just a few pics of indiana stuff last week. darla sure loves spending time with her grandparents.
nap time with grandpa
baking with grandma
pink skies
balance beam on garden plots
and of course treats for willow
and just a little bit of normal life back here at home:
i know you are bummed you’ve missed yet another record store day. even though the girl and i were busy on the road and then singing birthday hymns, i think i did you proud.
i stopped in to spoonful on monday and took a gander at brett’s pickin’s. i got us just a few items. admittedly, you would have done a better job but i think i got us some decent additions to this stack of wax.
uncle tupelo record store day release, numero uno rsd release and i also picked up this dawn landes record brett suggested for obvious reasons. he even recognized that the artwork is my style. so far, it’s been pretty nice listening. she’s doing an instore at spoonful on may 5, so if you’re home by then maybe we could take darla to her first instore as a family. whaddya say?
and yes, you may have noticed a little something in there for you. winkety wink wink. go SPEND some time in spoonful. you’ve earned it. i’m sorry we couldn’t be together for your 33 1/3.
looking forward to listening with you.
wifey
speaking of being present when babies are born, my special little girlfriend turned one and we made it back to columbus just in time to celebrate.
i think darla and adam were the only 2 people in the room that didn’t have their eyes on Joni. they look pretty intent on that cake, huh? i hope when these three are older the memories will resemble this picture. the three of them together. as they should be.
this is my second family (plus two unpictured VIPs) and i don’t know what i would do without them. wruckers love burkeybuns for life.
i know a good many of you have probably been wondering about that second birth experience. it’s taken me a couple of days to get life back in a rhythm, find time to write, and process the whole experience.
i wish i could give you a birth story, but it’s not my story to tell. so i will tell you what i can. i will tell you what’s in my heart.
i write and gravitate a lot towards natural birth. i believe in the power of mommas bodies. i believe in the wonderful dance mothers and their babies do to bring a new life into the world that we have termed labor. i know that i may come across as if i think mothers who choose natural birth are powerful she-woman warriors, because i do.
but now i have learned and witnessed another kind of power, another kind of strength that i hadn’t given its due credit until now. i haven’t had a ton of experience and i think somehow the universe knew which window to open and let me see through for my second experience. to give me more perspective and a well-rounded mindset moving forward. the last line from the excerpt i posted last week keeps ringing in my head: mothers and nature always find a way.
i’ve known all along that being a support person means supporting all kinds of births be they natural, interventive or surgical. even though i have my own personal philosophies, my biggest philosophy is that every couple gets to make their own birth decisions and deserve to be supported through those decisions. i just haven’t had a chance to actually practice what i preach too much.
i’ve now seen the kind of strength it takes to be able to reset and reconfigure when things don’t all go according to plan, because more often than not it’s not going to. i’ve seen the strength it takes for a couple to quickly shift from one path to another. i have to say that i’m a very stubborn person and i don’t know if i would have been able to recalculate with as much grace and acceptance as what i saw this past week. i would have thrown a stubborn aries fit. i would have had an emotional breakdown. i am very lucky neither of these parents were like me. mothers who can shift and accept a different path to birth their babies are powerful she-woman warriors, too. mothers find a way.
i’ve seen the strength it takes to face complications with positivity.
i was reminded that i am going to be very privileged to witness couples at their best. i don’t have a ton of births under my belt but i’m kinda getting the feeling that couples are at their best in labor. at least i hope. maybe i’ve just been lucky to see two great couples give birth. but i can say that i think i will be hard-pressed to find a husband and birth partner more supportive than what i witnessed last week. i’m willing to keep doing this to find out though…
to my friends: thank you a million times over for allowing me to support you through your labor. your fortitude astounded me. your love and support for one another was amazing. i know how lucky i am to have been there. i just have a feeling that starts at my core and radiates out to every fiber of my being that everything will be ok with time. these early complications will fall away and be but memories.
your beautiful baby is one lucky girl to get to have you as parents. aaannd i’m already jealous of her hair. i’ll show her how to shake it one day ;-)
all my love and admiration, your doulette
it’s taken a few days to get back in the swing of life at our little chateau. you know what’s worse than a hangover? a birth hangover. but unlike a real hangover, a birth hangover is worth it.
but anyway,
i’ve been feeling pretty stressed about all that I have to get done now that we’re back after being a way for what feels like an entire month. it was pretty rough around here for about a day and 1/2 and then i opened this mysterious package that had been waiting for us on the doorstep when we got back (i just forgot about it for a day)
annnnnd it made everything turn around. seriously.
thank you, dear friends! you are EXCELLENT.
JUST LOOK AT THAT! the girl dressed as dorothy, stern look of american determination fixed on her face, eating an apple and waving the flag by our deertick poster. the only way it could get any MORE patriotic was if there was a pitchfork or something in there.
oh and it makes for a good peek-a-boo prop as well.
thank you, again, friends. you have no idea how this turned our week around. our day turned into a park-going, bike purchasing, errand running day of excellent proportions.
not to turn this into a me thing, but today is the day of my friends’ induction and i’m anxiously awaiting my second support role experience. it’s scheduled to start in a just a few hours. i’ve been flexing my memory muscles to a year ago, when i was doing the doula thing for the very first time.
these past few days have taken me through a bevy of questions, emotions and thoughts. and i’m not even the one giving birth!
i’ve of course been questioning if i’ll be successful in giving another couple support. do i have what it takes? i’ve been thinking about my own birth philosophies and how hard it can be some times to sit on those and reflect quietly to myself. how hard it is to challenge my own thoughts and maybe change one or two of them in the process. i’ve been remembering my own labor and delivery and thinking back to how little i knew then, but how amazingly wonderful and empowering the whole experience was. i’m thinking about how much i’ve grown in my knowledge since then. i’m thinking about how much i will relish being with child, laboring and birthing again. Gasp! What!?
i get a lot of questions now about what a doula does and you know it’s still a bit hard for me to explain. Mabye that’s because i don’t really have a lot of experience (anyone else need a doula? i’m available!) and maybe it’s because it’s just kind of something you have to experience to understand.
i know that i was born a natural cheerleader and honestly it seems that a lot of my first doula experience was being a cheerleader for the momma/baby/papa team. but i need to iterate that it was genuine enthusiasm i was cheering. i whole-heartedly love the labor and birth process. i think this is the reaction that happens when a woman is supportively doula-ed through her birth, she then loves the whole process and wants to be there for others.
i love women. i love babies. i love papas. i love families. i love finding a way to cheer people on to finding these strengths they would never find in themselves until a life event such as birth.
this post is kinda all over the place because frankly i’m a bit all over the place in my head and heart at the moment. what i want to say is that i HIGHLY, SUPREMELY, ENTHUSIASTICALLY, suggest involving a doula in your birth process. we just want to help, and love and support. we are genuine in those desires.
the perfect twirly dress for darla marie. i can’t wait for the next holiday/excuse to give it to her.
i love thief and bandit kids designs!
women give birth every day in unbelievable places and circumstances…
in hot tubs, and warm ocean pools…
in rice paddies, mountain villages and igloos…
in beds, birth huts and birthing chairs,
Mothers the world over give birth
counting stars and under bright lights…
in fields, dugouts, and by fireplaces…
in planes and trains…
in one-room shacks and operating rooms.
Mothers and nature always find a way.
from my current read, Birthing From Within by Pam England. Just a reminder to not focus on the surroundings and the circumstances but the doing and the act itself.
hmmmm what to do while waiting for a little one to start her journey into the world…yep, flying a kite sounds good.
concluding with ice cream never hurts either.
the zephyrs are nice out there, people. get a kite this week!
darla and i have been kicking around in our matching toms all weekend. is this too much? well, i don’t care. we’re going to wear matching outfits until she’s 18 and she can just learn to deal with it. i love matching.
photo taken during a lively kite flying session here in indiana. more photos to come.
momjeanz 