this is my postpartum

this is
week four of
my postpartum
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i am too tired and busy to put words together coherently now. if this makes no sense it’s because the children have taken over. week 4 was my first week with both my girls under my care for the majority of their hours. husbeau is working 12 hour days, 6 days a week, which means i’m working that too. he and i shared an extended hug the other night and i told him i couldn’t tell if we were still hugging or if we’d just fallen asleep standing up leaning into one another…

this is the story of most of the parenting world, right? stretched to their limits but somehow digging down deep and coming up with more to give.

so yes, darla was back for week four of daphne’s life which means we were back to being on the go and i have once again been relegated to the holder of found items on walks. it’s worked out pretty well but leaves me wondering how this will all shake out when dap jo becomes more than just an accessory to darla’s life. or rather an accessory to me…which leads me to how we got through this first week of single-parenting a 5 1/2 year age gap….

babywearing!

i know, babywearing is one of those things that crunchy communities talk and talk about leaving the rest of you feeling bored out of your mind. but i couldn’t be more thankful that i somehow stumbled upon babywearing in darla’s first weeks. you see, strollers suck for city life. and i have never, ever been strong enough to carry a baby in a car seat carrier. i don’t know how all these tiny women are doing that! being able to wear daphne is the only way i could fathom being able to keep my active older, well, active.

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it allows for naps at the park snuggled with ma and discrete nursing

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which then allows for journaling and listmaking.

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 it allows me to tackle what chores i can.

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 it allows me to keep the little one close for baby gazing.

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more specifically, chunky baby buns gazing. so squishy!

so, maybe you’re wondering how i’m holding up…

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^^^ there you go! ^^^

overall i’m doing great. pretty good. really ok. not that bad. breathing, i think.

ha. i kid. things are what they are and what i have to say is that i’m enjoying this time in life. it’s not exactly great. it’s not exactly bad. it is what it is and that’s somewhere in between. what i want to remember is how overcome i am on a daily basis for how beautiful and filled with love my life is now.  i don’t know, i guess that’s what i see in that woman’s face up there.

when i get extra tired one of my eyes always sags more than the other. we’re sleeping in good chunks but have reached the point in time when too many nights of broken rest are the same as not getting rest at all. so i’m tired and stretched but i still find a raw beauty in all that.

plus my hair is still most excellent. i’m saving up all my postpartum emotions for when my hair starts falling out. waaahhh.

*wish us luck with week five which sees us prepping to send darla to kindergarten. verklempt!*

this is my postpartum

this is
week two of
my postpartum

we can start off by saying that daphne did lots of things in her second week of life that would be deemed rude if she were an adult.

like…

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^^^ yawn in my face ^^^

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^^^ and fall asleep on my chest. ^^^

and puke on me. but she’s not an adult. she’s a baby so all these things were frickin’ adorable! i also got to witness some pretty loving moments from my eldest towards her sis.

like…

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^^^ playing peek-a-boo ^^^

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^^^ morning time snuggles ^^^

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^^^ taking care of ‘le diaper’ situation ^^^

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^^^ and providing moral support during daphne’s first doctor’s visit ^^^

yes, daphne had her first real looksie done by a pediatrician. it was our first outing. how crazy it is to think about the difference between the beginnings of life for my two girls. i definitely recommend a slower paced start like we’ve had with daphne. it’s weirdly refreshing to realize you haven’t been out and about for a week but tucked away and snuggling your loves instead.

and as for me, my week was filled with milestones as well, and some sweet self-care.

like…

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^^^ …prepping myself a meal. i didn’t cook it but it was the first i had assembled on a plate for myself in at least 10 days! ^^^

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^^^ …and babywearing ^^^

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^^^ …and wearing real clothes and missing the way they used to fit over my big belly. ^^^

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^^^ reading ^^^

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^^^ writing out dreams and schemes ^^^

but the most important thing i did for the second week of my babe’s life was to work on our breastfeeding relationship. dap jo has been a pretty good little nurser, but we’ve not been without challenges. even with more knowledge, prior experience and ample resources, getting this relationship off to a good start has been a lot of work. however, i’m so thankful for the extra tools i have this time around. i feel passion building inside of me again to put some CLC skills to use alongside other women as they forge these sweet relationships with their little ones.

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^^^ so i kept my lactation materials close. and my family kept me nourished and supplied with snacks and beverages within arm’s reach. self care is an important part of baby care! ^^^

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^^^ we stayed close, snuggled up for most of the week ^^^

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^^^ i spent the week rotating through many different breastfeeding positions. we improved our skills together as a team. ^^^

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^^^ and thus far we’ve had a pretty pleasant experience leaving me with time enough to stare at a pretty little nursling head and send wishes to the cosmos that her hairs will stay all shades of red ^^^

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^^^ …and enjoy her blissed out, post feed slumbers. ^^^

and i have to say that i realize how lucky i am to have had the opportunity to spend these first two weeks off my feet with my brand-spanking-new baby. i’m thoroughly grateful for the care of my family and to the universe to receive that gift. i didn’t accept it the first time around and now i know what i missed out on with my first girly. having that care and taking this time gave me the energy i needed to get our breastfeeding relationship off to a great start. i believe this experience will ripple forward through our lives bringing positive things our way.

wish us well with week 3!