finding the words

i know a good many of you have probably been wondering about that second birth experience. it’s taken me a couple of days to get life back in a rhythm, find time to write, and process the whole experience.

i wish i could give you a birth story, but it’s not my story to tell. so i will tell you what i can. i will tell you what’s in my heart.

i write and gravitate a lot towards natural birth. i believe in the power of mommas bodies. i believe in the wonderful dance mothers and their babies do to bring a new life into the world that we have termed labor.  i know that i may come across as if i think mothers who choose natural birth are powerful she-woman warriors, because i do.

but now i have learned and witnessed another kind of power, another kind of strength that i hadn’t given its due credit until now. i haven’t had a ton of experience and i think somehow the universe knew which window to open and let me see through for my second experience. to give me more perspective and a well-rounded mindset moving forward. the last line from the excerpt i posted last week keeps ringing in my head: mothers and nature always find a way.

i’ve known all along that being a support person means supporting all kinds of births be they natural, interventive or surgical. even though i have my own personal philosophies, my biggest philosophy is that every couple gets to make their own birth decisions and deserve to be supported through those decisions. i just haven’t had a chance to actually practice what i preach too much.

i’ve now seen the kind of strength it takes to be able to reset and reconfigure when things don’t all go according to plan, because more often than not it’s not going to. i’ve seen the strength it takes for a couple to quickly shift from one path to another. i have to say that i’m a very stubborn person and i don’t know if i would have been able to recalculate with as much grace and acceptance as what i saw this past week. i would have thrown a stubborn aries fit. i would have had an emotional breakdown. i am very lucky neither of these parents were like me. mothers who can shift and accept a different path to birth their babies are powerful she-woman warriors, too. mothers find a way.

i’ve seen the strength it takes to face complications with positivity.

i was reminded that i am going to be very privileged to witness couples at their best. i don’t have a ton of births under my belt but i’m kinda getting the feeling that couples are at their best in labor. at least i hope. maybe i’ve just been lucky to see two great couples give birth.  but i can say that i think i will be hard-pressed to find a husband and birth partner more supportive than what i witnessed last week. i’m willing to keep doing this to find out though…

to my friends: thank you a million times over for allowing me to support you through your labor. your fortitude astounded me. your love and support for one another was amazing. i know how lucky i am to have been there. i just have a feeling that starts at my core and radiates out to every fiber of my being that everything will be ok with time. these early complications will fall away and be but memories.

your beautiful baby is one lucky girl to get to have you as parents. aaannd i’m already jealous of her hair. i’ll show her how to shake it one day ;-)

all my love and admiration, your doulette

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2 thoughts on “finding the words

  1. And thank Goddess for medical science and highly skilled people who know what to do when nature doesn’t do what we want.

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