Dear Salty Sailor,

hello, love. i’ve gone to california on a big jet plane. i’m sending this off to you west coast time and sorry if i don’t get to post very much the rest of the weekend. i wanna try to stay a little detached from the computer and so much has happened already this week that i think a separate cali post will be in order.

i’m so excited for some west coast friend time! but i already miss darla. and i miss you. our family really needs to spend some time exploring california. and the rest of the country. and the world. mmkay.

this week’s edition of Darla says:

“You’re the mustard and I’m the hotdog, mom.” in reference to her hot dog tee she wore that day.

Staring wistfully at the ceiling, she said “I wish i was a smoke detector.”

whilst riding in the car she started on a ramble and I tuned out. But once it was apparent that she wasn’t talking to me I tuned back in( I know it should be reversed but sometimes that’s how I do). She was recounting her incident at firefly when she fell out of the bounce house, “and then I bounced myself so high I bounced right out of the bounce house. I fell really hard and hurt my head. It was the worst day of my life.” I started cracking up and asked her who she was talking to and she said “the crickets.”

while painting she said “this painting is really good arting.”

at the apple orchard i had to put a wristband on her so the place could keep track of who paid. when i affixed it to her she said “oh yeah, i love that kinda thang!” in this twangy southern accent.

bridget was doing yoga and while she was in downward dog bridget asked “darla what am i doing right now.” darla replied “dog standing.”

we had a kinda of challenging trip to the short north. darla didn’t want to hold hands with either of us so i was giving her a talkdown that she would need to either hold hands or else be carried. she very calmly clasped both her hands together in front of her and walked in a perfectly straight line. cousin and i both burst out laughing and i let her go ahead and walk herself down the street b/c that was a pretty smart move on her part. we moved on to basil for dinner. she got thai sauce all over her hands, and face and everywhere. even on my back. i was sticking to the booth. she looked at her hands and said “i have sticky hands. i’m a tree frog. i’m a one-eyed tree frog.” she then proceeded to stare her one-eye over the top of the booth at a couple having a full on make out sesh on their date. i was trying to get her to sit down and be calm and she started pushing up against me and saying “mom, i need my tiiiiiiiime!” needless to say we tried to make a hasty exit.

on to some pics. it’s the prettiest autumn i can remember so you can expect lots of pituresque fall scenes from us in the next few weeks. then it won’t be long before you’re home! only a month to go. it’s amazing to me sometimes to think i’ve finally gotten so used to this that a month without you doesn’t seem like such a long time.

we’ve been doing a lot of funny faces for our meal times. darla realy digs it. 

that’s all for now my bearded beau. sending you some extra love since now it has to travel an extra 2244 miles. or maybe it will be smart and turn around and go the other direction. hmmm. well i’ll let you figure out the love path since YOU’RE the navigational expert.  

loving you,

wife former fwife

thanks parental units

these are my wonderful parents. a year ago they were watching darla while mike and i honeymooned in salt lake city. now they are watching her again for me so i can take a mommy time out with friends in la la land. thank you so much parents. i love you!

ps. this pic is from a session by my friend jamie last october. i’ll be posting some more from this sesh soon as a “look back” post.

I’m off!!!

I’m off duty for five days and off to california for reunions galore!

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You’ll notice a lack of auntie anne’s pretzel in the above photo. The indianapolis airport did away with my hookup! How can an airport NOT have auntie anne’s? I am nonplussed.

In other airport news – cousin, you will appreciate – I asked the internal scan guy if he would make sure everything looks like it is working all right in there and he sternly replied “security is no joke, ma’am.” sheesh. Airport – 2 Elaine – 0.

But I’m on my way to awesome times with people I love so no matter what the score I STILL WIN. Also, I realize i was whineypants about the pretzels. white whine. Sorry.

mommy did a bad, bad thing

last week i did a bad thing.

like most kids, darla has a habit of leaving her toys strewn about everywhere. most of the time it doesn’t really bother me because i like seeing her little trail all over my life and it’s easier to track her down that way. but last week it got to me.

i was feeling the effects of 2 months of single parenting a toddler that may or may not embody the most multiple personalities ever recorded in human history. there also might be some kind of feral dog in there but i don’t know if that counts as an actual personality. anyway, the point is i let it get to me that day. i tripped over darla’s toy stroller and found myself kicking it across the room the next second. hard. actually it was impressive and i’m a tad upset no one else was there to witness the beautiful arc in which it traveled. on the flip side i’m glad darla wasn’t in the room to see me lose it. well, of course it broke.

and then guess what i did? i just pushed the pieces back together and set it back in it’s rightful place and then thought “maybe she won’t notice.”  what am i? six again? bad parent. BAD PARENT!

a coupla days went by and she didn’t touch the darn thing and i thought i might actually get away with replacing it before she checked in. no such luck. while i was cooking her breakfast i heard her tell her doll that they were “going to the grocery store” and then she started wheeling baby dearest around the living room. the leg gave out and then my daughter gave out.

darla came running to me with tears welling up in her eyes. “mommy, i broke my stroller. i’m sorry, mommy. i’m sorry.” i never could have predicted this reaction from her because ANY other time she would have paid no attention. but life was out to teach me a lesson. and for that i’m glad.

“i’m sorry, honey” i started to say and then she snapped back “no! i’m sorry!” and had an argument with me for a second about who was sorry because she’s started this thing where being sorry is some kind of competition. this is our house, after all, and things couldn’t go all leave-it-to-beaver without a little rumble.  so i picked her up and sat down on the couch with her and confessed that i had broken her stroller. that i didn’t mean to but i broke it and i didn’t tell her right away and that was wrong of me.

then she looked up at me with baby blues and humbled me. “it’s alright, mom. don’t worry about it.”

you see, i had to put this down here on the internet for some accountability. not for what i had done but because someday these roles are gonna switch. probably someday soon. it won’t be long before darla breaks my owl shaped coffee creamer pitcher (thanks dave and kelli!) and i HAVE to remember to handle it with the grace and compassion that my 2 1/2 year old displayed. i have to. hold me accountable internet.

also, grandparents – i know you. you’re probably already looking up a replacement doll stroller on amazon. well, clickers off that purchase button. this is my wrong to right.

a brush with bacterial meningitis

it seems that in addition to sense of humor, complexion, facial expressions, hair color and basic bone structure, cousin and i share an acute case of hypochondriasis. don’t be alarmed. it wasn’t a real brush with meningitis. probably just allergies. but anything is possible when you have a bag of hot apples in your kitchen and have been laughing way too much for three days.

my cousin always lifts my spirits and makes me feel like anything is possible. i joke with her that the reason i like hanging out with her is we’re the same person and since i’m incredibly self-centered i really like being with another me. the truth is she’s a way cooler and more talented “me” and i feed off of that. it inspires me. beyond that she was very helpful with the practical stuff this weekend and didn’t flinch when darla went animalistic, biting furniture, etc. i’m already looking forward to our next visit. thank you cousinfriend!

photo info: 1. cousin’s room awaits her  2. cousin helps out with naptime storyland  3 & 4. dress up at funky & functional  5 & 6. darla and henry discover corn in the foddershocks 7. my schnoze 8. darla stealing fun 9. mother daughter matching 10. darla rides a barreltrain 11 & 12. pumpkin patching 13. darla and adam find a worm 14. cousin race 15. henry finds the great pumpkin 16. adam and darla picking apples 17 & 18. cousin bridget’s art lessons. 19. “painting is good arting, mom” 20. darla’s pallette  21. mommy’s bad at everything  22. can you guess whose is whose?  23. bobbing for apples is way hard b/c laughing underwater is never portrayed in disney movies  24. we call this “stolen apple pie”  25. roasted butternut squash  26 & 27. back to the groovy spoon for farewells.

on a further note, we did a loose P day. whoa that sounds wrong. anyways, we covered P a bit with pumpkin patch, apple picking, painting, apple pie and patience! i think we’ll need a remedial session though as i was a bit distracted and trying to be a social butterfly.

the remains of the day

there’s really only one thing to do in columbus ohio on columbus day with a toddler…take her down to the replica of the santa maria and try to fill her tiny brain with the knowledge of christobo columbo while she screams at you that she wants to go in the port-a-potty “just to see what it looks like.”

our bike ride this evening was borderline magical. i think we passed a unicorn in the audubon park. we paused along the scioto to see the pink fluffy clouds reflecting on the river. i hope darla will remember this evening in some little recess of her brain for the rest of her life.

Happy Columbus Day from Columbus!

i hope you all are enjoying an extra day off of work. i’d like to share our extra special columbus day cosmic cousin breakfast with you:

apple pie topped with whipped cream and jellybeans and a white chocolate covered nutter butter cookie. best breakfast ever or worst breakfast ever to feed a child? you decide. but momma’s feeling in a good mood because of a magical cosmic cousin visit so errrrbody’s reaping the rewards. looking forward to sharing more of our weekend adventures with you.

wuv. true wuv. part 3.

and now it’s time to party…

well that’s it. when i look back over these pictures i can’t believe it was a year ago, today. it seems simultaneously so long ago but just yesterday. what i really can’t believe is how this wedding was ever pulled off and how it came together as lovely as it did. i was an organizational mess! i didn’t give anyone any direction. i’m astounded at how lovely our photos are when i didn’t really give mary catherine any direction or input or anything! you’ll notice we don’t have any organized photos of family and barely any of the bridal party. i’m very sorry. i wish i could have been a little more organized but there’s nothing i can do about it now. i wish we could throw a wedding every year and get to do all the details over again.

i want to say a big thank you to my parents, mike’s parents and our wedding party for all the work and thought they put into our big day. we are so grateful for everything you put together for us on our wedding weekend. james crothers, if you’re reading this then please know that i’ve cried like TWICE in the past coupla weeks thinking about the fact that you performed our ceremony.

i feel so incredibly fortunate. that’s what that day instilled in me. the blessings and fortunes of this small life i lead. my husband and daughter are my world and it was an honor to share that with everyone for one day. i honestly feel so lucky that darla got to witness mike and i being wed. more than witness, she was really the star of the show. just like in our life. sharing this day with everyone was very important to mike and i. in my heart, i’ve been married to mike since July 5, 2007. to me, the day wasn’t about binding ourselves to one another and “from this day forward” vows because that had been done long before. our wedding was about bringing others into the love that we have for each other. i think that was accomplished.

to mike, i can’t put into words what you already know. i can’t say anything that will do it justice. i love you. elephant shoes and olive juice. happy anniversary.

wuv. true wuv. part 1.

a year ago i was a bundle of nerves and excitement and feeling extremely overwhelmed. a year ago i was practically swimming in love and well wishes from friends and family that had come from all over the country. a year ago this weekend i was having the best time of my entire life. a year ago….i was probably drunk already. just keeping it honest.

here’s some of my fave pics of the weekend. there are so many we’ll just have to make this a 3 part post.

all photos are the talent of mary catherine hamelin