darla dancing in the rain because it will help her grow.
love.
Tag Archives: love
weekending
exciting news: this was our last week without our salty sailor. he’s coming home in days. DAYZ!
we had a picnic and books on the front porch
had lots of citrus-centric foods and made use of our citrus stash
made good use of the arcade games in the laundromat. is that a kill screen, darla? look out billy mitchell.
(yes, laundromat. i’m not going into the basement until further notice)
spent the wash cycle playing scrabble at Luck Bros.
this is it, the last of just-us-gals weekends for a while. there might be some extra co-sleeping this week until papa comes home. troof.
finding the words
i know a good many of you have probably been wondering about that second birth experience. it’s taken me a couple of days to get life back in a rhythm, find time to write, and process the whole experience.
i wish i could give you a birth story, but it’s not my story to tell. so i will tell you what i can. i will tell you what’s in my heart.
i write and gravitate a lot towards natural birth. i believe in the power of mommas bodies. i believe in the wonderful dance mothers and their babies do to bring a new life into the world that we have termed labor. i know that i may come across as if i think mothers who choose natural birth are powerful she-woman warriors, because i do.
but now i have learned and witnessed another kind of power, another kind of strength that i hadn’t given its due credit until now. i haven’t had a ton of experience and i think somehow the universe knew which window to open and let me see through for my second experience. to give me more perspective and a well-rounded mindset moving forward. the last line from the excerpt i posted last week keeps ringing in my head: mothers and nature always find a way.
i’ve known all along that being a support person means supporting all kinds of births be they natural, interventive or surgical. even though i have my own personal philosophies, my biggest philosophy is that every couple gets to make their own birth decisions and deserve to be supported through those decisions. i just haven’t had a chance to actually practice what i preach too much.
i’ve now seen the kind of strength it takes to be able to reset and reconfigure when things don’t all go according to plan, because more often than not it’s not going to. i’ve seen the strength it takes for a couple to quickly shift from one path to another. i have to say that i’m a very stubborn person and i don’t know if i would have been able to recalculate with as much grace and acceptance as what i saw this past week. i would have thrown a stubborn aries fit. i would have had an emotional breakdown. i am very lucky neither of these parents were like me. mothers who can shift and accept a different path to birth their babies are powerful she-woman warriors, too. mothers find a way.
i’ve seen the strength it takes to face complications with positivity.
i was reminded that i am going to be very privileged to witness couples at their best. i don’t have a ton of births under my belt but i’m kinda getting the feeling that couples are at their best in labor. at least i hope. maybe i’ve just been lucky to see two great couples give birth. but i can say that i think i will be hard-pressed to find a husband and birth partner more supportive than what i witnessed last week. i’m willing to keep doing this to find out though…
to my friends: thank you a million times over for allowing me to support you through your labor. your fortitude astounded me. your love and support for one another was amazing. i know how lucky i am to have been there. i just have a feeling that starts at my core and radiates out to every fiber of my being that everything will be ok with time. these early complications will fall away and be but memories.
your beautiful baby is one lucky girl to get to have you as parents. aaannd i’m already jealous of her hair. i’ll show her how to shake it one day ;-)
all my love and admiration, your doulette
dynasty dress up
and how.
darla found my dynasty clothes = instant dress-up session.
dear salty sailor,
sometimes i get so sad that you are missing moments like these. darla was helping me put away laundry. she was doing a good job. since most of the laundry was hers she was capable of putting it all away and took great pleasure in helping me. she came across one of my shirts, stripped down and put it on declaring “i want to wear this and be just like you.” then she made up a little help mommy song as she went about her chore. i love her and i love these moments. i love those pigtails that are crooked from boisterous play. this kind of lifestyle is very challenging at times but i’m so lucky for these bits. and i’m overcome with sadness that you are not here for it. i’m sorry if i haven’t caught enough of them for you.
here’s just a few things that have tumbled out of the girl’s mouth lately: she looked over her shoulder the other day at her bum and said “mommy, don’t i have such a big booty?” I was explaining how something works and she said “i really catch your drift mom.” the last one that i remember was right before we went over for dinner with the neighbors. Darla wanted to bring her blanket so I was making sure she understood that if she took it over she couldn’t be territorial and had to be willing to share. I said “i’m afraid you will get upset and cry if one of the girls wants to play with your blanket. how do you feel about that?” and she looked me dead in the eye and replied “no, i wouldn’t do that. i would feel very proud if someone played with it.” true to her word, she took it over and it wasn’t an issue.
we miss you so much. thank you for the life you provide us.
love love lovesick love,
wifey
dear salty sailor,
i don’t really know where to begin. so i guess we’ll start with the basics:
you are gone. i am here. i am lonely. i’m missing you. darla is here. she makes me happy. she also makes me want to stick my head under water. she misses you. she doesn’t miss you. she’s fickle. she’s three.
that about covers it.
bye!
i kid. i kid.
i’m sitting here next to a little girl who fell asleep watching The Triplets of Belleville. I’m happy to say she adores the movie and it’s gotten me a’thaynkin’: we should keep The Illusionist in mind as a present for some occasion. i’d love to have it in the library for her since it was the first movie she saw in the theater. we’re still pretending we didn’t take her to see Bruno, right?
life threw me some curveballs this week but i’m happy to say things are all working out. all is continuing to be very steady and even keel. i know this should be a good thing but you know me; i’m getting antsy.
luckily i have all our summer travel planning to keep me busy. it is going to be great. this summer just ain’t gonna stop. i have high hopes for some memory making with Darla. it’s amazing to me some of the stuff she pulls out of her memory now that she can convey it to me. i’m afraid the girl remembers more than we counted on. you’re going to have to re-hide your candyland stash of money.
we received our valentine’s from you yesterday in the mail and it made my heartache. i think one of the really good things about you being gone is we get to connect through our writing again. i think it’s one of the reasons we fell in love. i certainly was floored by your way with words and still am. i’m very thankful you are able to email this work tour. i’m hoping it will keep us close this time around.
also, i’m sorry about that michael landon thing. you’re right. he did have big ears.
you have perfect ears and i love you,
wife
lovely little valentine
love’s day in our house this morning:
yummy sprinkle french toast and lots of love for breakfast.
love vibes to you all today.
spoiling the christmas surprise
i had planned on keeping this a surprise but i’m way, WAY too excited about what claudia has posted so far to keep mum any longer. we’ll just consider it another sneak peek.
here’s claudia’s work on our family christmas photo session thus far. she was pretty much the bees knees. i look forward to posting more of her work and more about spoonful records at a later date.
love letter to my husband
ok this is actually a post about a hypothetical love letter that you have written to me. (hey, you knew i was self-centered when you married me) oh, but it’s already been written by someone else. by your favorite band.
i finally listened to the words of “dear wife” the other day and i found myself crying. i know. i know. it’s not just because i’m pre mens. well maybe. but i feel like this song was written about us and especially appropriate come the end of your work tour. maybe there is a little bit of michael wright in jim james.
soooo can i just pretend from here on out that it’s a song you wrote for me. or a poem. a sea shanty, if you will?
please?
sweet, sweet, dear where are you?
I am out here somewhere working through the days
I imagine you are livin life,
but I must explain..
dear wife, I miss you always
aint it strange how quickly things can change.
I’ll be out here wanting you
you’ll be out there wanting me
and I’ll be back there runnin’?
you’ll, you’ll be in here lovin me.
(solo)
sweet, sweet, dear how are ya?
well the nail of your kindness hits my brain.
when you pounded it in with such violence,
I must exclaim..
dear wife I love you always
aint it great how quickly things can change
I’ll be out here wanting you
you’ll be out there wanting me
and I’ll be back there runnin’?
you’ll, you’ll be in here lovin me
I’ll be out here wanting you
you’ll be out there wanting me
and I’ll be back there runnin’?
you’ll, you’ll be in here lovin me
You’ll be in here lovin me
Dear Salty Sailor,
hello, love. i’ve gone to california on a big jet plane. i’m sending this off to you west coast time and sorry if i don’t get to post very much the rest of the weekend. i wanna try to stay a little detached from the computer and so much has happened already this week that i think a separate cali post will be in order.
i’m so excited for some west coast friend time! but i already miss darla. and i miss you. our family really needs to spend some time exploring california. and the rest of the country. and the world. mmkay.
this week’s edition of Darla says:
“You’re the mustard and I’m the hotdog, mom.” in reference to her hot dog tee she wore that day.
Staring wistfully at the ceiling, she said “I wish i was a smoke detector.”
whilst riding in the car she started on a ramble and I tuned out. But once it was apparent that she wasn’t talking to me I tuned back in( I know it should be reversed but sometimes that’s how I do). She was recounting her incident at firefly when she fell out of the bounce house, “and then I bounced myself so high I bounced right out of the bounce house. I fell really hard and hurt my head. It was the worst day of my life.” I started cracking up and asked her who she was talking to and she said “the crickets.”
while painting she said “this painting is really good arting.”
at the apple orchard i had to put a wristband on her so the place could keep track of who paid. when i affixed it to her she said “oh yeah, i love that kinda thang!” in this twangy southern accent.
bridget was doing yoga and while she was in downward dog bridget asked “darla what am i doing right now.” darla replied “dog standing.”
we had a kinda of challenging trip to the short north. darla didn’t want to hold hands with either of us so i was giving her a talkdown that she would need to either hold hands or else be carried. she very calmly clasped both her hands together in front of her and walked in a perfectly straight line. cousin and i both burst out laughing and i let her go ahead and walk herself down the street b/c that was a pretty smart move on her part. we moved on to basil for dinner. she got thai sauce all over her hands, and face and everywhere. even on my back. i was sticking to the booth. she looked at her hands and said “i have sticky hands. i’m a tree frog. i’m a one-eyed tree frog.” she then proceeded to stare her one-eye over the top of the booth at a couple having a full on make out sesh on their date. i was trying to get her to sit down and be calm and she started pushing up against me and saying “mom, i need my tiiiiiiiime!” needless to say we tried to make a hasty exit.
on to some pics. it’s the prettiest autumn i can remember so you can expect lots of pituresque fall scenes from us in the next few weeks. then it won’t be long before you’re home! only a month to go. it’s amazing to me sometimes to think i’ve finally gotten so used to this that a month without you doesn’t seem like such a long time.
we’ve been doing a lot of funny faces for our meal times. darla realy digs it. 
that’s all for now my bearded beau. sending you some extra love since now it has to travel an extra 2244 miles. or maybe it will be smart and turn around and go the other direction. hmmm. well i’ll let you figure out the love path since YOU’RE the navigational expert.
loving you,
wife former fwife
momjeanz 