i’m sitting here with a new meaning for earth day. i’ve been unsure about writing about this because it’s a tender, dear subject and i don’t want to give any indication of exploiting the matter for gaining attention.

but damn. last week can go to hell. it can go there and stay there forever. and i have to write and i have to process.

my family is reeling at the moment from an unexpected death. my family was still reeling from an expected death when this unforeseen second death came along and swept us off our feet again. i’m still in that space where facts and information don’t seem quite real but it’s slowly sinking in that it is the truth. and it will be the truth for all my tomorrows.

most of my day was focused on being with family hard-core, giving hugs, shedding tears together, listening to our collective disbelief, squeezing on my people, especially my littlest person. i didn’t even realize it was earth day until we were driving home this evening. i was struck by a new meaning to the term earth day. i’ve had 10,976 earth days. for 30+ years i’ve had the privilege to be on this earth.

we’re living in a disposable world where people throw away their time and their energy just as easily as their napkins, diapers, k-cups and razor blades. i feel we’ve truly lost touch with the idea of making something last. we’ve lost touch with how miraculous it is to be around for 30 years. or say 25…

we’re always trying to create time instead of realizing it’s there before our very eyes. it’s being hindered by the very things that are labeled as conveniences. our earth is being depleted by these conveniences. our relationships are slipping away. permanence is being lost and it’s all becoming disposable. even our memories. even our emotions.

maybe i’m tired and raw and drained and i’m not making sense. but i know this: making every day count is about getting back to the earth and living simply. it’s about refusing the disposables from your life and seeking the permanent. love is permanent. friendship is permanent. family is permanent. celebrating earth day every day spreads farther than just your consumer choices, your carbon foot print and your sustainability. it is essentially celebrating the good that is available for you to achieve every single day.

how much good could you achieve in only 25 years? honestly, how much? a whole hell of a lot is what i think. i’m going to stop thinking of life as too short. it’s a whole precious chunk of time if you use it wisely. if you celebrate what is really important and buck off the bullshit. we can’t belittle it by thinking it’s not enough. after all, it’s all we’ve got.

what good are you going to do with all the long days of your life? you have so little to do and so much time to do it.

all you have to do is love. care. cherish. live simply and be grateful for every day that creeps past with its long sunrise and slow afternoon minutes with slanted sunshine that seem to rest on the floor for an eternity. the still, quiet nighttime with the slow, toddler breath coming from down the hall and the low murmur of a tv show from downstairs. those are the details that pass by in their time just calling out; i’ve been here for all these minutes. have you even noticed me? what more could you have to pay attention to than this? this is life.

your years and life are long. they are adequate time to love and honor life on earth. be here. be present. have gratitude for that with which you are entrusted. seek the permanent. your life is not disposable.