mommy did a bad, bad thing

last week i did a bad thing.

like most kids, darla has a habit of leaving her toys strewn about everywhere. most of the time it doesn’t really bother me because i like seeing her little trail all over my life and it’s easier to track her down that way. but last week it got to me.

i was feeling the effects of 2 months of single parenting a toddler that may or may not embody the most multiple personalities ever recorded in human history. there also might be some kind of feral dog in there but i don’t know if that counts as an actual personality. anyway, the point is i let it get to me that day. i tripped over darla’s toy stroller and found myself kicking it across the room the next second. hard. actually it was impressive and i’m a tad upset no one else was there to witness the beautiful arc in which it traveled. on the flip side i’m glad darla wasn’t in the room to see me lose it. well, of course it broke.

and then guess what i did? i just pushed the pieces back together and set it back in it’s rightful place and then thought “maybe she won’t notice.”  what am i? six again? bad parent. BAD PARENT!

a coupla days went by and she didn’t touch the darn thing and i thought i might actually get away with replacing it before she checked in. no such luck. while i was cooking her breakfast i heard her tell her doll that they were “going to the grocery store” and then she started wheeling baby dearest around the living room. the leg gave out and then my daughter gave out.

darla came running to me with tears welling up in her eyes. “mommy, i broke my stroller. i’m sorry, mommy. i’m sorry.” i never could have predicted this reaction from her because ANY other time she would have paid no attention. but life was out to teach me a lesson. and for that i’m glad.

“i’m sorry, honey” i started to say and then she snapped back “no! i’m sorry!” and had an argument with me for a second about who was sorry because she’s started this thing where being sorry is some kind of competition. this is our house, after all, and things couldn’t go all leave-it-to-beaver without a little rumble.  so i picked her up and sat down on the couch with her and confessed that i had broken her stroller. that i didn’t mean to but i broke it and i didn’t tell her right away and that was wrong of me.

then she looked up at me with baby blues and humbled me. “it’s alright, mom. don’t worry about it.”

you see, i had to put this down here on the internet for some accountability. not for what i had done but because someday these roles are gonna switch. probably someday soon. it won’t be long before darla breaks my owl shaped coffee creamer pitcher (thanks dave and kelli!) and i HAVE to remember to handle it with the grace and compassion that my 2 1/2 year old displayed. i have to. hold me accountable internet.

also, grandparents – i know you. you’re probably already looking up a replacement doll stroller on amazon. well, clickers off that purchase button. this is my wrong to right.