i’ll be attempting to post one moment from our day, daily. or at least as often as i can remember to. first entry:
Late night bed hop
Yes, little miss, you can sleep in here tonight.
so i’m afraid. now what?
i make a conscious effort not to be a fear-based person. at least i believe i’m really trying. i take risks and leaps of faith and i try not to let myself be afraid of obstacles that stand in my way. as i see bank accounts stretched and big decisions on the horizon i can feel that old reflex kick in. that fear is hardwired in there and man, it’s a bitch.
to put it out there: this is not how i thought my life would be at the age of 30. i expected something different of myself. i think therein lies the problem. my actualities seldom match up with my idealities. i trip up really hard and fast over the idea of what i want from my life versus what my life is. an IS is an IS. i have to accept that.
i feel this fear is maddening because so much of it seems very counterintuitive to the person i am. much of it seems to be based around silly rules and guidelines the world has built up. sometimes it seems that moving towards our “dreams” is made so futile and unattainable in this world that i don’t understand why we tell our young people that it’s a possibility in the first place. is it to make ourselves feel better? is it to make things turn out better for them? is it something that is only true for some people? what is it. who gets to follow their dreams? who gets to create their destiny? please, point the person out. give me their facebook info because imma sit down and pick their brains on how they did it.
did you do it? are you doing it? are you really doing, and living, and creating the life of your dreams? what’s your story? maybe you’re there and you’ve moved beyond this fear somehow. if you’re on the other side and you’re a voice that can say “it’s all going to turn out ok” then do. i need it. we all need it. i feel that all WE hear any more is that it’s NOT going to be ok. and no one needs to hear that. has it ever been true? in the whole long history of the universe with the balance between joyful things and horrible heartbreak, has it ever really not been ok? life goes on. here i am coaching myself through the fear from just a few paragraphs back but i guess part of me needs to know that you know it’s all going to be ok, too. if we don’t live our lives according to some straight and narrow path, it is going to be ok.
we have to start believing that for each other. well, i guess i can’t go giving the world advice. i can start with me. i have to start believing that for myself.
weekending: earthy
pairing the birthy and earthy has been a bit of a theme for me lately so let’s go with this.
our earthy part of the weekend was fulfilled by spending lots of time outdoors since the weather was amazeballs.
below you can see darla partaking in what started out as a backyard nature journal, turned watercolor backyard nature journal turned standard darla practice of painting herself blue. she painted our potted cherry tomato, our garden hose and outer space. since one of those is technically not in our backyard, and one of them is not really nature we’re going to have to work on this concept. but whatever. she done good.
we took what is normally a 15 minute walk up to the ice cream shop and it somehow managed to take us a full 2 hours roundtrip. see her face? i’m such a mean mom to make her go get ice cream with me. right after this she started asking to be carried but we’ve been phasing that out. so we made a deal that we could just take our time and take a look at whatever we wanted along the way. {when i say “we made a deal” it means that she decided to stop whenever she wanted and i decided to deal with it } it’s really one of my favorite things to do with her to just go out and find what we can find. i’m happy to take advantage of the opportunities life gives me to slow down and do things like this with her, especially when there is ice cream at the end.
see:
speaking of the nature influence: jeni’s chamomile ice cream. oh. mah. gawd. i paired it with cloverton and it was divine. simply devine. i might need it daily.
hope your weekend was swell. xoxo.
weekending: birthy
thank goodness nature gives us may before hitting us with the hard-core temps of summer, right? our weekend was beautiful and my weekend was quite birthy. i finished up my really lovely hypnobabies course. it’s nice to relearn things from a different perspective sometimes { you can hop on over to this post for more information about hypnobabies from maloree munn } and since it was a 6 week commitment it’s nice to have that all wrapped up under my belt. there is a nesting momma on the front porch of my instructor’s house. i took it to be a good omen. i also did a bit of postpartum work on saturday {sometimes a postpartum momma rings you up and just needs your help to make it to a hair appointment she made 3 mos ago. i’m here for that } and some studying and reading saturday night. little by little this work is falling into place.
but i hope to be more of use in the future so please give me a call if you’re in a family way and need a doula, people of columbus ohio!
doula-do: new informational support sessions via skype
i wanted to use this platform to flush out a new service i’ll be offering. you know that feeling you have when you’ve thought of a really good idea but you don’t know if it will actually work? that’s me right now. but i think i just heard someone whisper “if you build it, they will come.” so i’m going for it. oh, wait. that was just my neighbors’ lawnmower. here goes anyway!
since starting the birthwork trail i’ve happily been a resource for a few friends for prep & planning of their own journey into parenthood. i’d like to pat my own back and smugly say that i think i played a small part of positive birth experiences for a few people. smuggy humor aside, helping folks whenever and wherever is what i’m hoping to do with this birthy brain bank up there.
so what’s a doula to do when she’s got friends across the globe with bun’s in the oven? skype. the answer to all time/space conundrums.
i will now be offering informational sessions over skype to help you prepare, plan & celebrate the birth of your child. for a nominal fee you’ll get a series of 2-hour sessions with me to flush out all things pregnancy related. in short, you’ll basically be getting prenatal doula support even if distance doesn’t allow me to be at your birth with you.
this is perfect for any stage of your pregnancy! i feel it would be especially helpful in the beginning phase when there is a little bit of that “so we’re pregnant! now what?” going on. i will also provide email information back-up to guide you towards good resources.
is this a good idea? yes? if you think so, please feel free to send my info to anyone you know that is expecting even if they are not sure they’re going to need doula care or not. I have included info about the sessions over at columbus birth arts under the birth work section.
so who wants to be first in line? wish me luck.
weeksie
this week brought us a 50 degree temperature spread, the end of a school year and once again, big hair.
besides that we had some other doings, the details that make up our week:
1. lunch date 2. a partner hike up and down the hill 3. lots of bike rides 4. pancakes with strawberry milk, strawberries and peanut butter chips 5. go fish in the park {which darla does not understand the concept of keeping her cards a secret 6. and lastly some water colors on the porch in her tutu and leotard.
hope you liked some of our happy moments from the week. have a good weekend. wruckers send their best.
growing thingz
one of the things i think darla and i share in common is that we are experiential learners. the best way for me to learn is to try my hand at something and to then take note of all my mistakes and make plans for improvements in future endeavors. i wish i could be a better direction follower and researcher but my most concrete lessons are always the ones i’ve had to teach and learn myself.
i feel this has been the biggest purpose of our larger scale garden this year. we’re learning side-by-side, a bit of unschooling for both of us. i love the fact that the gardening and planting has been something that darla has had a great deal of involvement with this time around. everything from running items to the composter, planting, watering, helping me to make a natural insecticide and even talking to the plants when they were little sproutlets in our house. i’m happy to have the help while i can before she becomes to grown-up to find the tasks fun anymore.
momma daughter field trip!
we took a field trip down to the public garden plots our neighborhood rents out to take a tour of what other folks are doing. we came a couple of times last year to look but this time we were able to talk a little more in-depth about growing techniques because both she and i have more knowledge.
i am reminded by these activities that everything is a learning experience for her right now. i am really looking forward to this summer, to get back to some of these free-wheeling learning expeditions. i’m always amazed by how much she already knows how to do for herself and i’m reminded that this learning happens from life and not from books. i pray the universe helps me remember this when conventional wisdom starts making me think that i should be pushing her into structured school and learning.
