i turned into the aisle. it was cold. the lights above shone down harshly, foreshadowing the weight and finality of the decision i was about to make. the bare shelves of the aisle seemed as bones to me, bones left out in the sun as a warning to others that to take this path meant certain ruin.

i glanced down the aisle, a deserted, barren wasteland of a place where few others dared to venture anymore. one lone sole stood huddled close to the shelves at the other end. i willed myself to place one foot in front of the other, slowly, surely, cautiously casting glances to what was surrounding me. i was approaching a young gentleman wearing black-rimmed glasses with just a touch of grey peppering his temples. he picked up a loaf, squeezed it ever so gently and then lifted it to his nose and took a small whiff in. he was too engrossed in this monumental task to notice my witness until i was almost upon him.

suddenly his eyes looked up and met mine. “which…which one do i choose?” his slightly, panic-glazed eyes said to mine. “i thought you would know” my round, searching eyes answered back. “me? i thought you would know!” his eyes answered. but they had changed into the wild, roving eyes an animal wears when it’s backed into a corner. “no! you were the one who was supposed to know!” my eyes shouted back.

and then we stood there, eyes locked for just a second as the sadness and emptiness washed over us. we stood there, staring into the pupils of a stranger as we realized the cold truth our eyes echoed back to each other “no one knows what kind of bread to buy.”

finally, our gaze broke. this interaction had really only lasted on the verge of 2 seconds but it had seemed like an eternity. we hurriedly glanced away, wanting to hide from the pain – whole wheat, multi grain, gluten-free, organic…it didn’t matter. the harsh reality has been revealed to us: that by feeding our families bread we are feeding them poison and there is no escaping it.

the gravity of this set upon me and my pace quickened. i could not reason my way out of this aisle. i could not stop my thoughts from racing and my heart was keeping pace. and then it happened:

my heart exploded and i died right there on the floor of that aisle.

the research is true: BREAD KILLS.