why yes it is.
the lovely ladies of ornamental things sent me a pair of these cutie-poos that i’m offering as my first giveaway. answer the question below in the comments section and i’ll draw a random winner on friday.
question:
what’s your opinon of young girls having their ears pierced?
this is darla. she’s naked. she’s naked most of the time. i’m sorry if it offends anyone that she is frequently pictured without a top or a bottom or a top and bottom. despite the oodles of cute and fashionable clothes that come into this house, the girl likes to go au natural.
i just don’t have it in me to enforce the clothes rules yet. i know the window is closing on us and the time for her to be covered properly will be here very soon. but i just can’t start it yet. i want to get through at least one more summer of saying “ok, if you want to take your shirt off go ahead.”
she has no shame or discomfort about her body. i desperately want to extend that for as long as possible. i truly believe that a positive body image starts in infancy and toddlerhood. my hope is that the freedom to run around naked will have instilled a pride and love for her body that will last until she is older.
yes, i’m talking about when she’s a lovesick teenager. sigh. those thoughts of preparing your wee girl for womanhood do start early.
since summer has landed about 3 months early this year, please brace yourself for bare shoulders, exposed tummies, and probably a knicker shot or two because this little girl just cannot be contained. no clothes or mommas words will restrain her and i couldn’t be happier about that.
like millions of others across america for the past 4+ decades, the lorax has been a big part of our home. it holds a special place in my heart in regards to darla’s upbringing thus far. i like trees and everyone likes trees and dr. seuss did our society a great service by writing the story of the lorax.
i took darla to see the new lorax movie this morning. it just so happened that we were the only viewers in the theater so we got to enjoy the movie in a special more loud and interactive way. this simply means i didn’t have to worry about reminding darla to be quiet during the film. the universe knew what it was doing once again because, to my delight, darla often spoke lines from the original movie and book throughout the movie. the current movie is loosely based on the original and doesn’t rely heavily on rhyme. i was very happy that she remembered such lines. Upon the first introduction of the once-ler she hopped out of her seat, put her hands on her hip and said “he’s crazy with greed” at the movie screen. ohhhh how i love her.
unsurprisingly, i prefer the original versions but i think this one did a good job of building on top of something that was already pretty great. I’m glad we went to be reminded by a couple of things by our old pal, The Lorax. the first being: “a tree falls the way it leans. be careful of the way you lean.” the second line that got to me (that’s code for made me cry, again. for about the 4th time in the movie) was “it doesn’t matter what it is. it only matters what it could become.” i hope to hold these new lines as dearly to me as the tried and true “unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing’s going to get better. it’s not.”
it really is a goal of mine this year to make our household further the steps toward earth friendliness. i hope to get my little sapling more involved with learning about trees, plants and all growing things. i need to do more than just show her videos and read her books. i need to make sure we plant and sow and tend. it has to happen. new goal for the year: plant a tree with darla.
many of you are asking “your momness, why do you blog?”
we don’t lead extraordinary, interesting lives. i don’t have any skills or expertise i can divulge. heck, i don’t really even write that well and i surely don’t remember my 10th grade grammar skills AT ALL. Sorry Mr. Bebe.
what am i doing?
well, i can tell you that i DIDN’T start this blog to tell you that i’m the best parent out there, that i love my life as a full-time-mom and that i would never, ever, ever in a trillion years change it. i didn’t start writing to brag about darla’s beauty, brains and brawn – well, actually i did a little bit – and i’m not going to tell you she’s perfect or a little bundle of blessings all the time. because none of that is true.
i like to think i paint a pretty accurate picture of how parenting and life goes around here – it’s mostly good but sometimes can be harrowing and frustrating and lonely. sometimes i can’t believe how fortunate i am to be living this life and then other times i’m screaming into the own insides of my brain that there has to be more than this, there has to be another way.
i think that most of the time i’m a good parent. i have moments of being a terrible parent, really just sucky, but then i also have days when i am an excellent mother. days where I am a mothering superhero. and i think the same goes for darla. she’s a little girl with a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. when she is good she is very, very good and when she is bad she is horrid.
aren’t most of us experiencing our parenting like this? why would i want to paint it in a light that would make others feel like they must be doing something wrong? i’m not trying to perpetuate the parenting guilt that flows freely through our society. i like to say that i love being a mom but i dislike parenting. that’s just how it is. it’s never-ending. and i’m not going to delude myself that i love it just to get through it. i’m just going to get through it by never loosing the humor of it all and having a few cocktails along the way.
but i didn’t start writing to be a crusader for truth or for “keeping it real.”
the truth is simple: the blog makes me feel better about myself. it’s a very shallow reason if you think about it shallowly. but since i’ve started blogging i’ve started looking at my life in a new way. i think i “see” my life a little more. i pay extra attention to detail. i’m more focused on the good times and serene moments.
i want to create a beautiful existence for my family. i want accomplishments. i want quiet, subdued peace. i want adventure and barbaric yawping! i think the simple act of getting the creative juices flowing helps to permeate all other areas of my life. it’s given me focus. it makes me feel accomplished and connected in a way that full-time momming just doesn’t. maybe i’m terrible or broken for saying that but as a semi-intelligent adult i don’t get all my my needs and desires fulfilled by being a mom.
it’s about me. it always comes down to that. what can i say. i’ve told you 100 times that i’m self-centered….
the bigger question is why are you reading it?
and thanks by the way. for reading. i’ve always like you, ya know. you’ve got that certain spark :)
disclaimer: actually no one has asked me why i’m blogging. i just made that up.
in the spirit of “yes parenting” i threw a small mardi gras party here last night for darla and our burkeybuns clan. it was an all-you-can-eat-junkfood night. the kiddos were in heaven. adam’s first words when he came through the door were “we came over to your house to eat just junkfood.”
just look how excited those kids are to stuff their faces!
and it didn’t seem to affect a little girl who wanted to fall asleep in her kitty cat bed.
i’ve decided we’ll give up sweets and sodas (for mom, darla doesn’t have sodas except rare occasions like fat tuesday) for lent. i think the practice of denying oneself some indulgences would be a good thing for our household to get back to. darla seems pretty ok with concept of no sweets until easter. as of now. she asked me this morning about some candy sitting on a shelf: “mommy, can i have some of that candy in my easter basket?”
wish us luck. so good so far but i know it’s only the first day. there’s still 39 days to give in and just shove chocolate in my single-parenting face.
ok, a lot of things happened that i had no control over but most of the time i like to keep myself in denial. fun with packing peanuts and markers created a little more work for me this week but it was worth it. clearly. also, being the mom of the kid who wouldn’t climb out of the washing machine in the library was pretty awesome. sometimes it’s just whatever gets us through the day.
i think letting go of the control has been the pardest hart (reverse that) of parenting for me. it’s something i have to work on everyday in my parenting and other areas of life. it’s all a work in progress, right? RIGHT?
also, i definitely was NOT in control when that whole bag of doritos disappeared into my belly.
well, ok, semi-sequestered.
the first reason being it was freaking cold.
the second was some much-needed momma reality check time with my daughter.
our first week without dad was a rough one given that darla got sick and required an extreme extra amount of attention at the time when i was now getting used to handling it all by myself again. timing, you are a sneaky snake and i don’t like you’re dirty tricks!
but it turned out to be a good thing for us. it helped me to slow down and spend a lot of time with her. extra time that i’m sure she needed to readjust. i take darla for granted sometimes because she seems to be unfazed by so many things that i assume she will pick up on our life shifts and adapt. for the most part she does and when she doesn’t i tend to be hard on her. i know that i need to give her some room to be a child and adjust at her own pace. it can just be really hard for me to remember when i’m trying to juggle the single-parent thing. it’s one of the many areas of my parenting with which i’m struggling.
so darla’s sickness was a blessing in disguise. it slowed us down. it led to more games, books, movies, cuddles. we had more conversations than we’ve had in a while. it’s nice that she and i can gab back and forth now.
it also showed me that if i can learn to let my expectations go she can be so very good. sometimes it can be frustrating because she seems to be really good for me at home and then with an audience she acts out. i want her to be able to behave even when she has the excitement of others around. but that’s just how she is.
and last week i came to a realization: i don’t base my child’s value as a human being on how well-behaved or well-mannered she is. i need to stop worrying and caring if other people are going to base their evaluation of her on just that. there are many that do. sometimes it’s strangers and sometimes it is people closer but in my opinion they are the ones that just don’t get it.
darla is wildly imaginative, playful, happy, loving and engaging. she will march up and talk to anyone. most of the time it’s inappropriate things like telling every table in the french restaurant about her sores that turned into scabs and fell off. but she’s not afraid to put herself out there and i love that about her so much. i love that she’s not scared. i want to foster these qualities because i think the fear of being who you are is one of the worst afflictions to our society.
so i’m hoping to take more time for the remainder of this winter for quiet days in the house, just she and i. when we can. there’s a lot of growing that she and i have to do together.
and…then again…this might just be a big rationalization of why it was awesome to stay in my pajamas all day for 5 days straight…
mikey’s only been gone a week and i already feel like putting my head through a wall.
three is a lot whinier than two.
momma is losing her grip and her patience. it’s clear i need a new strategy. i’ve got my daily dose of peaceful parenting tips coming in from the interwebs but i’m thinking i need to add some more parenting books to my collection.
has anyone read positive discipline or dr. sears’ discipline book? suggestions? any recommendations or strong drinks you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
thanks a mil.
one of our coincidental D activities for last weekend was Disney on Ice.
holy hell.
i knew what i was getting into a little bit due to a friend’s similar experience but i definitely wasn’t prepared for the whirlwind of emotions that is Disney on Ice.
i don’t really know where to begin. i won’t waste time on the annoying parking situation because that was a given. so, i’ll jump straight to the fact that before we could even sit down i shelled out $30 on a plush ariel doll for darla. in all fairness, i chose the doll because i thought she’d be able to hug it throughout the performance and that it would offer up some form of distraction when she got antsy. this plan worked. plus i had to make good on my promise that i’d buy her something special to get her past those guys hawking annoying light up wands outside. gawd, i felt like a sucker.
we got seated late. so after stumbling down dark stairs and bothering the overweight family to haul themselves out of their seats so we could squeeze past, we had to make a hasty arrangement of who was going to sit where, passing out popcorn and making sure that effing overpriced plushie had an ok seat on darla’s lap.
the first 20 minutes of the show was pure bliss. girls were happy. entranced. delighted. popcorn-fed. disney-fied zombies. i even got into the excitement of seeing the magic reflected on darla’s face.
then the spell broke. darla lost interest, started looking around and realized people had refreshments other than popcorn. she was hungry. she was starving. she said she needed food right away. luckily, intermission was upon us.
i took her to get food but under the condition that she go to the bathroom while we were out so we wouldn’t have to cause the happy-meal family any more trouble. then we forged through the crowds to concessions.
oh the crowds. 4-year-olds with pacifiers. 5-year-olds in strollers. my brother-in-law sat next to a middle-aged couple with no kids in tow. wtf?
we arrived at concessions and i checked just once to see if the beer taps were open that day. i wouldn’t have, but i was thinking about it. alas, they were not up and running. darla declared she wanted only peanuts. i tried to reason that if she was so starving she needed something more substantial than peanuts. NO. PEANUTS.
we got peanuts. i didn’t dispute because they were the cheapest option.
back to our seats we filed, late again. i sat in a bath of cynicism as i watched ice dancers with FML written all across their faces. you could tell they all abhorred their existence on the ice. i think every time someone attempted a lutz or salchow they ended on their ass, furthering my suspicion that they were all drunk.
my critical state-of-mind was reaching an all time high when the entire cast came out to perform “it’s a small world after all” and there was a noticeable lack of any black or jewish representation. everyone knows walt was a raging anti-semite and xenophobe but this is 2012, people. if you’re going to include holland then you got to put at least one country from the continent of africa in there and representation from one of the oldest cultures in the world.
but then those bastards put mickey in an emblazoned hot air balloon to float above me and i had to give in. all my cynicism broke down as they started to play “when you wish upon a star.”
a tear sprang to my eye as i watched darla’s face lit by the indoor fireworks. for, no matter how corny and over-the-top it was, disney remains the ever positive voice urging us:
when you wish upon a star,
makes no difference who you are,
anything your heart desires,
will come to you
hi. how was your monday? i hope it got off on a good foot.
ours didn’t. it got started off on foot, and hand, and mouth. yep, poor girl woke up with hand, foot, and mouth disease. she’s taking it in stride, though. the doc even commented on how unfazed darla seemed by her sickness. see, here she is in her super hero cape from aunt colleen. she’s showing she’s tough and gonna kick this virus’ butt!
so yesterday was one in which i was constantly fielding one thing after another. but that’s life. so i’m posting a couple pics of some nicer moments of the weekend to boost morale around here.
fro yo with friends – second weekend in a row and that was mostly motivated by mommy. and pink bath water. it’s not a very good picture and you can’t see it that well in the photo but darla was in heaven. grandma and grandpa tucker had gotten her some effervescent bath salts and when they dissolved they turned the water pink. she keep saying “pinkest water ever!”
now if you’ll excuse me i have to go wait on my daughter hand and foot….. and mouth.
sorry, couldn’t resist the pun. i know you secretly loved it.
momjeanz 