our week

a
small
collection
of moments
from our week

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^^^ crafting on the porch ^^^

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^^^ pollacking on the porch ^^^

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^^^ unschooling the franklin park conservatory ^^^

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^^^ “mom, i want our house to look just like this jungle!” ^^^

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^^^ nature walk treasure ^^^

 

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^^^ and i continued to grow a human ^^^

if this were a face-to-face convo this would be the point where i would deflect and say “let’s talk about how you’re doing” because i’m just kinda all over the place. the week was beautiful and i’m glad i snapped these photos of our outings and life because i can’t pull my head out of my pregnant ass sometimes. it’s so hard to focus on anything else other than getting this baby here.

i know my whole family is feeling stretched right now.  i look around and i just see all these humans that are stretched so thin. but maybe i’m projecting and seeing that everywhere because it’s how i’m feeling. i tried to really take it easy this week. and it was nice to stay at home a lot. darla did her own things, mostly on the front porch. i spent a lot of time there too soaking in the air and sunshine. soaking in the feelings of just being. but i cannot escape this encumbered feeling. it makes everything feel so heavy.

maybe i’m on the brink here because i feel like all i want to do for this weekend is walk and walk and walk until i can’t anymore. it’s that very animalistic feeling taking over because i feel like this body has to do something. i feel like the tigress pacing back and forth before i slink off to find a place of solitude. please send me good vibes for finding some time to work these things out of my body and mind over these next few days.

*wishing you all the best for the things you wish to work out over the weekend, whatever they may be*

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pregnancy and body image

pregnant pool lady

dear baby,

i wrote this post a year ago, roughly.  and now i want to write a quite different post.

i want to write a post in gratitude, rejoicing in the confidence being pregnant has brought back to me about my body. i don’t really recognize that person, or that voice from that post a year ago. who wrote that? certainly not this lady! because this lady says: i can wear whatever the hell i want and i look good while i’m at it.

being pregnant makes me feel so feminine and powerful and in control of my body. i know that is not the case for some but fortunately it is for me.

we’ve spent much of these last weeks of pregnancy poolside and i’ve drawn upon that confidence about my body in a way that i’m sure i wouldn’t have last year.  my legs aren’t shaved. who cares?  my suits don’t fit quite right. whatevs!  i’m huge and have fatty thighs and spider veins. not a big deal!

if anyone has had a problem with it, it really has been no cause for concern of mine. i’m guessing that if anyone has been unsettled by my appearance they’ve just kept their opinion to themselves which is exactly where negative thoughts can be kept: to their owner, poisoning his/her own mind.

which brings up another positive for me; now that i am back in a mental place where i love and revere my body, i look more favorably upon others as well. i see a beauty there that was lost to me for a while. and really, i mostly don’t find it any of my business to have an opinion about another person’s body and physique.

it is so freeing and nice. the world is a much nicer place when you love yourself and feel positive about the person you are. it’s just nice.

and i’m thankful to you, baby, and this pregnancy for bringing me back to this place. it’s regrettable that i drifted away from here for some time but i’m glad to be back now.

{universe, please help me hold on to it this time.}

because i’m sure i will have you soon, {right?} and drop some weight and become able to reach my legs again for shaving and what not but from here on out those personal appearance things will be for me and will not be about avoiding negative thoughts from others.

weekending

galaxy girl

^^^ we are made of star stuff ^^^

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^^^ can you not? that probably has lead in it ^^^

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^^^ doo dah anti-parade parade. my favorite thing that happens annually in columbus ^^^

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^^^ we all geeked for these glasses ^^^

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^^^ obligatory ^^^

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^^^ still waiting…^^^

movies projected onto the garage under the stars, parades, hang time with family and friends, extra chill time together and alone, goofing off as a family, preparing for baby and waiting. beautiful weather, family walks. more waiting. this is the stuff our weekend was made of.  i felt recharged and even spent a little time dreaming about the future this weekend. trying to remind myself to keep my mind and heart open to all the possibilities the universe holds.

* i hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend! *

our week

a

small

collection

of moments

from our week…

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^^^ juiciest. i think i swallowed a watermelon seed. ^^^

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^^^ back to the berry patch ^^^

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^^^ where there’s fruit… ^^^

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^^^ there are fruit flies ^^^

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^^^ feather brain ^^^

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^^^ my spot at the pool ^^^

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^^^ we had A LOT of fairy action this week ^^^

weeks like this one make me grateful for the end of the week round up. it’s easy to forget just how lovely life is during your everyday hustle & bustle.  not much more to say here. just taking some quiet reflection time over this past week, listening to wind and chimes outside the open window, thankful for a great morning with my family.

*sending you patriotic vibes for the freedom of your heart and the liberty of your soul. i hope you get some cake in there somewhere along the way, too.*

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our week

a

small

collection

of moments

from our week…

 card game

^^^ early morning uno games ^^^

sore loser

^^^ sore loser ^^^

go fish

^^^ but she won at go fish so don’t feel too bad for her ^^^

smurfling

^^^ if only i had a dollar for every time this kid painted herself blue ^^^

craft time with dad

^^^ craft time with dad ^^^

double melon

^^^ she ate most of an entire watermelon herself ^^^

i don’t have words or stories from the week to share at this point. that’s kinda what summer does to us, huh? it steals our words and demands we just live it until we head back to school in the fall and write out those “what i did this summer” essays. i look forward to that first crisp day when it will all seem so clear as to what these hazy, lazy days of summer are all about. until then we’ll take slow mornings. we’ll take these long daylight hours by the pool. we’ll take these watermelon afternoons. we’ll take all that we can get.

*wishing you a watermelon afternoon {or two} of your own this weekend*

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our week

a
small
collection
of moments
from our week
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someone sent around an article from the internet about ctfo parenting for the summer time and it has greatly eased my mind this week. i’ve been feeling guilty about not having our days filled to the brim with activities and unschooling field trips this year. but my feeling for this week is that we’re doing all right.  if we accomplish nothing else but getting to the fruit fields, cooking up something delicious with our friends in the kitchen, playing with lincoln logs, or hosing ourselves down in the yard then we’re just fine. it might even be the best summer yet.

don’t get me wrong, we’re always busy but we’re just not on the go as much. and we certainly won’t be picking up any speed in the coming weeks. i’m ok with slowing it down for a bit. do you ever have those moments when you realize life has been a beautiful, whirlwind mess for the past couple of years? we deserve a bit of a familymoon, a babymoon if you will, here this summer.

so darla has predicted we’ll have a summer solstice baby. i wouldn’t be opposed to that. however, i’m happy to have a few more days with just my one girl before breaking this open for two little ones in my life. we’ve had some really good days as of late.

and…strawberry picking was hilarious. darla managed to get herself on camera for a local news crew. they cut the piece, i think. probably because of the big ol’ sweaty pregnant lady in the background but it was fun to see D have that experience. or maybe they cut it after she took her shirt off in the field and flipped “my body, my choice” at me when i asked her if it was necessary. and that second photo is of her showing me that she’s a strawberry blonde. she’s a great daily companion.

* i hope you had a wonderful week. wishing you all a magical solstice this weekend.*

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this girl and our week

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before i jump into the goodness from this week i want to take a minute to put some words down about this girl above. these weeks have been very challenging for me. i wanted to give darla the best of me for these last few weeks of her only-child existence. i wanted to give her an amazing last summer together. i feel i’m falling way short on these expectations. i feel so stretched, in every figurative and literal way. i am not giving her the best of myself. i’m trying but we get to the middle of the day and i’m completely used up. she has so many qualities that are going to be huge assets when she is older but they thoroughly exhaust and aggravate me to the core during our everyday life. i need some reminders for myself:

stop. these are her last few weeks of onliness. put the to do list down. make your time with her count.

breathe. don’t wish away these last few weeks of pregnancy. by your designs, this is your last pregnancy. i know you’re tired and uncomfortable but very soon it will be over and you may never feel this body transformation again.

relax. in the end it will be ok. it always is.

there, i have those down there now. only future me knows if i will do a good job following my own advice.

now,

a

small

collection

of moments

from our week…

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we joined the world in strawberry picking this week. seriously, did everyone quit their jobs and head off into the fields? last year we were amongst a handful of people in the fields and this year it was a mob scene. granted, it was the very tail end of the strawberry season when we made it out last year but i think it’s safe to say U-pick is having it’s time in the sun {pun! produce pun!} at this time and i for one, couldn’t be happier. it was nice to see so many people investing in local produce, many with their own reusable containers. zero waste wins! {ps. we used one of our leftover bulk peanut butter buckets for this year. last year i cut the top off an old milk carton. take a look around at what you have at home before heading off to U-pick this year.} we found a little slug buddy whom darla carried around for a while and had a hard time understanding why he couldn’t come home as a pet.

our local library branch had a farm pets day which made for a perfect pit stop during a rainy afternoon.

we also ventured to the rose garden for our annual park of roses visit. D had chosen to wear her rose garden dress for the outing and was pretty tickled when butterflies mistook her garments for the real thing. i really should have taken the photo of her face instead of the butterfly but it was too late. the look on her face is what i really want to remember from that moment though.

*that’s a wrap on our week.  i hope you had a wonderful week and weekend as well*

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