Dear Salty Sailor,

your weekly update is coming atcha early this time b/c in a short span of minutes i’ll be departing for a weekend in hocking hills. your presence is going to be greatly missed. i’m already feeling emotional about it. i’ve transferred our lucky little girl to her lucky grandparents so any further updates on her will have to come from them for the next 4 days. momma needs to breathe some fresh air! momma needs to hike! momma needs to probably, actually lie around and sleep in and drink some box wine with other tired parents escaping their lovable, but exhausting offspring. once again, i will miss you for all of this.

i did a horrible job at recording funny things darla said this week so i’m pulling them all from memory at this point. my tired, frazzled memory. Ok here goes.

she had some of her eating utensils crouched beside the coffee table. she appeared to be “fixing” something as she was using the fork as if it were a wrench. when she noticed me watching her she kinda scrunched her mouth up like the WWII merchant marine poster and said “i work on boats.” i hope you are oh-so-proud of that one. she told me something was “not a big deal” this week and it furthers my disbelief at how our child can be 2 1/2 going on 15. one morning she kept jumping off furniture and the staircase landing. before she would jump she would say “click” and mime strapping herself into something. she would then hold her hands out in front of her as if she was riding a bike and then she would jump off her pedestal of choice. i didn’t interfere for about the first 15 minutes b/c she wasn’t jumping off anything too high or dangerous and forthaloveofzeus she was self-occupied. but then she rolled her eyes and kinda giggled and said “oh, i have to put on my helmet.” then she mimed putting on a helmet before she did the whole routine. i was sufficiently intrigued and asked her what she was doing. she looked at me as if i were a complete dolt and said “i’m hang-gliding.” duh, mom, duh. i wasn’t even aware she knew of such adventures as hang-gliding, but evidently she’s a pro. has the whole safety routine down. the last one is a good one. she slung one of her play purses over her shoulder and told me she was “the mail girl” and that she had to go deliver “blue marshmallow mail.”  then she stopped and said “nooooo, not marshmallow mail. just blue mail.” i really love all the things that go on insider that mind of hers.

other outings of the week included – joni’s baptism, biking to the library and our furthest venture yet – the santa maria, going to a new playground with the burkes, sleepover with elsabun and visit to the kids creativity center at the columbus museum of art, which is really really sweet and all kinds of fun. I even got some time away with a little help from our friends to see me a little live music show. there’s a little story about the show for ya after the little picturesque pics.

i was walking to the newport and had parked several blocks away b/c i was wearing new shoes and outfit and i wanted someone to notice me, dammit! ahem, as i was walking i heard two gentlefolk of the male nature approach behind and began to drop eaves on their loud, ostentatious conversation – “so i told him you guys weren’t available for any radio interviews or interviews of any kind. he wasn’t happy but i said you just weren’t available. blah blah blah.” i noticed both men holding bags of the record album shape and thought for sure this had to be a member of the band and managerial type someone. if you had been with me you mos def would have been able to take one look and realize it was peter moren standing so close to me that i could have snipped a locket of his hair. here’s how the scenario played out in my mind: i immediately turned around 180 degrees and awkwardly stated in a monotone voice slightly 2 decibels to loud “i’m going to your show right now.” they both stopped in their tracks and stared at me scared and uncomfortable. i turned back around and ran awkwardly away. as i ran, all i could think was “i hope they noticed my new heels.”

here’s what actually happened: i walked silently in front of them for 100 ft until they turned down a side street towards the tour bus. decrescendo. anticlimactic. sorry.  it was only then that i had conformation that they were with the band and really had complete conformation when Peter came out on stage. i knew where the tour bus was parked b/c i had scoped it out earlier. at least my creepiness held up in both scenarios.

sending you love,

former fwife now wife

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