just enough water left for the fish to {maybe?} survive. we sped along after that with darla yelling in the back and mike undesiring of pulling over to refill the water. this means i spent the last 10 min of our fun-filled day in complete anxiety that this fish was going to die in front of my eyes. this is a foreshadowing of how this animal is going to exist in our house, me thinks.

we made it. and gilbert winston falbert now lives in a big vase until i can find time to make the rounds to the thrift stores in hopes of finding an affordable tank. and i’m not entirely sure he’s eating correctly. and i can feel myself stressing about this fish already. i know i need to let it all go.

so i’m asking of you and the universe to help me to remember this is a learning experience. and that my girl is really happy to have her first pet and that’s what matters. she’s invested in this experience and has enjoyed taking care of him. she’s learning how to care for a goldfish thus far through youtube. we have plans on checking out some literature during our weekly library trip.  so this is a big opportunity for growth.

aaaaand, thankfully she’s really into dead things so when this fish dies in a week it’s not going to be a big deal.

week 41

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welcome to a week of unbelievably amazing ohio fall weather.

this is another one of those “look at all the cool things we do outside” posts because 1} i try very hard for you to like me and 2} we’re doing lots of awesome things outside. this is pretty much the one time of the year that living in the midwest is a benefit {sorry fellow midwesterners, you know it’s true}.

i’ve read that if you want to educate a child start with food because food is everything. we naturally fell into that a long time ago, as most families do. food IS everything. it’s certainly one of the first things a child comprehends completely. it’s pretty fantastic to see one subject weave itself so inextricably through one little person’s understanding of the world. darla is always motivated to help and learn when it comes to food. she really, REALLY loves to watch cooking and food prep videos on youtube. it’s easy for me to include her in food prep by saying “hey, we got a pineapple this week. let’s look up and watch a video on how to slice a pineapple.” and then she’ll be sitting there monitoring me to see if i do it correctly and giving me pointers. i’d say she’s involved with making the majority of the meals that take place in our house and i can only hope this will carry on into some independence and desire for deeper learning as she grows.

so, in short: if you’re looking to unschool or do some learning enrichment in the home have the kiddos be involved with your food. everything from procuring it, growing it, cleaning it, preparing it and disposing of it is a learning opportunity.

you can see we tackled a pumpkin and some apple picking this week. we roasted the seeds and turned that pumpkin into some bad ass pumpkin chili. the apple picking served as a learning experience for both of us. I had never been to a pesticide-free orchard before. it’s easy to say i don’t want my food to have pesticides applied to them but it’s a bit of a shock to realize that i’ve probably not had that much exposure to pesticide free food. this is a literal put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is situation. well, i’m happy we took on this experience. it took us quite some time to search through the trees to find apples that the pests hadn’t completely ruined. within 2 minutes of apple hunting i had decided that pesticide free food means i have to come to terms with having food stuffs that other organisms have already enjoyed a little. i’m surprisingly ok with that. it feels more like how it’s supposed to be. we’re not entitled to all the food, but we are entitled to share. when i talked to another mom there with her girls about the experience she agreed and said “that’s how you know it’s good. why would we want to put something into our bodies that nothing else wants to touch?”

on the personal side of things, mike and i passed the three years of marriage milestone. woo hoo! i’m going to be honest, it’s been a do-whatever-we-can-to-get-by-day-to-day kinda year for us. but sitting there on our anniversary i thought “yeah, i’d struggle through another year to be with this man.”  of course i would rather it be a year filled with success and winning the lottery, buying a road home and gettin’ the hell outta dodge kinda year but if it’s another year of eeking by then i’ll gladly do it. that’s my best and real description of love and dedication in marriage at this point. i wish i had something really romantic and inspiring to write for you, but i just have this dose of reality instead, which is, in its own way, kinda romantic.

so that second pic from the bottom is a game we invented this morning called hellen keller where we blindfold darla, spin her around and then challenge her to find different items while blind. it was really quite fun and i’m thinking this is going to be a great activity to have in my back pocket for the homebound winter months.

i hope you enjoyed the look at our week. i’m going to experiment with this week being a week + weekending edition. there is a lot going on with these beautiful fall days. thanks for checking in with us.

week 40

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dance parties are back. i’m hitting a stride with my doula work. and i’ve had a spike in my bacon intake. life is perfect.

well, not really perfect. some days it feels like my life is peachy keen and then other days it feels like, like…like adulthood just amounts to big messes that i don’t have energy to clean up, piles of broken things i don’t have the time to fix. i mean that literally and figuratively. some days it seems like i’m recovering from a string of things i forgot to do.

and that’s life. that’s just how it is. my path is about finding out how to live through these moments, this season.

the truth is i have no idea how i’m going to achieve my dreams and i’m learning to accept that vulnerability. all i know is i’m moving confidently in the direction of my dreams. and that’s all i’m responsible for. i don’t have to have all the pieces together yet. i just have to move. and i just have to groove. and i have to shimmy shake with my ambitions. because if i’m going to achieve some goals i’d like to have a little fancy footwork involved along the way.

so that’s what our week contained. steps forward in unschooling, steps forward in my doulaship, steps forward with living a sustainable and healthy existence. i’m learning to balance out my inner drive to take advantage of these warm days of getting out and about with the fact that sometimes we need to just chill inside even if it’s sunny and gorgeous. thus, the invention of windows. ha. i can feel my inner mammal preparing for the winter. i feel this need to be out and about because i’m really and thoroughly looking forward to hibernating.

although, i admittedly have a vision of wintertime bliss that has never been based in reality. my brain wants to tell me we’ll spend the winter curled up on the couch reading hours of books, watching movies and playing games next to the fire. and maybe that will happen. but you see, we don’t have a fireplace. so that tells me this vision of mine is not so realistic. i’ll probably make it through december before i start to feel like everything is covered with a thin layer of human funk and start wishing for warm days again.

why am i worrying about this? i don’t need to. it’s been 80 and october.

i was actually kinda lax about schooling this week. i just let darla do her own thing around the house most of the time. we only had one outing but it was a pretty fantastic one. i took darla over to the osu wetlands research area, a first time there for us. she and i sat very still and had a stare down with 3 deer before they went about doing their thing. i was impressed by d’s willingness to be quiet and take it in. and yes, i actually took her to a cemetery as an educational experience. we did some grave tracings and spent hours just exploring and talking. this fit in very well as an october activity. darla said “mom, i don’t think cemeteries are scary at all. i think they’re special.”

my weekend straddled a birth work workshop and my part-time gig. i’m feeling pretty exhausted from it all but it’s a good tiredness. i feel very fortunate to be able to do some continuing ed and to meet new birth lovers. it all made me feel very hopeful for the future.

and if i accomplished nothing else this week i figured out to conduct all future client interviews exclusively at Jeni’s locations. Yum!

week 39

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people, in my book the most important thing that happened in week 39 was that i gave myself bangs again. bangs! nothing else matters. bangs are a good fall + winter look for me.

doesn’t that look like a good week? life is busy but it seems busy with the things that are really important. i feel very connected to all the avenues i’m putting my effort into right now. it’s a grand feeling. by the way, i’m digging presenting life in a weekly format on here. i feel it allows me to tell our story in the ways i want. i also feel that it requires much less work.

i find myself living my days in amazement of all the ordinary and out-of-the-ordinary things transpiring. whether it’s watching darla ride her trike or visiting with friends that we haven’t seen in ages, it all seems ridiculously generous of the universe to bestow all this on us.

my week contained warm days running around to parks and outdoor destinations. i had a nice balance of friends and family.  i experienced free time and down time. i walked through prarie fields and city streets. i danced my calves off at a wedding. i say calves because they honestly feel like they are going to fall off my body. i got to hug and squeeze my wonderful, amazing friends and talk about how we all like to be in bed by 11pm now. I got to hug and squeeze my husband. I got to hug and squeeze my daughter.

i’m a person that very much values taking in new experiences. but i have to say, this weekend reminded me how important it is to revisit some of the things i’ve already seen before. visiting my old stomping grounds reminded me of all i’ve already experienced and gave me space to be thankful for that. i have a ritual every time we visit DC of stopping by the apartment where we first brought darla home as a newborn. that place means so much to me and in times past it’s been a mournful visit. this time just felt good. i feel deep emotion being there but it’s no longer marked with a pang to return back to a time gone by. it’s now pulsing with thankfulness that i’m even able to come glance up 7 stories into the air and remember a little baby rolling on floors.

i look back on the list of experiences from the past week and realize how important it all is. from the everyday-doings of the beginning of the week to the wedding bash at the end and i’m filled with the same amazement and thankfulness for both and everything in between. it’s an extraordinary existence to be able to sit down and play a game of pick-up sticks with my girl first thing in the morning. just as extraordinary as running around making the most of a big city weekend celebration. i used to think only the extravagant, grand-travel adventures we took were important.

it might be the bangs, but now i see that the quiet moments spent here in our home or out on daily errands are just as important, if not more. because that is my life. for now. and i celebrate that. maybe my life will be something different in 5 years as it certainly was 5 years past. but for now it is grocery lists, homeschool outings, prenatals & postpartums and the occasional out-of-town trip.

and i’m really, really happy to say this is my life right up there in those pictures.

week 38

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~week 38~

this may have been the week that darla finally started to get an understanding of the fact that her mom is a badass. i mean that in the most humble of ways.

i captured the exact moment in photo. that second one, where she’s looking up at me. you can see the pieces fitting together where she looks and knows “my mom is effing cool” or it might be something more like “i just farted…in a creek.” whatevs.

we spent a day creeking last week. it was a first for us. it blew her mind. ’nuff said. and to top it all off an OSU class joined towards the end and included darla in on their projects so she felt all kinds of big for her britches by the end of the day. it was perfect. i’m thanking the universe for this day.

and

i have to tell a little story. it’s a story about a mom who has been putting off telling her girl that said girl won’t be returning to preschool again this year. this mom is not procrastinating because she’s unsure or ashamed of homeschooling, in truth, she’s putting it off because she’s afraid of rejection. she’s been afraid her daughter will tell her that she doesn’t want to be at home with her mom and then this mom will feel her dreams dashed and feelings damaged.

ok, this mom is me.

standing in that creek that day, i decided to tell darla that we wouldn’t be doing school this year, or possibly any year soon. i explained that we would still hang out with friends and she would still learn but not in a school. i braced myself for her disappointment. i braced myself for her cry of independence.

but

she said “i know” in this very almost-grown-up voice. and then “schooling with you is better than being in a classroom.”

my heart jumped up into my throat. i felt relief rush over me. i felt it carried away with the cool current rushing around me feet.

she continued on to tell me that someday soon she would have to go away to college so she couldn’t stay with me forever. so, as far as i’m concerned she and i are on the same page with all this. although, i have this idea that her going to college is years away, i’m sure that she is right and that day will be upon us soon. in a blink. i can feel it all pushing onward just like the water in that creek. it’s funny how sometimes life can feel like its rushing on you like the river after a storm and then sometimes it dries up and slowly trickles by. But mostly, it flows on even and steady.

i’m so thankful to have this life and this girl.

these weeks go by and they are filled with more or less the same thing: running around exploring the world outside our home and creating some magical memories in our little corner of the universe. our household has a good balance going right now. i feel we’re on the verge of some changes but it is nice to experience the deep breath before the plunge. maybe it’s this transition from summer to fall. in a way it’s nice how summer lingers on a bit. the transition to fall always seems just a tiny bit gentler than winter to spring.

i’m happy to have this life. and i’m happy to share it here with you. i know i am lucky to have the opportunities cast at my feet everyday. thank you for being a part of that.