this is my postpartum

this is
week three of
my postpartum

the house. was. quiet.  the house. was. still. we were all alone. and so peaceful until…

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this past week saw daphne and i wrapped up as a duo by our lonesome during the daytime hours as miss darla was off at grandparent’s camp for the week. so, you might say this week gave me a taste of what most other women experience for their maternity leave. before i get into some of my coping techniques {that’s my fancy way of saying desserts} i wanna put down here a few thoughts about that.

the loneliness is what makes it hard. i am feeling so much for first time parents right now since being whisked back to the place where it is just you taking on the responsibility for a tiny, tiny human all alone for most of the hours of the day. that’s what early motherhood looks like for many women in this country. and it makes me sad because i do not believe we were meant to do this shut up in our houses, isolated in our bedrooms and on our couches. fortunately, i was lucky to have some visitors during day hours and we had visitors in the night-time as well to help me feel like i was still part of the world. but damn, it’s the loneliness that exhausted me more than anything.

overall, i did alright though with the abundant alone time. i was aware that this week alone with my second born was a gift as from here on out it’ll be me juggling two kiddos. but getting through the day without any helpers was a different ball game. it required more planning and more patience, more desserts and yes, incited more crying. see above ^^^

because when mama has to use the bathroom without a helper it means sometimes the baby is going to have to cry. fortunately, this is not as stressful the second time around. it is just an IS.

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i kept a stash of snacks easily accessible for when making meals was not an option

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i watched my favorite movie as a pick-me-up for long hours of cluster feeding

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and paired it with dessert

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i took my human mattress routine out onto the porch sometimes

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and we were all three glad when dad came home in the evenings

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on friday i took daphne to the city market and treated myself to a nice breakfast for making it through the week on our own. it was nice to be around so much bustling life after weeks of stillness in our own home.

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but the majority of my time was still spent snuggled up nursing this one

and that’s as it should be. and i don’t want to complain about an existence that consists of sitting around and cuddling a squishy, beauty baby all day but the reality is that after a while it gets really lonely and boring and hard to meet your own needs. and learning to deal with that is the growth of this phase of parenting. i had to consistently remind myself that this is a brief period of time. i had to remind myself that i don’t need to get other things done right now.  i needed to put those things on the back burner for one more week and focus on what i could get done at the moment. and i feel that worked so much better for me.  i was really focused on getting back into getting shit done when darla was born and i think i missed out on some really important bonding with her.

and i feel really lucky to have this second chance to focus on just my baby. i realize these are problems of privilege. not all moms get the opportunity to just sit around and focus on “momming” for three weeks.

so i’m grateful for the loneliness, and the boredom and the difficulty meeting my needs for that short time. and i hope i’ll keep these feelings with me so i’ll have tool sets for helping mothers who are couch bound and mothers that have to get back on their feet and back to responsibilities asap.

wish us well with week 4!

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bump day

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2 weeks postpartum. is that all?

it seems like daphne has been here forever and always and the days are going by slowly. again, i hope this is a sign that we’re doing this right and taking our time. if we just take a look back a few weeks ago to the difference in this form, i’m just in awe of this transformation as my body slowly slips back to a semblance of its former self.  things are still tender and i’m just now feeling like i’m picking up speed.

now that things are sifting and settling, i’m really happy i did the bump day posts. i love going back to read over them and seeing the transformation from week to week. my prediction is that not a whole lot will change through this fourth and final trimester. there may not be much more transformation to document. who knows? maybe that’s the point. maybe the point is to put it out there that moving swiftly ahead to any other physical form is just not how this goes for most of us mothers.

maybe the transformation i’m capturing is how much more OK i am with that this time around.

because, i’m really OK with it this time around.

aaand while i’m getting all nostalgic i wanna just throw in a link for this bump day post again because i really, really loved doing that post.

hi all, please give us your vote for the week by clicking the vote for us icon below. thanks for your help!

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this is my postpartum

this is
week two of
my postpartum

we can start off by saying that daphne did lots of things in her second week of life that would be deemed rude if she were an adult.

like…

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^^^ yawn in my face ^^^

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^^^ and fall asleep on my chest. ^^^

and puke on me. but she’s not an adult. she’s a baby so all these things were frickin’ adorable! i also got to witness some pretty loving moments from my eldest towards her sis.

like…

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^^^ playing peek-a-boo ^^^

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^^^ morning time snuggles ^^^

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^^^ taking care of ‘le diaper’ situation ^^^

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^^^ and providing moral support during daphne’s first doctor’s visit ^^^

yes, daphne had her first real looksie done by a pediatrician. it was our first outing. how crazy it is to think about the difference between the beginnings of life for my two girls. i definitely recommend a slower paced start like we’ve had with daphne. it’s weirdly refreshing to realize you haven’t been out and about for a week but tucked away and snuggling your loves instead.

and as for me, my week was filled with milestones as well, and some sweet self-care.

like…

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^^^ …prepping myself a meal. i didn’t cook it but it was the first i had assembled on a plate for myself in at least 10 days! ^^^

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^^^ …and babywearing ^^^

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^^^ …and wearing real clothes and missing the way they used to fit over my big belly. ^^^

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^^^ reading ^^^

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^^^ writing out dreams and schemes ^^^

but the most important thing i did for the second week of my babe’s life was to work on our breastfeeding relationship. dap jo has been a pretty good little nurser, but we’ve not been without challenges. even with more knowledge, prior experience and ample resources, getting this relationship off to a good start has been a lot of work. however, i’m so thankful for the extra tools i have this time around. i feel passion building inside of me again to put some CLC skills to use alongside other women as they forge these sweet relationships with their little ones.

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^^^ so i kept my lactation materials close. and my family kept me nourished and supplied with snacks and beverages within arm’s reach. self care is an important part of baby care! ^^^

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^^^ we stayed close, snuggled up for most of the week ^^^

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^^^ i spent the week rotating through many different breastfeeding positions. we improved our skills together as a team. ^^^

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^^^ and thus far we’ve had a pretty pleasant experience leaving me with time enough to stare at a pretty little nursling head and send wishes to the cosmos that her hairs will stay all shades of red ^^^

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^^^ …and enjoy her blissed out, post feed slumbers. ^^^

and i have to say that i realize how lucky i am to have had the opportunity to spend these first two weeks off my feet with my brand-spanking-new baby. i’m thoroughly grateful for the care of my family and to the universe to receive that gift. i didn’t accept it the first time around and now i know what i missed out on with my first girly. having that care and taking this time gave me the energy i needed to get our breastfeeding relationship off to a great start. i believe this experience will ripple forward through our lives bringing positive things our way.

wish us well with week 3!

this is my postpartum

since taking my postpartum doula training i’ve been contemplating how my own postpartum period would shake down. i’m going to be honest and state that i’ve had high hopes for this time period. this is probably my last baby and i feel i didn’t treat my postpartum with darla with the sacredness of which it was worthy. i did the typical first-time-mom thing of trying to prove that i would be good at motherhood by getting up on my feet and back in the game.

well, that didn’t work out so well.

so this time around we’re doing things differently. i’d like to document it for these next 6 weeks, maybe longer, in hopes that it’ll give others some insight i didn’t have for my first go-around. and if no one is in need of insight these posts will just be here for the internet to entomb for-ev-er.

get ready for some cute overload and postpartum tips:

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^^^ life! let’s do this ^^^

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^^^ herbal bath for momma and baby ^^^

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^^^ with big sis’ help ^^^

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^^^ i spend almost the entirety of the day reclining w/ some part of baby daphne all up in my face ^^^

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^^^ sometimes it’s toes ^^^

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^^^ sometimes it’s nose ^^^

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^^^ but more often those toes are peeking out from under a blanket during a nursing ^^^

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^^^ and everyone is tryingt to focus on rest and relaxation…except maybe darla ^^^

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^^^ she keeps herself busy helping to hold and snuggle daphne ^^^

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^^^ and helping the midwife with measurements ^^^

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^^^ and beautifying our space. “one is for you and one is for daphne, mom.” ^^^

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^^^ we’ve been lucky enough to have tons of help in the food department ^^^

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^^^ and both daphne and i are taking most of our meals in bed ^^^

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^^^ along with my placenta capsules! ^^^

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^^^ but most of my time is spent just staring at this lovely little human and snuggling up close…and changing her bountiful diapers. seriously, this girl can poop. ^^^

so, what else do i want to say about this first week of my second daughter’s life? i want to say that this experience feels right. i wanted to be kinder to myself this time around because i wanted to then in turn be able to be kinder to my family. i wanted to sit around and do nothing but mother my new little one. to be able to do that means i had to welcome in the help. i had to welcome in the care. this was something i was not good at the first time around. with darla we had a great network of friends but i think i was still trying to prove that i could do this on my own.

but doing it with help is sooooo much better!!! and we’ve been really blessed to have help coming from many, many directions. really an overabundance of help that leaves me feeling quite unworthy. but i’ll take it. and i hope i’ll let it grow within me and beside me and my family so that i can pass it on in the future.

so the theme of this first week of life was rest and recuperation. and that would be my advice for families desiring a nice start to their postpartum.  just stay in bed. just rest with your babies. gather your tribe around you and welcome in the help, welcome in the care {with appropriate boundaries, of course} and just be. everything else can wait.

and i have to send out thanks to everyone who has dropped off food, my parents, my doula, our midwives, neighbors, family near and far who have helped us out in this first week. and a thank you to my husband and first born. it’s really astounding how much love and generosity we’ve received from you all and i want to tell you you’ve made all the difference in the world to my family and my second experience with motherhood.

sincere thanks and love vibes. wish us well with week two!