Dear Salty Sailor,

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just look at those baby blues.

it’s been raining all week here. all i can say is thanks be to jupiter for indoor playgrounds. thank drops of jupiter for grandparents who buy admission passes to said indoor playgrounds. (i know how much you love it when i reference Train.) i feel much more at ease this week, having gotten back to focusing on what’s important and giving little d the patience she needs from me. all is well, hubster, all is well. everything is in the pictures.

she is pretty much a constant stream of running commentary on life now and her saving grace is she’s hilarious or else i don’t know if my nerves could take it. seriously talking from the minute she’s up until the minute she goes to sleep. she talks herself to sleep. then she sometimes talks in her sleep. do you know why parents get their daughters their own lines and phones shaped like giant lips? so their daughters will talk to someone else besides them. geeesh.

quotes: “i’m daddy and i like big money”

as she and i are leaving kyli’s house: “mommy, are you going to a concert?” i’m actually slightly proud of that one.

“darla what are you doing?” “i just stole a pig”  huh???? i didn’t ask.

she pings the pong

these eyes are just getting me this week. so stinking scrumptious.

 

circus freak

look at what i got over here for you

mid-sandwich life contemplation

sending you some radar love,

fwifey, now wifey.

what i wouldn’t give…

Posted in Momma Needs a minute... by

i’m convinced my world would be revolutionized if i could just become a morning person.

no matter what time mike goes to bed he’s always up by 6 am, at the latest. i saw the sun rise every day this past weekend and i thoroughly love the feeling of getting myself going with the break o’ day. but, somehow i just cannot get my internal clock to reprogram. as soon as i get darla down it’s like i have the first chance all day to think my own thoughts and work on my own projects and if i don’t get them all done right when i think of them then their gonna die right along with my soul!

i’m tired. i’m tired of doing this all by myself and it’s not even the halfway point. i’m tired of not being able to wind down my windmills until 2 am and then being up at 7 with a toddler who’s had 11 hours of sleep. i’m tired of wishing that i could be different. i’m tired of trying to figure out how to change it and i need to start focusing on how to use it.

that’s all. just a little complaint session. you can all go about your lives as normal.

Dear Salty Sailor,

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this pretty much sums up life around here as of late. our suitcases packed and ready to head off again. a third weekend in a row away is starting to wear on me. when i look at the just visiting sticker on darla’s suitcase i think it refers to home rather than visiting far off places. is this how you feel all the time? like a permanent visitor? is this why you don’t wanna be a rubbertramp with me? can you also not spell grandma correctly?

i feel that the stress incurred from traveling caught up with me and i definitely was not the best mom, or even a good mom this week. i’m trying to work on meditating for more patience and remind myself that it’s not darla’s fault i’ve created a whirlwind life for us these past 3 weeks. have i ever told you this is really hard while you’re away?

our week consisted of getting our house back in order and saying good bye to the buzzkers no less than three times. i remarked to them on our final sendoff that the girls probably no longer believe our “you won’t see each other for a while” speeches since we then reunited them within 12 hours three days in a row. i have been trying to picture what our life will be like in columbus without that wonderful family and i can’t. we will just have to see. i shan’t type on this subject any more because any other feelings i have to state will start an outpouring of emotions that i don’t think the internet can handle. on the upside we scored some great free stuff from them. that’s what moving friends are for. the illuminated burrito below is for under our christmas tree to remind us of both christ’s humble beginnings AND the hilarious yet slightly odd sense of humor of our dear friends. i think it will compliment our sombrero tree topper nicely, too.

                  

here’s some of the funnies darla said this week: i asked her to help me put her dishes away and she replied with “right on.” maybe it was actually a “wright on” but you know i can’t tell her syntactical cues yet.  she climbed in bed with me one morning, snuggled under the covers then asked “mommy, can we stay in bed forever?” i told her yes. she asked me for some candy and i told her no because we hadn’t had lunch yet. she got a cross look on her face and replied “well, if i had some candy i wouldn’t give you a piece either.” this next one wasn’t actually said by our kid but it was said TO our kid so i’m gonna include it. elsa’s parting words to darla were “try not to poop in your hair.” how does one sum up a year and a half of sisterly friendship?

the last one i wanted to recount is especially relevant given my activities this weekend. Darla told me that she used to live in my womb which was a special little room inside me just for her. i was really touched by this pared down explanation. i felt triumph of having gotten a magical, motherly vision of her time in utero instilled in her little mind. i felt our child was a super genius. i was on top of a mountain looking down at all the other “lesser parents” that don’t explain anatomy and physiology to their two year olds. i was mother of the friggin’ year. then she proceeded to tell me that she had a crib in there and a swing set and even a babydoll with which she used to play. that’s when my big head deflated and i came back to reality.

well here are just a few more pics. darla’s in a growth spurt and i think i officially see a big kid poking through and the last traces of baby are melting away. it’s like watching the sun set.

         

nachos.nachos.bean.burrito          indiana campfire                   grandpa’s girl

i want to save a summary of my classes for a separate post so i’ll just end with these pictures and a grand AYE-LUUhhhUUhhhVvvvv-YEEEwwwww!

wifey, former fwifey

It’s official!

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Now taking clients for discounted doula services while i complete my certification.

Please pass along my information to any expecting couples in the columbus ohio or central indiana areas.

thank you!!!

excitedly yours,

elaine

ps. that fish is how i carried darla around pretty much the first year of her life.

the most boring dc photo post ev-ah

Posted in parenting apparently?, Travels by

you’d think that after waiting a year and a half between visits and 13 hrs of driving round trip i would have taken more time to document our stay in dc. alas, i was living in the moment. read that – i was too busy running after our child in busy venues and trying to keep her from jumping off martyna and heidi’s spiral staircase to really wield a camera. here’s what i got:

  darla and frauntie martyna reunion. thanks for housing us!

darla’s indifference to black cat

where i first espied frodo

fried homemade donuts at birch and barley

come into the light children. all are welcome.

i will now list my other failures of the weekend besides capturing any pictures of the cool stuff we did for four days:

-taking a toddler to vfest. epic fail. although not really my fault. i tried but it was really not the environment for a child. i pride myself in not being too squeamish about including darla in life experiences but after 1 1/2 hours decided to go with my mom instinct and get the heck outta hipster hell. after buying darla a really cute t-shirt of course.

-staying up past ten. i had good intentions every night of getting darla down to bed and then having some adult conversations, maybe cut loose a little bit but never was able to actuate these plans. oh well. luckily i have good friends that understand. luckily i have good friends that will move the party that they threw for our arrival to the nearby bar so we could crash in peace. i heard it was a good party though.

-keeping a dry eye. i was a soppy mess the whole weekend. but not in a touching, let’s cry together b/c we miss each other way. more in a parked-car-on-the-side-of-the-road-mom-crying-while-toddler-sleeps-in-backseat creepy kinda way. that actually happened. in front of our old building. and it was one of those ugly cries. ugh.

now for my more important accomplishments of the weekend.

– dancing on the sidewalk to an r&b church service

– 13 hrs in a car with a toddler

– being able to navigate myself around the city as if i never left

– lots and lots and lots of walking. my calves are screaming at me but in a good way

– 2 showers in one weekend. sadly that is not all that common for me

– co-sleeping with darla all weekend long. cuddlefest

-reuniting darla with drum circle. in some senses this was a failure b/c she didn’t give a lick about the drumming and only wanted to run away from me and jump in fountains. i didn’t get to spend much time enjoying the event with friends but still i hope it was enough of an experience to stick in darla’s memory. drum circle was one of my favorite weekly activities when she was small.

– food. oh my gosh glorious food. between thaitanic take-out, the corner crepery, mr. yogato and brunch at birch and barley i was stuffed beyond belief. 14th st has blossomed into one long row of beckoning restaurants and it makes me long to brunch at every one of them! if we still lived in the district i am quite sure birch and barley would be one of our go-to haunts

– and most importantly, seeing lovely, familiar faces. reconnecting with people that i miss so much. each day brought new reunions. frauntie kate, my phish buddies amy & jess. ak & susanna. heidi. dewey. and frauntie martyna! i even stopped into the hill rag on my way out of town and got to reunite with my old co-workers. i hope that some day we will be so lucky as to have built as wonderful of a circle of friends in columbus as the one still embracing us in dc. it’s hard to walk away from all that love.

well that was the weekend in a nutshell. triumphs and failures. yep, sounds like parenting.

Dear Salty Sailor,

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i am writing this update in a cute little apartment just steps away from the spot at which we met. darla and i are spending the weekend with frauntie martyna and her new place (with heidi) is on swann. it is literally less than a block from the black cat. I walked darla over there this morning and told her the story of our meeting. she couldn’t have cared less. there were leftover fries on the ground and apparently that is more interesting than the story of her parents falling in love.

as you would expect, it was a very emotional stroll for me this morning. walking darla past the places that we used to frequent, places she has been many times of which she will have no memory. i drove her past harvard hall when we came into the city and had a few tears seeing her first home again. i miss this wonderful place.

sometimes i wonder why we ever left. sometimes i wish we were still here. i know in my heart that moving to columbus was the right move for us and i know it’s where we’re supposed to be at the moment. add on top of that the question of where we’re going to spend our future years and it becomes such a big internal struggle of wanting to be everywhere at one time. but somehow, in these past few weeks the weight of that question has melted away because i don’t care where i live as long as i am with you and darla. you two are my home.

besides making the trek to DC, our week has been a nice mix of activities and down time. darla spent some alone time with uncle josh and clare bear. we took a rainy afternoon playdate with elsabun, cory, and the now free-during-the-day meg at the tuttle mall. afterwards darla was really intent on reciting her planets and she could get all the way up to mars but then would get lost in space. haha. forgive me the pun.

we also spent lots of mother-daughter time cuddling in bed watching movies. her latest favorite is the japanese animation spirited away. ’twas a recommendation from cosmic cousin and i have to say that japanimation might be our next big foray. i don’t know how my fantasy film childhood missed all these great films. also, i think we will raise her to be an animist. maybe a nice mix of native american and japanese??? i do like the fact that she now tells me she thinks she’d like to be a water spirit. she’d be a great water spirit. i told her i’m a fire spirit. what spirit would you be?

also, i wanted to update you on the cycle tavern excursion. it was hilarious and so much fun. i’d love to do it again sometime when you can be included. my legs hurt for two days afterwards but i kinda liked the feeling that i was working out while socializing. smiley smiles. we enjoyed all the attention it garnered. especially from the 3 or 4 firetrucks that stopped to chat us up. i’m just saying that the firemen of columbus might be getting paid to flirt with ladies on a 16 person bike. but who can blame them?

well once again i didn’t do a very good job of recording funny things baby d has said. at one point in time, when i was giving her a talking to for something or other, she looked me in the eye and told me “to take a deep breath” and started conducting my breathing. she was right and i did. sometimes daughter knows best. on our walk around dc she told me “mom, i love my dad and i have his toes.” i think she will be saying that she has your toes for years yet to come. it seems to have stuck. that’s all that i can really recall. she has been doing and saying so many things lately that remind me of you. i swear sometimes her speeches are a replica of your m&m commercials. it makes me so content to think about that.

well here are some pictures from the earlier part of the week. i’ll update pics from our trip here when i get home. we miss you and we love you. i’m very happy to be in the city of our meeting because it for some reason makes me feel closer to you. i guess, geographically speaking, i am.

love,

former fwife, now wife

p.s. i am so glad we had darla because now a little bit of you stays behind with me when you are gone to work.

a delivery from mr. stork

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do you think my info packet for my doula class was delivered by the stork? carrier pigeons can’t have cornered the whole mail market. upon return from my respite in hocking hills i found my information and introduction packet had arrived. i can not even relay how excited i am that a) this class didn’t get canceled and b) that i am getting myself further along the certification path. it seems like it has been forever since i decided i wanted to delve into this position. it still feels like it will be quite a while before i acquire the amount of wisdom i desire about birth and labor and the power of women, couples and families. so for right now i’m content with this next step. i’m busying myself by fitting reading and re-reading the required list into the spaces that are not already filled up with chores, activities and the reunion love affair i currently have going on with little miss. I’m happy to say i only have one more book to read before i’ve completed the reading portion of certification.

i wanted to take a moment to plug my favorite book on pregnancy and birth thus far. Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth is one of my most cherished books in my personal library. that’s my copy. a little worn and dog-earred. i attribute much of what helped me remain a calm and positive feed for the first couple i helped through labor to this book. i felt like i could hear the sort of soothing voice ina may would use to coach a woman through her rushes when i read the paragraphs of this book and i was able to channel that for my first doula experience.

besides informative, it is empowering. it is hopeful and it is a bit spiritual in its own way. i highly suggest this book to anyone who is expecting or plans to be expecting or is a support to someone who is expecting or expects to know someone who is expecting. disclaimer: it can be a little hippy-dippy for the common crowd so if it’s too much for you just ignore those parts and focus on the good information and let yourself runaway with the confidence you will feel about nature’s path of birth.

back to reading…

Dear Salty Sailor,

Posted in Momma Needs a minute... by

your weekly update is coming atcha early this time b/c in a short span of minutes i’ll be departing for a weekend in hocking hills. your presence is going to be greatly missed. i’m already feeling emotional about it. i’ve transferred our lucky little girl to her lucky grandparents so any further updates on her will have to come from them for the next 4 days. momma needs to breathe some fresh air! momma needs to hike! momma needs to probably, actually lie around and sleep in and drink some box wine with other tired parents escaping their lovable, but exhausting offspring. once again, i will miss you for all of this.

i did a horrible job at recording funny things darla said this week so i’m pulling them all from memory at this point. my tired, frazzled memory. Ok here goes.

she had some of her eating utensils crouched beside the coffee table. she appeared to be “fixing” something as she was using the fork as if it were a wrench. when she noticed me watching her she kinda scrunched her mouth up like the WWII merchant marine poster and said “i work on boats.” i hope you are oh-so-proud of that one. she told me something was “not a big deal” this week and it furthers my disbelief at how our child can be 2 1/2 going on 15. one morning she kept jumping off furniture and the staircase landing. before she would jump she would say “click” and mime strapping herself into something. she would then hold her hands out in front of her as if she was riding a bike and then she would jump off her pedestal of choice. i didn’t interfere for about the first 15 minutes b/c she wasn’t jumping off anything too high or dangerous and forthaloveofzeus she was self-occupied. but then she rolled her eyes and kinda giggled and said “oh, i have to put on my helmet.” then she mimed putting on a helmet before she did the whole routine. i was sufficiently intrigued and asked her what she was doing. she looked at me as if i were a complete dolt and said “i’m hang-gliding.” duh, mom, duh. i wasn’t even aware she knew of such adventures as hang-gliding, but evidently she’s a pro. has the whole safety routine down. the last one is a good one. she slung one of her play purses over her shoulder and told me she was “the mail girl” and that she had to go deliver “blue marshmallow mail.”  then she stopped and said “nooooo, not marshmallow mail. just blue mail.” i really love all the things that go on insider that mind of hers.

other outings of the week included – joni’s baptism, biking to the library and our furthest venture yet – the santa maria, going to a new playground with the burkes, sleepover with elsabun and visit to the kids creativity center at the columbus museum of art, which is really really sweet and all kinds of fun. I even got some time away with a little help from our friends to see me a little live music show. there’s a little story about the show for ya after the little picturesque pics.

i was walking to the newport and had parked several blocks away b/c i was wearing new shoes and outfit and i wanted someone to notice me, dammit! ahem, as i was walking i heard two gentlefolk of the male nature approach behind and began to drop eaves on their loud, ostentatious conversation – “so i told him you guys weren’t available for any radio interviews or interviews of any kind. he wasn’t happy but i said you just weren’t available. blah blah blah.” i noticed both men holding bags of the record album shape and thought for sure this had to be a member of the band and managerial type someone. if you had been with me you mos def would have been able to take one look and realize it was peter moren standing so close to me that i could have snipped a locket of his hair. here’s how the scenario played out in my mind: i immediately turned around 180 degrees and awkwardly stated in a monotone voice slightly 2 decibels to loud “i’m going to your show right now.” they both stopped in their tracks and stared at me scared and uncomfortable. i turned back around and ran awkwardly away. as i ran, all i could think was “i hope they noticed my new heels.”

here’s what actually happened: i walked silently in front of them for 100 ft until they turned down a side street towards the tour bus. decrescendo. anticlimactic. sorry.  it was only then that i had conformation that they were with the band and really had complete conformation when Peter came out on stage. i knew where the tour bus was parked b/c i had scoped it out earlier. at least my creepiness held up in both scenarios.

sending you love,

former fwife now wife

our favorite day of the fortnight!

Posted in Run Da House by

one of the best decisions we made this past year, by far, was signing up for Green Bean Delivery. every other wednesday a bin of fresh, local, organic groceries is delivered to our doorstep and i’m always excited and a little intimidated by what we receive. i say intimidated b/c inevitably we get some veggie or fruit that i haven’t cooked with before. this is one of the main reasons i like the service because it has broadened my cooking and dietary boundaries. the service has so many good features but here’s a quick recap:

1 – completely customizable orders. you can choose your size of delivery and frequency. i choose their smallest produce bin at every other week and it is enough to last our family until our next delivery. actually i don’t think i used to get this exact when i did the produce shopping at the store. the only parameter is that your standing order has to be $35 which is very easy to meet if you are buying produce for a whole household. You can also choose the exact produce you receive if you do have a picky household or some dietary restrictions. i like to let ours be a grab bag b/c i like living dangerously on the edge.

2 – all slash most of the produce/groceries are from local farms and grocers. i feel so much more autonomous getting my groceries from this service versus a large chain supermarket. the main states involved are Indiana and Ohio and those two are at the very top of my list for supporting with my buying power.

3 – you can add additional artisan products that are from local companies such as yogurt, cheese, meat, eggs, even spices, sauces, lunch snacks. really their options are so incredible. they provide bios on all their products so it makes researching the product and the companies a sinch.

4 – did i already mention they deliver to your door? b/c they deliver it to your door. you do have to store the bin for a week but that is pretty easy to do. then just leave the empty bin on delivery day and, viola!, a new bin brimming with delectable items will be waiting for you. it seems like they normally do our delivery between 4-7 pm which insures that it doesn’t sit out too long for those 9-5 folks.

the company started with just Cincinnati, Columbus and Dayton and has quickly branched to include Louisville, Indianapolis and Ft. Wayne. so, if you are reading this from any of the aforementioned areas i highly recommend you check it out. a little added bonus in our household…darla loves to help me unpack the bin :) love. the. girl.