weekending

 jeni's ice cream date
darla dressdarla came hometo me, from meto me, from mikemother's day brunchbrunch disheshandmade cards planting a garden glitter garden fairy garden

 

i wish i could bring these pictures into a proper narrative portraying how lovely mother’s day weekend came together for us over here. i can’t though. to put it simply; my girl came home and my parents came with her. love and appreciation abounded. group projects were finished up. i received handmade goodness from both mike and darla, along with some vinyl and other small items. i even gifted myself with a pair of earrings and a keychain that i’ve been coveting from the shop. my parents helped us finish putting in gardens. darla planted a butterfly and fairy garden complete with glitter. mike and i teamed up for mother’s day brunch. it was a string of simple accomplishments that pulled together in one nice package. i feel good about heading forward into the future as a family of four with these people at my back. my parents, mike and darla are truly an incredible support team.

and i guess if i had to put everything under one umbrella i could pull this all together with the saying “momma gets what momma wants.”  i’m glad i can say that knowing that it has no negative connotation. everything from the first photo to the last speaks to me about the learning curve i’ve passed through about being an active participant in my own happiness, about celebrating myself and my motherhood, about saying yes to myself sometimes and for asking for what i want from the universe unabashedly because in the end the things i want are small but meaningful.

i wanted an ice cream sundae so i got it. i wanted that white dress for my girl so i got it. i wanted my parents to visit and help put in a garden this year because i knew i would need help and it would be meaningful to me for it to be something we all did together. so i asked for that. i wanted two small, inexpensive items to celebrate my own motherhood this year so i got them without shame. because i did that i was able to let go and appreciate my gifts from others at a deeper level. i wanted to have mother’s day celebration at our house so i asked for help with that. i wanted a nice balance of being honored for the day but also continuing to do the things i do that support my family. i wanted darla to have her own garden space so i asked for that too and then i helped her carry out her own wishes for the space that was now hers.

i’ve learned that i don’t need to hide my wants and desires from this world. i don’t want for grand things. if i did that would be ok, too. but i don’t need to be a martyr in my own life. it’s ok for me to ask for the small things. i know enough about myself to feel secure in saying that i would be happy even if these things didn’t come to pass but being an active participant in voicing my desires to the universe has made a big difference in my life. sometimes life calls for pulling up your britches and putting yourself to work for what you want. other times it calls for reaching out and asking of others. i feel that for most of my life i’ve flip-flopped from one side to the other, either relying on myself too much or relying on others. this may be the first time in my life, or at least a very long time, that i’ve felt a good balance between self-reliance and outside help. it leaves me feeling so much more whole.

and i thank my family for that gift of wholeness. it was truly a wonderful mother’s day.

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