hi friends,

i’m fresh back from a really wonderful and beautiful celebration of life for my cousin. seriously, nobody does a wake like my family. i kept thinking to myself “is it irreverent how much i’m looking forward to this funeral?”  maybe. maybe not. but i can tell you that at the family dinner after the services i kept waiting for the dj to show up and everyone to start dancing. and i think my cousin would have wanted it to be EXACTLY like that. birth and death are sacred and it’s an honor to take place in a celebration of life the likes of this past weekend.

but, as i mentioned before it is now time to move forward with purpose.

and as to be expected the passing of my cousin has left questions and emotions floating around in various spaces of my body and i’m examining life a little more. part of that examination involves these writings, this blog.

what is my message? what do i want to accomplish with this space?

i can’t even recall why i started this blog. it might have been to have an outlet during my single-parenting days. it might have been a creative exercise. it might have been in hopes to become successful and make a small amount of money {cough yeah right cough} and help support my family. it was most likely because i think myself hilarious and all-knowing and thought the world NEEDED to hear my wit and wisdom. and maybe, just maybe, it was because i was lonely. maybe it’s because becoming a mother and a wife have been the hardest things i’ve ever had to do and i had to work on it through writing about it. i had to make it look pretty for myself so i didn’t feel like a failure at the two biggest roles of my life.

whatever the reasons for starting, i’m in it. 2 years in it and i’m reexamining my message and purpose. i think i’ve never had a clear idea of what i want this space to be. i’ve dabbled in lots of directions. it’s time to focus and make sure what i’m putting out there is a reflection of my life and message. i’ve fallen prey to watching to see what draws readers to my page. i think i’ve put stuff out there that might have betrayed my inner self, my organic inner self that is. my superficial self likes to shop and posts about buying stuff. but my organic inner self knows that i have all that i need. i hope i’ve become more of a reflection of that in this space.

so what will this space be about?:

my family. earthy and birthy inspiration. love. spiritual connection. giving my child experiences instead of material items. my parenting evolution. supporting and sharing that which i believe in. wild and crazy things my girl does and says. hopefully more travel and music. my efforts to live environmentally conscious.  and stuff that i think might make you think i’m cool….really.

i ask you to help me keep this space authentic. if i write something that strikes a chord {or a discord} please voice yourself in my comments and make yourself a part of my space. if i write something you like, please share with others. if i write something that seems like i’m being a big tool bag, call me on it. if i write something that leads you to judge me and makes you shake your head at my far out thinking then I invite you to do just that. for some reason you need room to do that in your life and just possibly through reading my heartfelt words we’ll all become a little more open in the head and the heart. if i write something that sounds like i’m trying to sell you a t-shirt…buy a t-shirt. seriously, i need some of you to buy some t-shirts.

in closing i would like to thank those of you who read regularly, or even occasionally. really, anyone who’s ever stopped by this site EVER. weeeeee! oh except for the people from serbia that arrive here from googling “naked little girl.” i do not thank you. no, i don’t. but the rest of you are gems. i appreciate your reading and being a part of this project of mine. and it’s ok that you read it. it’s so funny to me the teensy amount of embarrassment folks have when they admit to me they read my blog. rest assured one thing that has always been and will always be true of elaine tucker: i love attention. you will never have to apologize for paying attention to me and my life doings. you may not even have a choice. i will not go away until you do.

it’s become clear to me it’s time to end this post. thank you. i love you. and…i love myself. bye!