— on pause —

Posted in Momma Needs a minute... by ElaineMarie

this feels like a life in limbo. i feel rooted to the ground, unable to make movement in any direction until this new being is born. there are so many things, goals, i would like to be working towards but for some reason, i can’t. it feels like someone is not only inhabiting my body but taking up my brain as well, giving me only enough power to get from day-to-day and remain focused on bringing this new life here.

and while i understand this is the way nature has designed and intended it to be for me as a mother, it still leaves me feeling inadequate. i want to make so much out of this life and it seems like i’m always out of reach of my goals. i need to seek the serenity that will help me be satisfied with the here and now instead of constantly longing for my life to be somehow different.

being unable to move is so terribly exhausting. i mean this both figuratively and literally. i can’t move my body in the ways i’d like anymore. i can’t move my mind with the agility i used to have. i feel that i can’t move my life in the direction i’d like it to go. i just don’t have the energy. and i don’t know when i will again.

i’m seeking some positive energy to be at peace with this life on pause. i’m seeking solace in knowing that it really is only for a short while. i’m seeking the willingness to accept my powerlessness over my life in these next few weeks. i want to invoke the magnificence of the current moment into my consciousness and forget about the future.

if only the rest of the world could join me in doing so…

28Jun2014

raspberry picking

Posted in advantageous adventures, it's cool to school, pregnancy, yum yum eat good by ElaineMarie

when i was a young girl it was my job to pick the berry bushes outside the back of our house. i find it rather funny that i pay people now to let me do it at their house, when i acted like it was SUCH A HARD CHORE back in my youth. but still, it does take me back to that time in my life and i hope darla will look back fondly at going to the berry fields with me since we don’t own our yard to plant berry bushes and give her the chore of berry picking.

well, she didn’t look on it very fondly today, that’s for sure. last year it was a novelty. this year it was one of those things her ol’ pregnant mom dragged her along for. so, i eventually just handed her my phone and told her she could just take pictures if she wasn’t interested in picking and i’m glad i did because she had a few good ones in there amongst the hundred or so she snapped away. it’s nice to have some pics of the big bump amongst the berries. i especially love the second photo, which isn’t that flattering of an angle for me or facial expression but it accurately depicts how it was out there: hot, sticky and pretty uncomfortable but incredibly gorgeous and so worth it.

worth it because i got my first taste of black raspberries. i’m 100% telling the truth when i say that i’ve been having anxiety that this baby will come during black raspberry season and i’ll miss out entirely. this was still pretty early for my black beauties but we got enough to wet my whistle for the taste and leave me satisfied should this human come before we can get back to the ripe patches next week. i will type it in all caps again because i’m serious that BLACK RASPBERRIES ARE MY CHILDHOOD ENCAPSULATED IN FOOD FORM AND I LOVE THEM.

{ people of central ohio, if i could send you anywhere for your raspberry needs it would mitchell’s berries. they are simply lovely, affordable and delicious. tell them we sent you on your next visit! }

27Jun2014

our week

Posted in familyness, love and happiness by ElaineMarie

small

collection

of moments

from our week…

^^^ early morning uno games ^^^

^^^ sore loser ^^^

^^^ but she won at go fish so don’t feel too bad for her ^^^

^^^ if only i had a dollar for every time this kid painted herself blue ^^^

^^^ craft time with dad ^^^

^^^ she ate most of an entire watermelon herself ^^^

i don’t have words or stories from the week to share at this point. that’s kinda what summer does to us, huh? it steals our words and demands we just live it until we head back to school in the fall and write out those “what i did this summer” essays. i look forward to that first crisp day when it will all seem so clear as to what these hazy, lazy days of summer are all about. until then we’ll take slow mornings. we’ll take these long daylight hours by the pool. we’ll take these watermelon afternoons. we’ll take all that we can get.

*wishing you a watermelon afternoon {or two} of your own this weekend*

hi all, please give us your vote for the week by clicking the vote for us icon below. thanks for your help!

26Jun2014

bump day

Posted in i dig music, pregnancy by ElaineMarie

who wore it best edition.

cast your vote! who wears this pretenders tank sweatshirt a la josh brolin in goonies the best???

contestants:

^^^ mike ^^^

^^^ phil collins ^^^

^^^ elaine ^^^

^^^ alaina moore ^^^

^^^ or wrucker bump? ^^^

Send in your vote today!

25Jun2014

pregnancy eats

Posted in pregnancy, yum yum eat good by ElaineMarie

postpartum planning and fresh produce availability are converging at one time to make my pregnancy eats focus directed a little more towards the post-pregnancy period. the garden is starting to yield and so are the farms in central ohio. i’ve been gradually putting away freezer items and have gotten into some canning with our lovely neighbor. i still have quite a bit to put away before i will feel satisfactorily prepared but any progress is good progress, right?

so, we’ve put away some

^^^ cilantro lime rice ^^^

^^^ taco pickles ^^^

lentil tacos

salsa chicken

and

vegetable marinara

^^^ d has been doing her own preserving, making teas and drying bunches from bolted cilantro ^^^

but that’s all i’ve got so far. this is where i need help. i have some ideas like making some crockpot pulled chicken and more taco meat but i need ideas. pinterest is chock full of them but it’s hard to know if a recipe is going to be a bust or not based on the internet so, i am asking you to leave a comment with your tried and true pinterest link for your favorite freezer meals {or any recipe link will do} so i can add it to my board and get some more variety going in our freezer. healthy and cheap options are always good.

and please someone ease my guilt and tell me that i get a zero waste free pass since this is the first time i’ve bought plastic storage bags in at least 3 years? i tried to figure out a way to zero waste this process but there is only so much one mama mind can take on at one time…

thanks in advance for your help!

24Jun2014

avoiding maternity clothes

Posted in pregnancy by ElaineMarie

how i did this week avoiding maternity clothes…with a little help from my friends.

this weeks post is a tribute to a few people who popped up in life to say “hey, i have some flowy, fabricy garments. you can put them on your big body if you’d like!” it was nice to have my maternity wardrobe double in size.

^^^ prairie dress. i pretended i was a pregnant laura ingalls wilder ^^^

^^^ i love the look of a belt cinched above a baby bump ^^^

^^^ story about this shirt: i was literally walking around my house in just pants, bra and support tank top sulking to myself that i didn’t have any shirts left to fit over my body when i said “i wonder what is in this package that just arrived from my aunt?” it contained this shirt, which happens to be my power color this pregnancy, and also happens to be non-maternity and comfortable as heck. i love my family’s cosmic ways. oh and the flower was added by darla just before i left for work. she said it made me look like a beautiful senorita. how could i not wear it then? ^^^

^^^ and i’m so in love with this red dress ^^^

so thank you to those of you who gifted/loaned me something in this past week or two. i have definitely put it to good use. wish me luck with this week!

23Jun2014

weekending

Posted in familyness, weekending by ElaineMarie

i didn’t get a weekend post written out last night, as some lower back pain sent me to bed early and drained. to be honest, i was wondering if it was going to progress to some early labor but i woke up this morning still full-bellied, if not fully rested.

for midsummer’s weekend we:

took in a show downtown while darla played in the fountains,

walked down the street for a family breakfast date

and i got to gaze at my handsome husband over diner coffee.

darla, the bump and i attended the pride festivities.

and darla was given a rainbow hair extension, which rocked her world.

we made balloon animals

and picked up a local themed onesie for bebe

and other than that we just hung around our house and darla stalked the neighbors…

solstice comes around every year and i always tell myself i’m going to have something appropriate planned for the next one. i love summer solstice. it really does feel like there is something special in the air on the first eve of summer. but it came and went again this year without anything special going on for our crew.

maybe next year i will have more energy. maybe next year i will have more time. maybe next year i will have been able to have spent more time fostering relationships and friendships so as to have friends that might actually want to spend summer solstice with us. what do you think? do you think these are realistic goals for a woman about to have a baby?

*anyway, i hope you spent your solstice out under the stars. good luck with your first full week of summer*

21Jun2014

what will this babe be like?

Posted in pregnancy by ElaineMarie

^^^ the outfit we brought darla home in, including my baby hat my parents brought me home in ^^^

i spend a good deal of time belly gazing these days, thinking and imagining what this little person is going to look like and be like. i actually sit around and change the lyrics from the sound of music to what will this babe be like, i wonder? like i’m maria von trapp.

it’s funny to know so much about a little person, yet so little at the same time. i know that this human likes to be up all night. i know that this person likes the sound of his/her sister’s voice. i know this person might just be slightly less rambunctious than miss darla marie.

but that is it at this point. i guess there isn’t much to this little one yet. this person is still part of me, an extension really. and yet he or she is going to come earthside and have a unique path very soon.

who will this little person become?

will he be like the rest of us? will this baby have dimples? will she be another strawberry blonde like miss d and me or might she get her daddy’s brown locks? will this baby like watching sound of music with me? b/c big sis has been a disappointment in that department thus far.

i think i’m getting more and more ready to find out with each day that passes. when i look at that belly up there i get the same wave of awe come over me that i feel when i look at a seed or an acorn. the potential for perpetual life on this planet is just astounding to me. the sheer multitude of possibilities encased in each egg on this earth is humbling. have you ever stopped to think about the fact that there are as many different options for life paths as there have been humans born of this earth and will always be? that makes the fact that we sit around and argue about ways of living so ridiculous. life is incredibly abundant with us. if only we could stop closing doors on ourselves…

i’m thankful to partake of this abundance. i’m humbled to perpetuate it.

“Women can change better’n a man,” Ma said soothingly. “Woman got all her life in her arms. Man got it all in his head.”
“Man, he lives in jerks-baby born an’ a man dies, an’ that’s a jerk-gets a farm and looses his farm, an’ that’s a jerk. Woman, its all one flow, like a stream, little eddies, little waterfalls, but the river, it goes right on. Woman looks at it like that. We ain’t gonna die out. People is goin’ on-changin’ a little, maybe, but goin’ right on.”
― John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath

21Jun2014

postpartum gifts

Posted in Shopping by ElaineMarie

because i’m always thinking of others, i decided i might just make it easy on everyone, all the many people, who might be wondering what they could bring me as the perfect postpartum, push present gift so i made a list. ahem:

1. artisanal butter

2. houseplants. any of these would be fine…

houseplants

3. a wrap from kokoro textiles. not that i need any more baby carriers but the turquoise fan print IS my power color…

4. dipes

5. wipes

6. donuts

7. the wonder years dvd box set

8. some black raspberries and/or oliver blackberry wine

9. diamonds { shoot for the moon, right? }

10. butter. did i say butter?

20Jun2014

our week

Posted in familyness, love and happiness, parenting apparently? by ElaineMarie

a
small
collection
of moments
from our week

someone sent around an article from the internet about ctfo parenting for the summer time and it has greatly eased my mind this week. i’ve been feeling guilty about not having our days filled to the brim with activities and unschooling field trips this year. but my feeling for this week is that we’re doing all right. if we accomplish nothing else but getting to the fruit fields, cooking up something delicious with our friends in the kitchen, playing with lincoln logs, or hosing ourselves down in the yard then we’re just fine. it might even be the best summer yet.

don’t get me wrong, we’re always busy but we’re just not on the go as much. and we certainly won’t be picking up any speed in the coming weeks. i’m ok with slowing it down for a bit. do you ever have those moments when you realize life has been a beautiful, whirlwind mess for the past couple of years? we deserve a bit of a familymoon, a babymoon if you will, here this summer.

so darla has predicted we’ll have a summer solstice baby. i wouldn’t be opposed to that. however, i’m happy to have a few more days with just my one girl before breaking this open for two little ones in my life. we’ve had some really good days as of late.

and…strawberry picking was hilarious. darla managed to get herself on camera for a local news crew. they cut the piece, i think. probably because of the big ol’ sweaty pregnant lady in the background but it was fun to see D have that experience. or maybe they cut it after she took her shirt off in the field and flipped “my body, my choice” at me when i asked her if it was necessary. and that second photo is of her showing me that she’s a strawberry blonde. she’s a great daily companion.

* i hope you had a wonderful week. wishing you all a magical solstice this weekend.*

hi all, please give us your vote for the week by clicking the vote for us icon below. thanks for your help!