labor | momjeanz

i know a good many of you have probably been wondering about that second birth experience. it’s taken me a couple of days to get life back in a rhythm, find time to write, and process the whole experience.

i wish i could give you a birth story, but it’s not my story to tell. so i will tell you what i can. i will tell you what’s in my heart.

i write and gravitate a lot towards natural birth. i believe in the power of mommas bodies. i believe in the wonderful dance mothers and their babies do to bring a new life into the world that we have termed labor. i know that i may come across as if i think mothers who choose natural birth are powerful she-woman warriors, because i do.

but now i have learned and witnessed another kind of power, another kind of strength that i hadn’t given its due credit until now. i haven’t had a ton of experience and i think somehow the universe knew which window to open and let me see through for my second experience. to give me more perspective and a well-rounded mindset moving forward. the last line from the excerpt i posted last week keeps ringing in my head: mothers and nature always find a way.

i’ve known all along that being a support person means supporting all kinds of births be they natural, interventive or surgical. even though i have my own personal philosophies, my biggest philosophy is that every couple gets to make their own birth decisions and deserve to be supported through those decisions. i just haven’t had a chance to actually practice what i preach too much.

i’ve now seen the kind of strength it takes to be able to reset and reconfigure when things don’t all go according to plan, because more often than not it’s not going to. i’ve seen the strength it takes for a couple to quickly shift from one path to another. i have to say that i’m a very stubborn person and i don’t know if i would have been able to recalculate with as much grace and acceptance as what i saw this past week. i would have thrown a stubborn aries fit. i would have had an emotional breakdown. i am very lucky neither of these parents were like me. mothers who can shift and accept a different path to birth their babies are powerful she-woman warriors, too. mothers find a way.

i’ve seen the strength it takes to face complications with positivity.

i was reminded that i am going to be very privileged to witness couples at their best. i don’t have a ton of births under my belt but i’m kinda getting the feeling that couples are at their best in labor. at least i hope. maybe i’ve just been lucky to see two great couples give birth. but i can say that i think i will be hard-pressed to find a husband and birth partner more supportive than what i witnessed last week. i’m willing to keep doing this to find out though…

to my friends: thank you a million times over for allowing me to support you through your labor. your fortitude astounded me. your love and support for one another was amazing. i know how lucky i am to have been there. i just have a feeling that starts at my core and radiates out to every fiber of my being that everything will be ok with time. these early complications will fall away and be but memories.

your beautiful baby is one lucky girl to get to have you as parents. aaannd i’m already jealous of her hair. i’ll show her how to shake it one day ;-)

all my love and admiration, your doulette

see what i did there? i took kindergarten and changed it to kinderbirthin’ and it works as kinder birthing too. awwwww shucks.

that really sums up the workshop though. kinder birthing. i hope i can keep that as one of my focus points as i get more involved. it’s all about kinder birthing for mom, dad and little tiny babes. also, i’m aware that kinder may or may not be an acceptable english word.

you may think doulas only support women who are having non-interventive birth. this correlation can be attributed to the fact that many women find the support and companionship of other women during her birth essential should she choose to forgo medication. but, doulas are also relevant for medicated births and cesareans. studies show that what happens to a woman emotionally matters more to her than what happens physically during labor and birth.

we learned a little more about the etymology of the word doula which is more than what you’ll find on wikipedia if you’re going to go look it up right now. it will say that doula is greek for female slave but it’s a little more than that. a doula was a woman who entered into servitude voluntarily and vowed to serve only one woman, her mistress. she took care of her mistress’ daily needs and was in turn given room, board and protection. these bonds were usually very long lasting. it’s touching to see how this term has evolved and integrated to childbirth today. i think it’s beautifully fitting.

if you are expecting please take the time to consider having a doula or at least meeting with a doula for an interview. if you’re in central ohio or indiana then consider having me as your doula! i wanna see you push a baby outta your lady regions! not many people are going to say that to you (maybe not even your partner) but i am. so take me up on it.

i just stumbled onto this on the interwebs while researching doulas and midwives and all i can say is WOW. lots of info and kinda dense at times but well worth a read. also artistically beautiful. as with the ina may book i recommended here, there are bits of this zine that don’t sit right with me and probably won’t with most of you either. but at least let those parts make you think.

Outlaw Midwives Volume 1