our week

a
small
collection
of moments
from our week

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^^^ crafting on the porch ^^^

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^^^ pollacking on the porch ^^^

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^^^ unschooling the franklin park conservatory ^^^

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^^^ “mom, i want our house to look just like this jungle!” ^^^

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^^^ nature walk treasure ^^^

 

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^^^ and i continued to grow a human ^^^

if this were a face-to-face convo this would be the point where i would deflect and say “let’s talk about how you’re doing” because i’m just kinda all over the place. the week was beautiful and i’m glad i snapped these photos of our outings and life because i can’t pull my head out of my pregnant ass sometimes. it’s so hard to focus on anything else other than getting this baby here.

i know my whole family is feeling stretched right now.  i look around and i just see all these humans that are stretched so thin. but maybe i’m projecting and seeing that everywhere because it’s how i’m feeling. i tried to really take it easy this week. and it was nice to stay at home a lot. darla did her own things, mostly on the front porch. i spent a lot of time there too soaking in the air and sunshine. soaking in the feelings of just being. but i cannot escape this encumbered feeling. it makes everything feel so heavy.

maybe i’m on the brink here because i feel like all i want to do for this weekend is walk and walk and walk until i can’t anymore. it’s that very animalistic feeling taking over because i feel like this body has to do something. i feel like the tigress pacing back and forth before i slink off to find a place of solitude. please send me good vibes for finding some time to work these things out of my body and mind over these next few days.

*wishing you all the best for the things you wish to work out over the weekend, whatever they may be*

hi all, please give us your vote for the week by clicking the vote for us icon below. thanks for your help!

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our week

i don’t know where these days are going.

it’s friday and i got up early to write out a little about our week and i really can’t remember much that has happened save for a few big events. we spend much of our time here at home these days and i fear i’ve not really been able to stay present while here. my mind seems hyper-focused on chores and organization and cooking and errands.

and it all seems so ordinary.

and i feel like that has taken up a lot of my brain space this week: reconciling with the fact that i’m going to lead an ordinary life.

i, like most of my generation, was ingrained with the idea that i was a special little flower and that i was going to go out and do great things in the world. i have genuinely, 100% honestly always believed that I was going to lead some out-of-the-ordinary life. mainstream life was not good enough for me.

but here’s what i see when i step back from myself:  31 years old, lives in ohio, full-time mom, drives a pt cruiser, listens to neil sedaka live in concert on the 60s station….

it’s so ordinary. it’s so vanilla and blah. it doesn’t feel like this was the life i was supposed to lead. it’s not how my life played out in my head. and it certainly doesn’t seem to measure up to the adventurous lives of my peer group before i got myself saddled with motherhood. 

and feeling that way feels terrible.

then i sit down here to this space and i start to take a look back at the weeks and i’m once again glad that i’m recording life here because when i scroll back through the days and weeks and months i see a whole mess of ordinary, every day beauty.  it’s not over-the-top exciting and most of it is mundane but there is so much beauty shining through this ordinary life.

and i feel a bit foolish that it took me SO LONG in my life to see that. i feel like even from my earliest days i’ve wanted to live a life different and more exotic than the one i have. i’ve wanted to be a completely different person. i’ve even survived much of these last few years by telling myself that this is just a little pit stop in my life and that i’ll be zooming off to great adventures before long.

but that is not guaranteed to me. nothing is. and what a waste of an ordinary life it would be if i never ended up in this spot able to see how beautiful even the dullest of moments here on earth are.

so, this week i sat around on my porch a lot, watching my child cut grass with a pair of scissors {seriously}. i cooked some meals for my family. i took my girl to the pool. i ran errands. and i spent a whole lot of time gazing at a growing belly.

it was thoroughly ordinary. and it was beautiful.

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* sending you all the best for a super, super moon weekend *

hi all, please give us your vote for the week by clicking the vote for us icon below. thanks for your help!

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our week

let’s just take a look at how the view to my week began:

morning view

yeah. yep.

and also these wonderful moments took place somewhere in there…
morning buddynursery shoppermother daughter waterfall darla + waterfalldarla bikepainting project garden paintinglunch date  darla pottery darla at the store

i’m exhausted. this could be because: weather is warm and life is full, my child is an endless pit of energy, i am growing a human, and finally, i am not an endless pit of energy. i’m more like one of those shallow rubbermaid containers of energy. you know, the kind that fit under the bed?

mmmmmm bed.

i guess it means we’re doing life right. i really do love keeping busy. i’m not always the best at turning around and taking a good look at all that we’ve accomplished with the day or the week. i tend to focus forward and get wrapped up in that never-ending to-do list, leaving myself feeling consistently overwhelmed. these friday posts help me take a look back at all that was done. and most weeks when i look back i see a much better balance of fun, work and learning than i do in the everyday. i probably should start some kind of gratitude ritual with darla at the end of the day to review all we’ve experienced. that would help. i’ll add that to my to-do list.

i thought i was going to get a full and separate unschooling post done with this week but i don’t have the brain power to extricate that out from our regular life doings. plus, i feel that since we’ve been doing this for a full year now i’ve finally fit it into my brainspace that unschooling is the integration of everyday life and learning and not separate times or days i set aside. i have done a better job of not being focused on regimented, scheduled unschooling. it’s just part of our life. we wake up and if it’s beautiful out i say “we’ll find another time to do the chores. let’s get outside” and we learn outside. if it’s rainy we stay in and learn inside or from our errands around town. and if it’s a long, cold winter that breaks our souls, we learn from the powerful world of netflix…

we took an adventure day this week that resulted in a trip to a waterfall, picnic and stroll along the river.  multiple visits to the nursery, and helping with our own garden provided ample learning opportunities for D. we started an art project this week for the garden that i hope will help us bring some bright color out into our growing space. i can’t seem to get enough color into my life these days. i want to paint ALL THE THINGS!

*that’s all from us for the week. sending you love and butt pinches for a wonderful weekend!*

you may have noticed a new little button over on the sidebar of MomJeanz, maybe not. so i’m going to point it out over there. see? well, i signed up for a baby blog directory so other bloggers can find and connect with MomJeanz. pretty nifty! if you could click on that button when you visit MomJeanz it casts a vote for my blog and helps the blog gain more exposure. I’ll be including it in my friday posts from now on so even if you can only give me one vote a week, or whenever you remember, it will still help. thanks for reading and helping this momma out!
columbus birth arts

MY week

y’all, i’m going to talk about alone time.

these last couple weeks i’ve been craving alone time. i think it correlates to my nesting and urge to get things accomplished. it’s left me wondering if other women experience this deep need for alone time in their last trimester as well? is it a part of birth preparation? or is this constant desire for a bit of solitude in my day part of my personality?

well, i got what i asked for. D spent the week with my parents and mike started a new job. he’ll probably put double the hours in at this first week at his new job than what he’s been working for the past two years. so in a short span of time i went from having people all up in my grill to being quite alone, quite a lot.

i was busy. i was productive. and i wasn’t always alone thanks to the many appointments, meetings and friendly dates i crammed into this week. but this week did leave me feeling lonely and above all else, BORED.

the week made me take it down a notch in my desire to be alone with my to-do list. because while it was nice to get things accomplished…accomplishments are boring. i look back through my snapshots of the week and see a lack of life. it’s nice to have the moments when i can sit down and eat a snack on the couch because no one is looking, or to get my new green babies potted, to take walks and to get the bathroom painted, but without my family these things mean a lot less. maybe this week was about learning that squeezing these check lists in to all the chaos of family life is a pretty fantastic blessing. i’m glad to have a chance to come back around on that before life gets a whole lot more hectic. i know i’ll be singing a different tune in a few months so i need to put these thoughts and feelings down here now so i can pull it up when i’m at my limits.

and look at that rad little bit of life in that first photo!!! it was nice to remind myself i was never truly alone. and it was so lovely to see my littlest love for the first time. that was by far the most important thing that happened this week. part of me was sad that darla wasn’t there for it and that mike was at work but part of it felt right. i got to call darla up and tell her the baby has her nose. a nose that i’ll be able to give lots of kisses in a few short months. until then i’m happy to have these pics to gaze upon. even if the last one is pretty creepy because the babe has one eye open. must be a metallica fan. i know an uncle that is going to be happy about that…

 baby ultrasound minty paint
grapefruit snack
 baby bump on a walk
new green babies

*thanks for reading this week. i hope you had a good one. sending you my best for a lovely mother’s day weekend. please read on for a little favor that i need to ask you. because you are one of my favorite readers ;-) *

you may have noticed a new little button over on the sidebar of MomJeanz, maybe not. so i’m going to point it out over there. see? well, i signed up for a baby blog directory so other bloggers can find and connect with MomJeanz. pretty nifty! if you could click on that button when you visit MomJeanz it casts a vote for my blog and helps the blog gain more exposure. I’ll be including it in my friday posts from now on so even if you can only give me one vote a week, or whenever you remember, it will still help. thanks for reading and helping this momma out!
columbus birth arts

week 48

life moments from week 48

 photo 88EABED2-4D7F-4A4B-BDC8-14E8900A8FBE-12736-000009D88E4B6DF6_zpse153dc4d.jpgsnow angels

 photo 0FAAC0A2-A8FC-4CE1-962B-D1B68EACDDED-12736-000009D8929BDC21_zps4880f765.jpgprepping a tasty bean soup

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you’ll notice a theme to this week. it’s the week snow officially entered our lives for the final season of the year. it’s here and it brings mixed feelings. i honestly love snow and have always loved winter. however, i am not a fan of how modern man interacts with this season.

i see winter as a time of natural introspection. i see it as a time when the outside world is supposed to shut down and things should turn inward. these months are meant for quiet reflection next to a fire, snuggled up with loved ones telling stories or reading books. i wish everyone would just make the decision to stop going out into the flurries and hunker down for winter. but that’s not going to happen in this world anymore. not when local economies are now entwined with business that takes place in areas of the globe that may never see snowfall.

but i’ll do my best this winter to hold the season in the way i see fit for me. this means warm drinks, layered socks, russian novels, and days spent indoors.

i hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving and good luck with this kick-off to winter, even though solstice is still a few weeks away. i think it’s going to be a long one this year.

week 40

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dance parties are back. i’m hitting a stride with my doula work. and i’ve had a spike in my bacon intake. life is perfect.

well, not really perfect. some days it feels like my life is peachy keen and then other days it feels like, like…like adulthood just amounts to big messes that i don’t have energy to clean up, piles of broken things i don’t have the time to fix. i mean that literally and figuratively. some days it seems like i’m recovering from a string of things i forgot to do.

and that’s life. that’s just how it is. my path is about finding out how to live through these moments, this season.

the truth is i have no idea how i’m going to achieve my dreams and i’m learning to accept that vulnerability. all i know is i’m moving confidently in the direction of my dreams. and that’s all i’m responsible for. i don’t have to have all the pieces together yet. i just have to move. and i just have to groove. and i have to shimmy shake with my ambitions. because if i’m going to achieve some goals i’d like to have a little fancy footwork involved along the way.

so that’s what our week contained. steps forward in unschooling, steps forward in my doulaship, steps forward with living a sustainable and healthy existence. i’m learning to balance out my inner drive to take advantage of these warm days of getting out and about with the fact that sometimes we need to just chill inside even if it’s sunny and gorgeous. thus, the invention of windows. ha. i can feel my inner mammal preparing for the winter. i feel this need to be out and about because i’m really and thoroughly looking forward to hibernating.

although, i admittedly have a vision of wintertime bliss that has never been based in reality. my brain wants to tell me we’ll spend the winter curled up on the couch reading hours of books, watching movies and playing games next to the fire. and maybe that will happen. but you see, we don’t have a fireplace. so that tells me this vision of mine is not so realistic. i’ll probably make it through december before i start to feel like everything is covered with a thin layer of human funk and start wishing for warm days again.

why am i worrying about this? i don’t need to. it’s been 80 and october.

i was actually kinda lax about schooling this week. i just let darla do her own thing around the house most of the time. we only had one outing but it was a pretty fantastic one. i took darla over to the osu wetlands research area, a first time there for us. she and i sat very still and had a stare down with 3 deer before they went about doing their thing. i was impressed by d’s willingness to be quiet and take it in. and yes, i actually took her to a cemetery as an educational experience. we did some grave tracings and spent hours just exploring and talking. this fit in very well as an october activity. darla said “mom, i don’t think cemeteries are scary at all. i think they’re special.”

my weekend straddled a birth work workshop and my part-time gig. i’m feeling pretty exhausted from it all but it’s a good tiredness. i feel very fortunate to be able to do some continuing ed and to meet new birth lovers. it all made me feel very hopeful for the future.

and if i accomplished nothing else this week i figured out to conduct all future client interviews exclusively at Jeni’s locations. Yum!