full moon baby

i pulled out of the parking lot last night and onto the road. my first real look at the horizon revealed an absolutely stunning full moon on the rise. it was crimson turning golden and it was huge. a perfect round sphere and it seemed closer than i can recently remember.

i couldn’t help but think of the couple i had just witnessed become parents. i couldn’t help thinking about how similar that crimson sphere looks to the first glimpse of a new life pushing his way into the world. i couldn’t help thinking about how awesome it is to have your child born on the night of a gorgeous moonrise like that, having the celestial bodies sending their blessings. not that the new parents were viewing it. they had much more precious sights to behold.

but it was a moment of immense gratitude for me.

i sound really hippy dippy when i talk about birth. i get that. one of my clients told me recently i’m a little “new age-y.” i’ll take it. the thing is, i love birth work. i absolutely love it. it excites me and gets me closer to my deep love for humanity.  it makes me feel connected. yes, i do actually believe there is a connection between that new life, that courageous and strong mother, that supportive father and that beautiful full moon. i really do.

and let me tell you, if you can’t find that excitement for yourself about your birth then that may be why you need me. if you can’t see or feel the connectedness of it all then you really need me. this is not a call of judgement here. this is simply something i have to offer you and if you need help getting there, then i’m your gal.

book club

i’m headed to book club tonight. i’m looking forward to a social event. aren’t book clubs lovely? yes.

i’ve always been an avid reader and prided myself on still finding time to read in motherhood. these last six months i’ve found it increasingly hard to get myself to sit down and read a book. i haven’t been able to figure out why it wasn’t a priority anymore. partly because i’ve taken on other projects, partly because most of my reading for the last year has been birth work related thus feels more like trying to cram as much information into my wee brain and less like recreation. but i felt something new last night as i was reading.

i finished the book club book a couple of days ago and had that once familiar urge to jump right into another book. i realized in the middle of Cowboys are My Weakness that my fundamental relationship with reading has changed and it made me extremely distraught. when i used to read i would be filled with inspiration for all the things i was going to do and see and accomplish and conquer. now when i read, i am mourning all the things i feel i will never see and experience. i now understand that aspect of reading a book. the feeling that this book will take you some place you will never visit. maybe i was naive to spend so many years believing i would be able to venture to see the places and do the things i have dreamed.

i find myself feeling so trapped lately. i know, i know. i understand this is my own mental task of which to take control. i know i can see my life differently and look at what has been accomplished instead of what i had envisioned my life to be. {there’s been a lot of Les Mis sung around here lately, mkay} as of late, i’ve been envious of the national geographic tigress who slinks off on her own once her cubs have reached a couple of years of age. i’ve been envious of the tigress who tells her partner even during their mating “you can have me now, for these minutes but then be off for my future is my own.”

i will do the work to make it out of this mental state but for the moment i am mourning a loss. and that is ok. i will accept these feelings with validity and then take action, whatever that may be. i will turn it over and relinquish my control, understanding that i don’t yet know the full picture.

let’s just hope this book club meeting will be more upbeat than i am today. i knew i had to get these feelings out here so i wouldn’t end up a crying mess tonight. that may still happen. it’s not a good day -in my book- unless i’ve visited the entire emotional spectrum. my daily cry-time is right in the book club slot so the probability of it happening is looking good…

kitchen projects

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did you enjoy your president’s day off? i assume you were out running lovely errands instead of sitting behind a work desk reading blogs on company time… {i love it when you do that}. soooooooo, i spent president’s day doing kitchen projects with darla. this is worthy of its own post because i don’t usually do kitchen projects. most of my cooking really consists of making soups. i am a soup master. everything else i just attempt once and go back to soup.

we made granola, which darla really got her hands into. pun! child labor pun! delicious fruit smoothie lunches and i even tried that coconut oil & baking soda face cleanser. when it worked wonderfully i made a batch to keep in the bathroom.

my last cooking creation was inspired by Honeykiss bakery’s president’s day special. i can’t wait until a special occasion to get my own honeykiss pie {cough, april 3 = 30th birthday, cough} but i was digging the white cheddar, apple and bacon combination and used it to come up with my own scone recipe. delicious! i would love to provide some kind of recipe but i was making it up on the fly.

however, below is a recipe for granola that my friendly friend provided me. this granola was so good, cheap and easy. gawh, want to make a good, cheap and easy joke so badly…never mind.

recipe here:

 The recipe is a bit freewheeling – use whatever you have on hand or whatever you feel like.  You will need whole rolled oats, brown sugar, cinnamon, maple syrup, and oil.  The rest (nuts and fruit) is up to you.  This recipe sounds quite involved but the prep literally takes between 5 and 10 minutes before putting it in the oven.  Set it and forget it.  So easy.
3 heaping cups of rolled oats
Little less than 1/4 cup packed brown sugar
A crap ton of cinnamon (2 tsp? 1 tbsp?)
1/4 cup of maple syrup
1/4 cup (plus a little splash more, maybe a tbsp) of canola/veggie oil
6-7 handfuls of almonds
6-7 handfuls of walnuts
As many handfuls of dried cranberries, dates, raisins, or other dried fruits that you want.
You can add seeds (flax, sesame, sunflower etc) or other nuts (pecans, peanuts, pistachios) etc.
Two very, very important things to remember no matter what goes in your granola:
First – do NOT NOT NOT mix your fruit in before baking – that goes in afterwards, unless you really miss your dentist and want to rush in for an emergency repair of a cracked a tooth (or someone else’s…)
Second – do NOT NOT NOT mix your fruit in before baking.  See above note.
–Preheat oven to 250
–Add brown sugar to dry oats and mix really well (I use my hands).
–Stir in nuts and/or seeds (and coconut, if you’d like) and mix
–Add cinnamon (the way I measure is this: I sprinkle cinnamon over the top until everything is covered in it)
–Add a healthy pinch of salt
–Mix everything together
–In a liquid measuring cup, measure out the 1/4 c of syrup first, then add the 1/4 cup(ish) oil to it (the oil will float so you will be able to clearly see how much of each you have).
–Pour over oat, nut, and spice mixture and stir very well until everything is coated.  This usually takes about a minute or so.  (NOTE: You will probably think you don’t have enough liquid.  You will mostly likely be wrong.  What you really want here is for everything to be lightly but thoroughly coated in the syrup/oil mixture.  Resist the temptation to add more liquid.  You don’t want any extra liquid at bottom or soggy oats.  If you really think you need more, add maybe a tablespoon of oil.)
–Pour out the mixture into a baking sheet with edges (some of these new-fangled modern ones are just a sheet with no edges, which will only cause you heartache as you watch your granola spill to the floor).  The granola should be stacked pretty thick in the sheet, maybe almost an inch in that pan coming up just slightly over the edges.
–Bake for one hour and fifteen minutes.  Yep, you heard that right – 1 hr 15 mins.  Some recipes say stir – I do not.  Too messy, too labor intensive.  Besides, I like the clumps that form.
–Remove from oven and carefully (carefully) break into pieces/chunks/bits into a large bowl with a spatula or wooden spoon.
–NOW add all the dried fruit your heart desires.
–Stir well and let cool completely before storing in a tightly sealed container.Just a note from my cooking experience:  the more “stuff” you add, the more maple syrup you might need if you like it more “chunky”…but not a lot more.
Enjoy!
ps. i also did a lemon juice and cayenne pepper detox shot. today i’m so skinny!  no. not really.

blessing

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i was invited to a client’s mommy shower this past weekend. the hostess conducted a bead blessing ceremony in which each attendee contributed a bead to the mother and gave her a blessing. then the mom can string them all together to wear as a necklace/bracelet for her labor, birth and transition of the new family dynamic. it was an incredibly sweet event and i hope to conduct a mommy shower for friends in the future to be able to do this again.

my blessing, coming from the doula’s perspective, was that the mother finds her power in surrender. it’s something birth has taught me that i try to remind myself daily. so much about our modern world is about control. sometimes surrender is our greatest power.

senses

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^^^i could do senses based just on this photo, as suggested by my friend katie, {yes, even taste was covered since darla found some sprinkles on the ground and then ate them} ^^^

but i won’t because i want to do them based on last night’s babes & bracelets at my house!

wine, pizza rolls, friendship bracelets and clueless. classic.

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touch: tactile textiles…making friendship bracelets.

taste: pizza rolls and wine are good together. for sure.

sight: clueless, obviously. i watched it three times last night. in a row. LOVE THAT MOVIE.

smell:  cookie dough baking. “whenever a boy comes over you should always have something baking.”

sound: the mighty, might bosstones. yeah.

ps. thanks to all the lovely ladies who joined and thanks to my husband for evacuating the premises. also, i have tons of floss and the movie still at my house so i will probs be recreating this event every single night if anyone wants to come join me.

goddess knowledge

hi friends.

i hope you are having a wonderful day full of love. it’s a pretty grand day, yes?

cousin and i recently gave a talk about the Greco-Roman goddesses at the Life(dot)next retreat. I thought I would provide a little history lesson: February 14th was the Roman feast day for Hera/Juno, Zeus/Jupiter’s wife. she was the goddess of commitment and marriage. well, the catholic church did this thing of placing all our current major holidays on the pagan feast days so the pagans wouldn’t have to give up their partying. pretty cool, huh? makes the transition a whole lot easier…slick even.

so in addition to celebrating st. valentine, consider invoking Hera into your day of love festivities. she probably feels a little left out…no wonder the divorce rate is rising. for those of you hoping for a valentine’s filled with not just love but making love, you might want to invoke Aphrodite, the goddess of love, as well.

fun stuff, huh? as far as love & commitment go we could all use a little more of it. let’s celebrate all the gods/goddesses/patron saints of love. anybody know some from other cultures before we got all homogenized and what not?

paying tribute to the ohioan goddess of icecream:

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^^^happy valentine’s day^^^

last minute

i have a planner than travels with me everywhere, a giant fridge calendar to keep family schedules straight, and an iCalender and facebook calendar on the iphone. i don’t even consider myself to be someone who has that many scheduled commitments. am i alone in this or is everyone walking around with several different methods of keeping track of time + space relations?

i think i am not alone.

last week’s recurring theme was the failing last-minute plan. i was either on the extending or receiving end of last-minute plan invitations that couldn’t seem to come together. do we live in such a hyper-scheduled society that the last-minute plan is disappearing before our very eyes? is this just what it’s like as you get older? are all you young houligans out there going about your merry, last-minute lives laughing through rounds of drinks at how you had no plans for the evening until Juan-Carlo called you up an hour ago and invited you to this mixer?

for some reason it made me very sad and nostalgic. my natural tendencies gravitate towards anti-structure and free-wheeling.  i just wanna be able to do what i wanna do when i wanna do it.

how do we feel about this as a culture? should we schedule a weekly last-minute plan day?

because that would be very funny…like corporate casual friday.