week 40

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dance parties are back. i’m hitting a stride with my doula work. and i’ve had a spike in my bacon intake. life is perfect.

well, not really perfect. some days it feels like my life is peachy keen and then other days it feels like, like…like adulthood just amounts to big messes that i don’t have energy to clean up, piles of broken things i don’t have the time to fix. i mean that literally and figuratively. some days it seems like i’m recovering from a string of things i forgot to do.

and that’s life. that’s just how it is. my path is about finding out how to live through these moments, this season.

the truth is i have no idea how i’m going to achieve my dreams and i’m learning to accept that vulnerability. all i know is i’m moving confidently in the direction of my dreams. and that’s all i’m responsible for. i don’t have to have all the pieces together yet. i just have to move. and i just have to groove. and i have to shimmy shake with my ambitions. because if i’m going to achieve some goals i’d like to have a little fancy footwork involved along the way.

so that’s what our week contained. steps forward in unschooling, steps forward in my doulaship, steps forward with living a sustainable and healthy existence. i’m learning to balance out my inner drive to take advantage of these warm days of getting out and about with the fact that sometimes we need to just chill inside even if it’s sunny and gorgeous. thus, the invention of windows. ha. i can feel my inner mammal preparing for the winter. i feel this need to be out and about because i’m really and thoroughly looking forward to hibernating.

although, i admittedly have a vision of wintertime bliss that has never been based in reality. my brain wants to tell me we’ll spend the winter curled up on the couch reading hours of books, watching movies and playing games next to the fire. and maybe that will happen. but you see, we don’t have a fireplace. so that tells me this vision of mine is not so realistic. i’ll probably make it through december before i start to feel like everything is covered with a thin layer of human funk and start wishing for warm days again.

why am i worrying about this? i don’t need to. it’s been 80 and october.

i was actually kinda lax about schooling this week. i just let darla do her own thing around the house most of the time. we only had one outing but it was a pretty fantastic one. i took darla over to the osu wetlands research area, a first time there for us. she and i sat very still and had a stare down with 3 deer before they went about doing their thing. i was impressed by d’s willingness to be quiet and take it in. and yes, i actually took her to a cemetery as an educational experience. we did some grave tracings and spent hours just exploring and talking. this fit in very well as an october activity. darla said “mom, i don’t think cemeteries are scary at all. i think they’re special.”

my weekend straddled a birth work workshop and my part-time gig. i’m feeling pretty exhausted from it all but it’s a good tiredness. i feel very fortunate to be able to do some continuing ed and to meet new birth lovers. it all made me feel very hopeful for the future.

and if i accomplished nothing else this week i figured out to conduct all future client interviews exclusively at Jeni’s locations. Yum!

week 39

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people, in my book the most important thing that happened in week 39 was that i gave myself bangs again. bangs! nothing else matters. bangs are a good fall + winter look for me.

doesn’t that look like a good week? life is busy but it seems busy with the things that are really important. i feel very connected to all the avenues i’m putting my effort into right now. it’s a grand feeling. by the way, i’m digging presenting life in a weekly format on here. i feel it allows me to tell our story in the ways i want. i also feel that it requires much less work.

i find myself living my days in amazement of all the ordinary and out-of-the-ordinary things transpiring. whether it’s watching darla ride her trike or visiting with friends that we haven’t seen in ages, it all seems ridiculously generous of the universe to bestow all this on us.

my week contained warm days running around to parks and outdoor destinations. i had a nice balance of friends and family.  i experienced free time and down time. i walked through prarie fields and city streets. i danced my calves off at a wedding. i say calves because they honestly feel like they are going to fall off my body. i got to hug and squeeze my wonderful, amazing friends and talk about how we all like to be in bed by 11pm now. I got to hug and squeeze my husband. I got to hug and squeeze my daughter.

i’m a person that very much values taking in new experiences. but i have to say, this weekend reminded me how important it is to revisit some of the things i’ve already seen before. visiting my old stomping grounds reminded me of all i’ve already experienced and gave me space to be thankful for that. i have a ritual every time we visit DC of stopping by the apartment where we first brought darla home as a newborn. that place means so much to me and in times past it’s been a mournful visit. this time just felt good. i feel deep emotion being there but it’s no longer marked with a pang to return back to a time gone by. it’s now pulsing with thankfulness that i’m even able to come glance up 7 stories into the air and remember a little baby rolling on floors.

i look back on the list of experiences from the past week and realize how important it all is. from the everyday-doings of the beginning of the week to the wedding bash at the end and i’m filled with the same amazement and thankfulness for both and everything in between. it’s an extraordinary existence to be able to sit down and play a game of pick-up sticks with my girl first thing in the morning. just as extraordinary as running around making the most of a big city weekend celebration. i used to think only the extravagant, grand-travel adventures we took were important.

it might be the bangs, but now i see that the quiet moments spent here in our home or out on daily errands are just as important, if not more. because that is my life. for now. and i celebrate that. maybe my life will be something different in 5 years as it certainly was 5 years past. but for now it is grocery lists, homeschool outings, prenatals & postpartums and the occasional out-of-town trip.

and i’m really, really happy to say this is my life right up there in those pictures.

bird tagging

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the day started out rainy. somehow, even through her own umbrella and a raincoat with a hood d still managed to be soaking wet upon arrival in the car. when she shed her jacket and plopped in her seat, she sighed out “what a dang, darn day” with the exasperation more fit for someone with sixty years her senior. in a short, the day looked to be a rough one starting out.

we’d plans to meet friends at the scioto audubon {you know a usual for us} but we weren’t aware of the fact that every september and october the audubon takes on a big bird tagging project. yeah, you see that up there? those are bags of birds. I SAID BAGS OF BIRDS! although i personally have some conflicting feelings about this process, i feel like it was a great thing for the kids to witness up close. darla was allowed to gently pet a few of the birds. we saw a warbler, a catbird, an american goldfinch and a cardinal.

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after a few hours at the center we hit up the north market because it just seemed like another good thing to do on a rainy day. unschooling helps me see that we’re learning in everything we do. darla LOVES to look at the flowers at the market. we identified several and talked about their prices. and what better way to talk about math than by getting a gumball at the end? commerce is a great area for learning practical math.

so, in the end it was kinda the opposite of a dang, darn day. it was pretty great.

slate run

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oh how we love slate run. i think it’s been way too long since we were last there. we really got our farm on last week given that we were at aullwood just a day before but this time were both equipped with boots. boots make a big difference on a farm.

we started out the morning exploring parts of the park previously unknown to us. our visit started with the covered bridge. darla made me gallop with her back and forth across the bridge. she was ichabod and i was the headless horseman. we walked some short trails and paused for a bit in the prairie with the wildflowers. and it was at that moment that i was again struck by how thankful i am to have this life with her. i will keep my daughter in the wildflowers and out of the classroom for as long as possible.

i’m really looking forward to fall outings. i hope we get nice sunny days perfect for short trips back to slate run. d was pretty excited about getting to romp around after a flock of she-turkeys. she was not so enthused to mess with the males.

can i just say i’m glad i wasn’t born a turkey. i’m real sorry but they are quite ugly creatures.

oh and ps.

I JUST WANT TO DO THIS FOREVER!

afternoon

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darla’s art projects always end the same way…inking up her body. i know what the future holds. i was told “this is a cyclops and his girlfriend.” I would actually be thrilled if Darla got this tattooed later in life. I think I’d get a matching one.

i’ve struggled a bit with teaching d to write. other than her name and the word poop she hasn’t had much motivation to learn to form letters and any lesson we’ve done up until now has seemed pretty pushy to me.

reading up on the unschooling philosophies has taught me to sit back and wait for the teachable moments. i have relied on the confidence that darla will show interest when she is ready and motivated and we finally had one of those moments. i suggested making a welcome sign for my mom and d was very into the whole process. she even seemed to like the process we developed of practicing each letter twice before putting it on the sign. this was a good time! i realize this is not the greatest penmanship but i’m mostly jazzed about the effort and enthusiasm she had for this activity. i’m thankful to be learning to be gentle with the learning process. We’ve been writing pretend letters and books for a few months so I think a real interest in learning to write is write around the corner. {pun!}

we shall see.

Unschooling: Aullwood Farm

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our second half of our visit to Aullwood was spent at the farm. i found it very interesting that darla chose to spend most of her time and energy exploring was the herb garden. she asked about every single herb and we spent almost an hour smelling and comparing. there were hundreds of these little yellow butterflies that swirled around us every time we moved further along the path. i wish i had been able to get a picture of it but i’m glad i just left it as something to experience instead of document.

we thoroughly enjoyed visiting the animals but spent more time in the farm exhibit house.

another aspect i enjoy of unschooling is that it works even on days when i don’t really feel at my best. many days i’ve simply taken darla out into the world and let her be the guide about what we learn. i imagine it would be so hard as an educator on the days you feel less than tip top. all i have to do is provide an atmosphere in which learning can occur and be willing to interact as darla sees fit. it’s always very interesting to me to see the things she latches onto and inquires for more information. it’s usually not what i would have guessed and i’m thankful to be able to follow her lead.

thanks for checking in on our recent unschooling!

Unschooling: Aullwood Audubon Center

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d’s absence all weekend made me really ambitious towards unschooling last week. we didn’t even make it home before it began. we had stopped at the aullwood center last year as a fam but only saw a fraction of what the park had to offer so we stopped off again last week and spent the rest of the day there.

i’m splitting this post into two sections because there was soooo much going on with this day i kinda worry it was information overload. we spent the beginning of the trip in the center learning about turtles and creek life, bees, animal bones and tracks and the usual nature center stuff. the highlight here was petting the turtles. i really spent most of my time explaining to darla why she could not get in the turtle habitat.

then we took our time on the .75 mile hike to the farm through the woods. d was in an especially determined mood and lead the way through the forest picking up on all sorts of foresty details. i thought it was cool that some of the trees were labeled with the date and causation of their fell.

we stopped to say hello to an especially woolly friend at the gate into the farm. i love this outing and hope to return to the Aullwood Audubon Center again soon. some highlights from the farm will be coming shortly.

thanks for checking in on our unschooling today!

the processing and unpacking process

reading up on unschooling has given me one extremely important lesson: downtime is of the utmost importance.

one of the books i’m reading explained that for every 2 hours of activity or focused attention the brain needs 1 hour of rest and relaxation to process and unpack all the things it has learned. without downtime your brain will not file things away properly.

this explains so much about my inadequate memory.

i’ve lived much of my life running from one activity to the next. i’ve spent years of my life feeling guilty if i’m not constantly busy. i can now see why this way of life has left me missing out on details and memories stored improperly, if at all.

i’ve denied myself of vital downtime over the years. who can blame me? the rest of society and the world is doing the same thing.

what if i just laid down to stare at the ceiling for an hour after work, a meeting or prenatal session with a client? it would be so nice getting the downtime and feeling off-the-hook about it because it is necessary for my brain to unpack that information.

sweet!

i’ve been trying to put this more in to practice this week. i’ve instilled a 15 minute downtime rule after we come home from being out on errands or an outing. for the first 15 minutes we just sit quietly and be. i don’t jump into any duties or chores or ANYTHING until i’ve just chilled out for 15 minutes. i can’t even begin to tell you how much this has helped my week.

of course i can’t control darla. she still scampers off but i’ve made it clear that the first 15 minutes at home should be a quiet time where my attention is not available until after the timer goes off.
and that’s where the best part comes in. most of the time she’s taken it upon herself to get into a quiet activity that continues after those 15 min. today she actually sat down beside me and rested for a few minutes, being still, just breathing.

wish me luck in keeping this practice going in our house. i feel the evidence thus far shows that good habits and practices are being learned from the experiment.

unschooling: burial mounds

whilst poking around on the Ohio Historical Society website the other day i discovered a historical treasure practically on our doorstep. yes, this is actually how i feel about it. why? because i was a history minor and a geek, that’s why. the wheels for day trips and outings have been spinning ever since but i knew i wanted to start with Shrum Mound. Located less than 2 miles from our house, I felt this would be a perfect doorway to connect darla’s fascination with ancient egyptian culture and mummies closer to home.

monday afternoon we packed up and headed to this almost forgotten little site. it’s bordered now by a quarry and condo developments. somehow, the forsight of preservationists in 1920 to protect this piece of land rang sadly in my heart as i gazed around at the surroundings, wondering what the ancient people who had chosen this as the final resting place for many of their kin would think of the site today.

but it’s a beautiful little piece of land.

and when i told darla about where we were going and what we were doing she could only exclaim “oh! oh!” and jump up and down.

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if you don’t believe me about her excitement, i present you with the below photo. i did not instruct her to do this. this pose, and honey-boo-boo-esque expression are something she art directed. my child is REALLY into burial places and practices. I’m ok with it. She is tuned into the sacredness and I’m happy to see how a fascination is fostering real respect for customs and life.

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these few pieces of information were all we really needed to build a day of learning. miss d was excited to make the hike to the top and look around.

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now you may have noticed the markings on her body. darla decided to engage the outing by drawing tattoos on herself. she has a penchant for body art but has learned from our readings that many native american tribes and ancient peoples tattooed their warriors as a sign of respect and honor. below is a picture of her making up a detailed story about the lives of the people buried in the mound, which her tattoos told the story of, similar to hieroglyphs {her words}.

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let’s get a close-up of that, shall we?

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it was a small little space but i’m sure it seemed a great adventure to her. the area was walled off and kept clean. i let her explore on her own as much as she liked. that’s kind of the advantage with such a high vantage. when you’re sitting on top of a great big pile of dirt you can see everything.

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she loved climbing and descending the trails and exploring the wall. i wanted to include this photo below to show the butterfly that swooped into the frame.

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i had brought along a couple books that seemed to connect with the space perfectly; our Nature All Year Long book and The Secret Garden, which darla has also taken to. we had packed a lunch and after we ate, i read to her for well over an hour while she played.

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she scampered around in the dirt and had a great time pretending that the wall around the mound was the wall of the secret garden and she was the robin that led mary to the garden. she gathered and made a nest and happily sat roosting on the nest while listening.

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it eventually got late and we packed up but i wanted to include this day as one of great success for us. this day showed how much can be learned from such a simple place. there weren’t tons of displays or exhibits. it was just a space open for our exploration in a way that can be out of reach at other sites. we explored nature, spirituality, history, literature, architecture and geography all in one simple setting.

i want this last picture to remind me that sometimes I can have the best time just sitting with my girl on a big pile of dirt.

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unschooling: home

most of my unschooling posts are from adventures out and about but the majority of our unschooling really happens in our home or from everyday living. a principle of unschooling i love is that learning comes from life. it comes from doing and everyday curiosity. it comes from letting my girl get into just about anything she has the motivation to. this results in an extremely messy house most of the time.

but darla reminds me often that “messy is about having fun” so we get into things a lot. and i try to use everything, all the doings of our life as teaching moments.

here are a few moments from this past week: darla drawing heiroglyphs on our concrete porch, drawing observations in her nature journal of a caterpillar she found, studied and played with for a few hours, and learning to play checkers {and re-learning for me} at our local coffee shop.

thanks for checking in on our unschooling this week.

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